Moments of Clarity
by tinkwink
Summary: Beginnings of Spock and Uhura. How they met and how they changed each others lives. Life is interrupted in moments of clarity. Moments of insight that change the course of your life and guide your path.
1. Preliminary Hearing

**Preliminary Hearing **

"Do you understand the charges that have been presented before you?" The words echoed in Spock's head as his thoughts spun. The admirals satirical visages mirrored as if looking at a set of clones. Spock lowered his head as he attempted a meditative breath. This meeting was unexpected and nothing in his personal experience had prepared him to give an adequate response.

"Commander Spock, please answer the question." Admiral Nelson's irritation at repeating himself coated his words, as the rest of the board moved in restless agitation in their seats.

"Admiral, I would ask on what evidence these charges have been applied to me?" Spock stated as he looked from one board member to the other, careful to keep his eyes level and void of any appearance of haughtiness he had been accused of. His estimated 20.432 percent of eliminating these charges depended on not biasing himself with preconceived notions of vulcans as being an arrogant race above human notions of propriety.

"This is but a preliminary hearing to discuss the charges and set up council for all parties concerned. The evidence will be disclosed in the formal hearing. Understand Commander the charges are serious in nature and the repercussions of a guilty verdict will necessitate severe penalties. _I will ask again and for the last time, do you understand the charges presented before you?" _

Spock tipped his head to the side as he acknowledged the admiral, his voice soft and uncommonly thready in his shock that this could possibly be happening to him. His thoughts, so uniformed and methodical, were now scattered as he thought back to the beginning of the hearing. Spock had dismissed his first lecture, curiously aware of the presence of administrator Raddick, whom had entered the lecture hall and stood mutely in the background with an emotional look on his face that piqued his interest. Raddick had stood in the background for 35.4 minutes while he had instructed on the variations of the Andorian dialect from the cast system dealing with trade issues.

Cadet Uhura twisted in her seat to see what had her instructor's obvious attention. At the administrator's pensive expression Uhura turned back see Spock's reaction. At his raised eyebrow she deduced that he was as unaware of the reason for his presence as she was. However Spock did not miss a beat in his lecture as sure in his presentation as well as he was of the material that he was covering. At the end of his lesson he turned toward the podium without any pleasantries that other instructors would bestow, such as well wishes for the day.

Cadets gathered their PAADS and other possessions as they made their way out of the lecture hall. The cacophony of sound echoing off the acoustic conditioned walls. Uhura's naturally curious nature caused her to pause as administrator Raddick made his way to the front of the hall, his boot heels clicking on the acrylic steps. Spock turned around silently watching his progress, only glancing in Uhura's direction once, his eyebrow still arched in curiosity. Raddick did not miss the exchange between student and teacher. If possible his expression turned more grave as he made it to podium.

"Commander Spock?" Raddick opened the conversation with what Spock could only surmise as a highly illogical introduction. Of course he knew who he was, why ask the question? Was there something wrong with his eyesight.? Needlessly Spock responded.

"Administrator." Raddick pulled at his collar in a restless motion, as he looked back to Uhura and then back to Spock. "Is there something that I may assist you with?" The man was obviously broadcasting his uneasiness in ever increasing waves, that batted at Spock making him ill at ease as well.

"Commander, I need to speak with you... alone." Before Spock could respond, Uhura stepped up and took Spock's PAAD from his hand, careful not to touch, always careful not to touch.

"I'll just transcribe the rest of your notes for the tutorial class this afternoon," Uhura said her eyes wide with apprehension as she tried to give him her support. Spock wished in one of his rare moments to be able to express his reassurance, knowing his face held no trace of his own uneasiness.

"Spock this is pretty important," Raddick interrupted stepping up as if to get between the other two. Uhura turned abruptly at the intrusion letting go of the PAAD. Both Spock and Uhura made to rescue the tablet at the same time. The emotional barrage from his student engulfed Spock as their fingers touched. Spock swallowed back his response as she vocalized her apology at her intrusion. He could hear her reprimanding herself under her breath. _Stupid...stupid... stupid... _Spock's lip twitched at the corner, as he notated this was probably the most inadequate time to find humor in his student. Standing up he turned to Raddick but answered Uhura instead.

"Your transcription would be most welcome, Cadet. I will look over the results this afternoon before the class." Uhura nodded as she stood up. Still she made no move to leave. Spock looked toward the administrator, rubbing his hand as if his fingers were irritating him. Raddick pointed to the exit as he motioned for Spock to follow. Never would he have thought that the administrator would be leading him to a preliminary hearing on pending charges of fraternization, extortion, and sexual harassment. If vulcans had the ability to dream, he would have been convinced that this was just a bad nightmare as his mother was fond of saying. But vulcans did not. And this was not a dream.

Admiral Nelson's voice brought Spock back to the present. Belatedly he realized that he had spent the last 7.8 minutes lost in thought. Today was a most unusual day. With determination, he concentrated on the board's instructions.

"I advise that you seek council as soon as possible. As of this moment you are suspended of any instructor's capacity."

"My class schedule..." Nelson interrupted him.

"Will be instructed with Starfleet personnel. As of this moment you will desist with any interaction with students pending the determination. Failure to comply will be issued with additional charges. Are you willing to comply with these conditions?"

" Yes admiral." Spock answered louder, now that he was under control. As Spock moved to leave, Nelson leaned forward.

"Spock, I do not need to remind you, that any direct communication with Cadet Uhura is strictly forbidden. It is in your best interest to comply. Get council." Nelson closed his PAAD and stepped down from his seat as the others left by the back exit, their footsteps the only sound in the room. Spock looked at the abandoned room void of his earlier composure. Council? Where was he going to get council? He could count on his right hand the number of people that he could possibly turn to and still have five digits to deal with. The first person he thought of was taken from him 1.9 minutes ago. In the heart felt words of his Grandfather Grayson. …. _Shit._


	2. Chapter 2 Emotional Intelligence

Cadet Uhura stared back at the PADD, the words swam out of focus as she tried not to let her emotions run away from her. She closed her eyes and took a meditative breath. _Focus... focus... Remember emotional intelligence begins with a clear mind. Clarity... _

"_Sorry commander, it's not working. _Uhura took another unsteady breath. The time on the computer indicated that Commander Spock had left the lecture hall 1 hour ago. A lot could happen in one hour. The tutorial lecture was due to start in approximately 45 minutes. This was not a good sign. She looked to the door again. Hoping beyond hope that he would walk through the door and state in his authoritative cadence that it was another offer for a presentation, or symposium. Anything... Uhura laughed . Yes he would be secretly amused at her irrational, highly illogical heightened emotions. Needless worry... Where was he?

"_I haven't improved as much as you thought sir. My emotional intelligence is not very smart right now. I guess I need more instruction than was originally planned... I am so sorry sir. It's all my fault..._

Uhura tried to force back her sobs. _He would not appreciate this display. _The force of the outer door opening and closing caused her to take a deep breath and get a hold of herself. She needed to remain calm. They needed to think up a plan if …. They had to get their stories straight. A unified front. She got up taking deep breaths to clear her tears and clear her head. Putting a false smile she looked up to greet her instructor, only to turn into confusion when instructor Hall moved in, her aid following closely behind her carrying a stack of PADDS and other materials in his arms.

"Oh, Cadet. I didn't expect you to be here." Hall said, her tone guilty as if she were caught at sneaking in the office.

"I was just preparing for Commander Spock's tutorial. He should be here any minute." Uhura followed the other instructor as she laid her bag on the desk and motioned her aid to do the same.

" Well, well my girl, there is a change in plans." Uhura tried to make eye contact but the instructor was focusing on everywhere but at the cadet in front of her.

"Change in plans instructor Hall?" Uhura echoed forcing her voice to be steady in a false curiosity.

Still not looking directly at her, she continued, "Yes, well Mr. Spock has taken a small break and will not be available for a while. I will taking over his classes for the time being."

"Taking a break? You are teaching his classes?" Uhura felt like a parrot as she tried to focus on the instructor. Commander Spock did not take breaks. Not willingly. "Is Commander Spock alright?" Not exactly what she wanted to know, but afraid to voice too much.

"Yes, dear he is …. there is nothing wrong. I am sure everything will be fine." Hall patted her hand still not looking directly into her eyes. Turning to her aide, she directed him to the table. " Right now I have to get ready for my class." Uhura stepped back as the aide started moving things to make some order of the table, sliding Spock's PADD to the side, taking over her seat and clearing the computer. Quickly she stepped forward and grabbed his PADD, clutching to her chest.

_It was wrong. They should not be taking over, touching his stuff. He preferred that his stuff not be touched. _Leaning over the desk to retrieve a folder, the aid swiped a halo disc with his elbow sending the 3 dimensional picture shattering to the floor. Uhura's heart wrenching plea and quick reflexes were not enough to save the disc. Uhura went down to her knees and through her tears picked up the pieces.

"Are you alright dear?" The instructor asked turning to the cadet and cooed as she saw Uhura's dismay.

"Awe, such a shame. Was it a family picture?" Uhura tried to stop the flow of tears.

"No, it ...it was just a scene from Spo... It was a gift..." The instructor inspected the pieces and looked directly into Uhura's eyes for the first time. In just one moment both acknowledged that the tears were for more than just a picture and that more than the picture was broken today.

"Sorry about the Halo dear. If you can't fix it, I'm sure you can find another one, what?" In sympathy, the instructor patted Uhura's hand. Then moved to stand to her feet. Uhura gathered the pieces and stood to her feet, her stance wobbled as her knees started to tremble. Everything was falling apart. As she backed out of the door, her thoughts whirled. What had happened that would have Spock leave like this. It didn't make sense. Spock will know what to do. Determined now to get the answers and assurance she needed she bolted out of the lecture hall, passing by other cadets, not bothering to make eye contact. As she raced down the steps she forced to a sudden stop as if hitting a brick wall. Gaia stood in front of her, clutching her arms. Uhura's tears started falling again and the words stuck in her throat as she tried to tell her roomate what had happened in the last hour.

"It's ok, I heard all about it. Come on lets get you off of the streets right now." Uhura let herself be lead for a couple of feet before she dug her feet into the ground.

"Wait, Gaia Wait! I have to go see him. He'll know what to do." Vainly trying to pull her arm free, Uhura tried to change her direction toward the instructors lodging, but Gaia would not have it.

"No way. Are you crazy? Are deliberately trying to get him court martial-ed. Because you marching directly to his apartment will do just that." Gaia tempered her voice as Uhura broke down at her harsh tone. "Calm down. Tears are causing a scene. You cannot afford to bring speculation right now. You need to think with your head girl. You know that." Uhura pulled back angrily biting her words out.

"I don't know anything! All I know is that he was called away and now instructor Hall is tearing up his office and...," Tears flowed as her anger spent her strength and she lowered her voice, "and her aide broke my halo..." Uhura lifted up the broken pieces to show her friend. Gaia gathered her up into her arms, glaring at the other cadets as they rubbernecked their way into the hall.

"Come on my friend, lets go home and I'll fill you in all the gory details that I have found out. It's a shame that your halo is broke. He was the one that gave that to you wasn't he..." Uhura took a deep breath and thought back to that fateful day that changed her life.

"_Come on Lissan, we are going to be late!" Young Uhura pulled the Andorian up the steps of the Library complex of the Starfleet campus. _

"_I don't see how we can be late if we are not supposed to be here. You are going to get us in trouble again. And mother said that if you do I can't play with you anymore." Uhura waved her friend's concern away._

"_This is a public display of the Starfleet opportunities available. I want to see space." Uhura dug in her heels and launched her friend up the last few steps. Don't you want to see space?" _

_Lissan sh'Zarath was not impressed. The daughter of the Andorian Ambassador was finding it hard to concentrate on anything but her missed lunch. "Aal iip ngi hami." She whined as she stamped her foot._

"_Oh, stop your fussing. I'll get us a couple of hot dogs after we see the exhibit." Lissan spit off to the side in her opinion of Terran cuisine._

"_Hotdogs! Aszh ngi, ngi harri." what, what iiss this hot dogs really? There is no dog and they are rarely hot. No Nyota lets us return to the institution to continue with this education." _

"_Ahh don't you want to see the exhibit? We are not missing anything today. They won't even notice that we are gone." Lissan's antenna twitched at her assessment. They had very different views on how the day had went so far. The ambassador's bodyguards were last seen chasing them down the street. If they hadn't caught the bus at the last minute, Lissan would be sitting in her Mothers office getting the riot act with all of her parents. Humans thought it bad with two. Try having four in your face at once. Food tactics were not working, so Lissan tried another course to dissuade her friend. _

"_Space is highly over rated Nyota. Once you've seen one star field, you've seen them all." Lissan looked to her fingernails in showing her cool detatchment, Uhura was having none of that. She had been dreaming of this day for the last two weeks. Nothing was going to stop her from getting closer to her dream. _

" _Will you hurry up? We are going to miss the best exhibits." Uhura gave up on pulling her and moved behind her to push her the rest of the way. _

"_Nyota, this is just a recruiting drive. You are not going to see anything special. Just a bunch of brochures and halo pamphlets. A couple of replicator magnets if you are lucky. When you told me that we were going to skip school, I assumed that we would be doing something fun." _

"_Come on," Finally giving up on her friend, Uhura stepped into the complex in awe at the displays demonstrating the benefits of service in the various branches of the United Federation of Planets. Not sure which booth to start at Uhura dashed through the throng of people._

"_Come on Spock this is going to be fun." The lieutenant raised his eyebrow at the broad statement made by his captain. "Remember, there is a bottle of Romulan ale in this deal." The captain paused in his teasing as a pint sized girl popped up to table, her large dark eyes scanning the halo boards in wonder. He turned toward the lieutenant,then did a double take. What was the kid doing here._

"_Indeed captain, and who benefits from this 'bottle'," Spock asked for clarification. Christopher Pike shrugged, not concerned with the details._

"_Spock its just a little favor. Just a couple of hours and we are through. Number 1 and the Doc will take over and we can take off." Chris turned back to the front of the table, to find the girl still in front of the table but now her full attention was on conversation between his crewman. Her pigtailed head bobbing from Spock to himself as the other responded. _

" _I believe it was a bet and not a favor. A bet that you lost I might add. I still need some clarification on how your obligation became our obligation." Spock's unblinking countenance normally so intimidating to others, did not phase Pike a bit. _

"_Lieutenant, I rely on the loyalty of my bridge crew. And the obligations my ship are obligations to all of us." _

"_Romulan ale is illegal." Chris stopped in his cohorting at the blatant interruption. The young girl's eyes held a mature censor that had the captain on the defensive._

"_I beg your pardon?" Uhura's gaze was steady as she repeated her observation._

"_Romulan ale is illegal. You can get in big trouble if you are caught with it." Chris turned to Spock, in suspicion at the sound of a sudden throat clearing. If he wasn't sure that Vulcans do not laugh, he would have sworn he heard a smothered chuckle. And one thing he was certain was that his lieutenant did not chuckle. _

"_You better not be caught with it. You could lose a lot of money in fines, at the very least." Chris leaned across the table to get closer to the same level as his accuser._

"_At the very least?" Pike repeated, and Uhura shook her head sagely, her expression very mature for a girl, surely no older than ten. _

"_You could go to jail." Chris mimed the word no in exaggeration to Uhura's wise head shake of affirmation. "Depending on the amount of Romulan ale in your possession and your intent." Suddenly the advise coming from the little girls mouth did not sound so silly. How would a child know the law in such detail. Chris turned to Spock, whose eyebrow escaped beyond the black fringe of his bangs. _

"_The girl's assessment is quite accurate captain. Terran law is explicit in the penalties of possession of the illegal substance." Uhura started to agree with the lieutenant but stopped as she noticed his alien appearance for the first time. Not that she wasn't used to seeing a number of various species outside of the human norm, Lissan was her best friend after all, but she had never been this close to a real Vulcan before. _

_The race was very private, not social creatures of habit and had not met one in the bar ever. On closer inspection, he looked rather human. He had the regular number of features, two eyes, two ears, one nose. His color was a little different, almost like she looked the 1st time she had sneaked into the Andorian Brandy. She would never do that again. She paused her inspection at his eyes. There was something different about his eyes. Yet something so familiar. Maybe it was their color? They were lighter in color than described in the history books. She thought they were always black, but his had a flecks of lighter brown, that seemed to give them a polished marble glaze to them._

_Pike looked bemusedly at his crewman who had tilted his head in censor at the girl's blatant stare. Lissan slowly made her way to the table, not wanting Uhura to feel like she had won the battle. The campaign had just begun. _

"_Aal iip ngi hami." The Andorian kept her face schooled on the table, not looking at anyone in particular. Uhura huffed at her friend's one tract mind._

"_Food later Lissan, right now I am learning some interesting facts about Starfleet officers" Lissan looked up, skeptical._

"_Yes, I was" Lissan shrugged her shoulders as if to ask what could possibly interesting about Starfleet officers."Well, we were discussing..." _

"_We were discussing Terran law in accordance with possession and distribution of illegal substances." Spock spoke up causing Pike to turn around and do a little throat clearing of his own. Lissan perked up at the Vulcan's description of the current conversation. She turned to Uhura and chatted animatedly in her native tongue about the benefits of Andorian sweet bread just waiting for her at home, when Uhura interrupted and continued to plead her case of just a few minutes more. Both of the other two men were impressed with the young girls grasp of the Andorian language._

_Spock tilted his head as he compared the native's tone and dialect with the earth girl's competency with the foreign tongue. If he closed his eyes he would be hard pressed to identify the Andorian by speech inflection alone. _

"_Lissan!" Uhura raised her voice to match her heated expression. Then she turned to the two gentleman, who waited patiently for her attention. _

"_How old do you have to be to enlist?" Uhura thought her question quite grown up and mature. The two gentlemen turned toward each other and seemed to have a non verbal conversation between each other, involving Pike shrugging his shoulder toward the girl. Spock's eyebrow was doing that twitching thing again. Uhura waited what she thought was paiently for about 30 seconds. Again she asked the question, louder in case they did not hear her. Pike shook his head and turned his back on the table, leaving Spock to answer. _

"_How old do you have to be..."_

"_The age requirement is 18 in normal circumstances, precluding.." Uhura's eyes had dropped at the dreaded age of 18 mentioned until she heard the precluding and jumped at the hopeful sound._

"_Precluding..." Spock continued as if not interrupted."_

"_Precluding graduation of Starfleet academy." Again Uhura's eyes turned downcast. There was no way she and her uncle could afford Starfleet academy. The only way she was going to go into space was the hard way. _

"_That's what I thought." Uhura's heart breaking in her defeated words, started to turn from the table. Spock opened his mouth to... well he wasn't quite sure what he was going to say...The girl's expression of defeat made the Vulcan uncomfortable in unfamiliar territory dealing with human emotions. Even graduating at the top of his class at Starfleet, surrounded by highly emotional, immature students still had not desensitized him from the emotional broadcast humans unintentionally barraged empaths. It was true he was a touch telepath, but if emotions were intense enough, touch was not needed to feel them._

" _Aazh Lissan iip tur'sz hri kam," Lissan jerked her head toward the threat made by the embassy guards marching towards her with matching glares. In 4.9 seconds, Spock noted that Lissan scanned the 4 available exit points and rejected their ability to be achieved before the guards made it to her feet. Lissan turned to her friend and said in true Andorian defeat._

"_Urpi ht'zhr itsn." Uhura agreed that they were truly screwed and bolted to the right. She would have succeeded if Pike had not grabbed her by her shirt collar and hoisted her to her toes to keep her from running away. The guards regarded the Starfleet personnel with a shake of their heads. The head security guard bent down to address the ambassador's daughter in their own tongue before turning to standard._

"_Has Lissan here been bothering you?" Pike pulled the squirming Uhura to the other side of the table, the better to control her as he assured the embassy personnel that there was no trouble. Uhura pulled at her collar, the better able to breath. The moment Pike turned her loose, she made to bolt around but Spocks Vulcan stare from his chiseled countenance made to stop in her tracks. They all turned back to the embassy guard as he continued._

"_Ambassodor sh'Zarath has been very worried about you, since you alluded your guard and made a merry chase through the crowded streets of San Francisco. Curaacao was injured deflecting that hoverbike." Lissan bent her head in shame at the guard's censor. _

"_If you will excuse us, gentlemen." The guard took hold of Lissan's hand and the others fell into formation around her. _

"_Hey what about her?" Pike asked as he turned to Uhura who was standing as still as possible under the Vulcan's watchful gaze. _

"_What about her? Our duty is to the Ambassador." Pike could not believe they would just leave her here._

"_Aren't you going to take her home? Look you can't just leave her here!" Pike moved around the table to confront them. However they had continued on their way not bothering to comment. Pike watched them as they walked through the exit. With a Klingon curse under his breath he turned back to Spock thinking on how to handle this situation when Uhura agreed with the captain, repeating the slang with perfect inflection as if she had been schooled in the alien tongue. _

"_Young lady you shouldn't repeat words if you don't know what they mean." Pike reprimanded her, ashamed that she heard what he said._

"_I do know what it means. You said fu..." Pike stopped her from finishing the phrase. Shocked that a little girl would know Klingon curse words so well. _

"_Don't...say it!" Uhura immediately clamped her mouth shut. "Well Spock what are we going to do now?" Spock looked at him with the closest thing to shock on his normally calm visage. _

"_Who do we have here?" Number one's speculative tone made Pike turn with extreme relief . Of course Number one. She was a girl. She would be able to take care of her. Doc leaned in behind her looking from one to the other. _

"_Number one have I a job for you. I need you to take..." He stopped realizing that in all this time he still did not have her name. Pike dropped to his knees. "What is your name?" Uhura looked at him as if it was a trick question. "Come spill, what is your name?" _

"_It will be beneficial to all parties if you give us your name." Spock reiterated from his own height no emotion in stark contrast to Pike's obvious frustration at the current situation. Uhura gave it considerate thought before she turned to Spock and held out her hand._

"_I am Nyota Uhura." Spock looked at her hand taken aback at her boldness. He was even more dumbfounded when she grabbed his hand to do a formal handshake. Instantly he was bombarded by her fear and agitation with her predicament. Pike took her hand and broke the connection. Spocked looked from his hand to his fellow officers who equally stared back with compassion and embarrassment for him. Normally conditioned to take non verbal cues from the patrons in her unlce's bar, Nyota noted the taboo that she must have caused. She then noticed that Pike had moved to the other side of the table to talk with Number one in low convincing tones. Uhura also noted that she was not buying any of it. _

"_It will be alright. No one will hurt you." Uhura looked up at the Vulcan, guilt on her face. _

"_I did something wrong didn't I ?" Spock tilted his head toward her, seeking words to explain without offending the young girl needlessly. _

"_It was not wrong per say as not ethical considering the circumstances."_

_Spock was sure that his effort did not serve the original purpose of his intent, when Uhura eyes widen in horror._

"_I did something unethical? What's unethical?" Spock thought for a moment and then tried another tact. _

"_Do you know what a touch empath is?" By her expression he knew he needed to explain further. "A touch empath can receive the other person's emotional responses from the point of contact." Uhura thought on that for a moment. Spock repressed the need to clarify more until she grasped the simple concept. Before he continued to respond he literally saw her synapses jumping to the next conclusion in lightening speed._

"_I did do something bad... You don't like emotions. Because you are Vulcan, you don't have emotions and you don't want them or mine. I am so sorry... I didn't mean to..." Spock raised his hand to stop her, ready to contradict her misconceptions. _

"_Vulcans do not like nor dislike emotions. Everyone has emotions. Vulcans choose to control their emotions so that we are not controlled by them. I was not prepared for your casual contact and there fore was not able to shield myself." Again Spock waited while she digested this piece of information. _

"_I did not hurt you did I, honestly?" Spock assured her that it was not the case. _

"_Vulcans do not lie."_

"_And that was unetmic...unethical?" Spock replied as he noted that his captain's attempt to appeal to Number Ones maternal instinct was unsuccessful. _

"_Only knowing the fact that Vulcans are touch empaths and to touch without permission is to violate their inert wishes. You did not know, so no offense was meant. Now you know, and any further infringement would be intentional and therefore unethical."_

_Uhura shook her head determinately, "No touch, got it. I got this." Uhura looked into his eyes assuring him no more touching was understood. Spock could not help but wonder at the young girls quick mental capacity. Suddenly her face broke out in a radiant smile that broke his train of thought._

"_Come Mr. Spock, we need to escort …." Spock supplied Nyota's name for the captain, "Ms. Nyota home." Pike stated looking back at Number One to give her one last chance to change to mind, but she just smiled and waved them off. _

" _I can find my own way home. No one needs to take me home." Before Spock was able to speculate on the various reasons why it was unsafe for her to make her way home without benefit of escort, the Captain pushed her toward the door._

_Uhura looked out the window of the hovertaxi as the influential residences made way for the less fortunate of circumstances. Through their conversation, Spock estimated that Uhura had rudimentary understanding of seven alien syntaxes. Unfortunately the conversations were highly limited to recreational drinks and vulgar slang. Not entirely fit for common conversing. However Spock was quite surprised by her pronunciation and dialect for one so young and not indigenous to the area. The thirty minute ride passed quickly. Spock picked up his Captain's anxiety before he could understand its meaning. _

"_Are you sure you gave us the right address? You aren't trying to trick us are you?" Uhura looked up at the Captain her vulnerability clear on her face. She turned her face back to window to see the dilapidated building that was their destination as the hovertaxi pulled to the curb. _

"_Here we are." Her announcement redundant as she waited for the cabbie to release the door. Pike scanned his chip as he grabbed a hold of Uhura's collar to keep her from jumping out of the vehicle. Spock start to protest, that there was no need for the violent act, but Pike ignored him as he gave her just enough slack to clear the taxi exit. _

"_Lead on my lady." Pike pointed for her to start up the sidewalk. Pike was sure she was pulling a fast one on them, when she turned toward the bar with the sign proclaiming it was Honari's Happy Hour. Not quite sure that the sign was safe enough to walk under he pulled the reins on his young charge._

"_Hold on there Nyota, what are you trying to pull?" Uhura stopped short pulling at her collar._

"_Captain I fail to see that it is necessary to strangle Ms. Uhura." Nyota gave him a grateful smile for his support and tried to explain only to choke at the pressure on her throat. "Captain..." Pike let go in frustration. Today had been one long day. He just wanted to get back to his quarters and relax. Was that too much to ask? _

"_This is where I live." She stated with absolute conviction._

"_You do not live in a bar." Bit back in exasperation. "No one lives in a bar." Uhura shook her head as if she were talking to a simpleton. _

"_I don't live in the bar. I live above the bar. In an apartment. ABOVE the bar." Spock looked to his captain his lip twitching into dangerous territory. _

"_I believe she clarified her statement rather well, Captain." Again Uhura graced Spock with a most brilliant smile. An older man in a dirty apron slammed the door behind him as he approached the group. Uhura's smile dimmed at his approach. His hair speckled with gray was cut close to his head. Currently he was scratching the top of his head as he looked to Uhura in resigned disappointment. _

"_Little Nyota what have you done this time?" Before she could explain her uncle continued his tirade. " Have you no shame? No compassion for your poor uncle. You give me so much worry."_

"_I'm sorry Uncle." Uhura's voice a whisper as she dropped her head. Pike lost his agitation as he clearly felt Nyota's shame, turning toward Spock he felt the awkwardness that shone so clearly on the young lieutenant face. _

"_No worries. We appreciated the help this cadet in training gave us." Hanori's eyes popped up at this statement made by the Captain. "Wasn't she?" Pike asked Spock to back him up, but Spock found words to collaborate on the boarder of lying and preferred to remain quiet. Uhura looked from each of the adults not quite following the conversation, but sensing a change of emotion. _

"_Not quite believing the Starfleet personnel, he turned to his young charge, "In the house now. You will do the dishes you left last night and clean the apartment, before I choose your punishment for skipping school this morning." Uhura stepped back before she ran inside the front entrance of the bar. Hanori turned back to the gentlemen, thanking them under his breath before making his way into the bar. _

_Pike looked at Spock ready to flag down another hovertaxi not sure one would be available in this neighborhood, when Spock spoke up._

"_Mr Hanori, are you aware that your niece is quite gifted in linguistics." Hanori stopped and turned back to the lieutenant wariness in his eyes. "Nyota is able to replicate the most minute syntax with original inflection. Indeed it is hard to distinguish from authentic dialectic adaptation."_

_Hanori shook his head, not sure of the meaning the Vulcan was trying to deliver. "You saying she is good with language."_

"_Indeed. She could find her talent a valuable asset in pursuing a Starfleet career." At Spock's statement, Hanori waved his hand in negation. _

"_Starfleet bahhh... I dont' want to hear about Starfleet." Hanori turned back toward the bar. Spock moved forward. _

"_Is there something that you find offensive with a Starfleet career?" Spock asked for clarification, not understanding his disdain, only too familiar with family disapproval. _

"_What has it done for her? Starfleet took her parents, took my brother and sister-in-law. Starfleet killed them. Tore up my family." _

"_Sir obviously you have issues, but there is so much opportunity at the academy, careers that can open up her world." Pike tried to help, but clearly Hanori had had enough. He slammed the door closing the discussion._

_Uhura crept around the building sure to stay out of the sight of the bay windows. _

"_Thank you for taking me home." Pike and Spock nodded their heads in acknowledgment. She dared to peek up and the need for acceptance bleak in her eyes. "Did you mean what you said?" Neither one asked for clarification on her question. _

"_Yes we did. You have talent Nyota. You can be anything you want to be." Pikes words did not hold as much value as the Vulcan standing next to him. Vulcans do not lie. She turned to Spock. The same need for acceptance shining from her glassy eyes. Acknowledging that tears were sure to follow Spock spoke up._

"_Vulcans do not lie. I have not heard such clear unaccented dialect and syntax. From any human that I have of acquaintance. You have a talent. A talent that should be cultivated. With a Starfleet education, you would have the ability to choose a very satisfying career." Taking out a halo that he noticed she was infatuated with on the table, Spock placed it in her hand. _

"_The universe is infinite. There are many mysteries that have not been explored. Starfleet needs personnel that can ask the right questions, before the answers can be found." Uhura watched the halo, mesmerized with the images of infinite stars, worlds, their light carving into the darkness. She could swear that they were calling her name. Her smile was brighter than any image projected from the frame that she held in her hand. It dimmed slightly as reality settled in. Trying to hand the halo back to the lieutenant she replied._

"_Well the academy is out. We can't afford the tuition." Spock braced himself and closed his hand around hers pushing the halo back to her. _

"_There are other options." Pike piped up to join in the conversation._

"_There are scholarships. Grants. There are lots of options." Uhura's eyes bobbed back from one to the other, hope making a timid return to her eyes. With a grateful yes she squealed and ran around the building, but paused to thank Spock for the halo and disappeared from view. _

"_You know that wasn't one of the halos that we were supposed to give away." Pike reminded Spock as they headed for the curb. Spock shrugged, not too concerned as he turned over the last conversation over in his head. _

"_It is never too early to reference scholarships." Pike turned toward his lieutenant with speculation. _

"_Is this conversation going somewhere lieutenant?" Pike asked knowing full well that Spock did not start meaningless small talk. _

"_She will need guidance to find the adequate funding for a full academic career. Guidance she will not get from her uncle." Pikes head was running with it. _

"_Right with you Spock. Maybe there is a specific, a very specific scholarship that the right people need to make her aware of." Spock's turn to look to the captain, not sure where the conversation twisted. Pike poked the lieutenant "Come on Spock you know "the" scholarship... The Starfleet ...Memorial Service Scholarship." Spock speculated for 7.2 seconds before he gave up and asked his captain._

"_The Starfleet Memorial Service Scholarship? I am not familiar with this particular scholarship." Pike interrupted._

"_Sure you are. Spock !…. the Starfleet Memorial.. Come on work with me." Exasperated, he turned away and took a deep breath. _

"_Who is the benefactor..." Pike poked him in the chest. Spock momentarily distracted by his Captains lapse in protocol. That was twice in 1.3 minutes. _

"_We are Spock, we are, God sometimes you are so obtuse. We chip in and let her guidance counelors in on it. They give it to her and she is set. We have a few years to get it together. I am sure that we can get others to chip in. Think about Spock, you will be enabling someone to reach for their dreams." Spock for once was struck with the possibilities. _

**Thank you for the reviews I appreciate the constructive feedback.**


	3. Chapter 3 Course Change

Course Change

The blinking light pulled his eyes to the fringes of consciousness, where he was awakening from his meditative state. It had been 4.34 hours since he entered his quarters. His mind and body under control once more, Spock moved to his comm.

There was one message blinking. Considering the circumstances of the this morning, the probability that his message to contact the Captain and the favorable outcome, that he would have received it, and was able to respond in this short amount of time was ….. Spock stopped his mental calculations. He noticed his heart had rate accelerated with an increase of 40 percent, his respiration increased ….again he stopped the mental calculations, so instinctive as if imbedded into hybrid DNA design of his makeup. Air squeezed through his clenched lungs. His hands tightened their hold on the chair in front of the comm, the metal screeching in protest.

Mentally he berated himself. There was no reason to exhibit the appearance of anxiety. Indicators increasing, running rampant in his body. The message _was _or _was not _from Christopher Pike. The only way to ascertain was to answer the call. Looking away from the teasing light of the comm, Spock took a deep calming breath, meditative images replaced the room in his mind. He was in control. Heart rate slowed. Respiration evened. Breathing in no longer induced pain. Slowly he pulled the chair back and sat down in front of the comm and keyed in the sequence that brought the message up on the view screen.

Christopher Pike's concerned visage appeared on the screen before him.

"Spock, I don't know exactly what you have gotten yourself into, but it is better to say as little as possible in communications. Do not leave your apartment. _Do not_ talk to anyone. I am bringing someone to help with this situation. Don't worry. I am heading back from my latest recruitment assignment this morning and should be there sometime today. It's going to be alright. The screen froze on Pike's less than reassuring smile. However, Spock admitted to himself, that it did offer some comfort, knowing that his Captain would be there. This past two years he had missed having him close to defer to. The academic campus, for being so vast and filled with so many various animated species, Spock had felt apart, a spectator so to speak, always observing, yet hardly an active participant.

On board the USS Dreadnaught, Spock had found his place amongst the crew. Although, describing it as a family atmosphere would be stretching the term, Spock felt an active member, with legitimate contributions. Here at the campus, it had taken the full two years, privately indulging in the colloquial term "_to feel comfortable in his position". _

Spock moved from his seat to pace the living room. Still in the two years, since he had assumed the position of instructor, he realized that, when it came time to seek council on this unlikely situation, he was hard pressed to come up with a name or comm address to engage for assistance. He knew whom he wanted to contact but the Admiral's dire warning, that kept echoing in his head, prevented him from following through on his instinct. He wondered what she was thinking at this moment. What she was told? She had Gaia with her. Spock took comfort in knowing she was not alone. But he wished...

He forced himself to stop speculating on events impossible to come to fruition, as he focused his attention on the view of the open window. Looking out, he thought back to another day, when he was before a very different board, but still the outcome of their findings drastically altered his life. Taking him in a direction he had not planned for.

_Dr. Boyce sat next to Yeoman Piper on the hard metal bench in front of the closed door of the conference room, both looking particularly uncomfortable. Spock stood to the left of them, composed, as if the last three hours they had not been in the same position. Number One was pacing down the hall, her nervous energy an endless supply. _

"_How much longer is this going to take?" For the 27th time Doc asked, pulling at the collar of his dress uniform. Since the question was not directed to anyone in particular, it went unanswered. "What could they possibly have to say after three hours?" Again no one bothered to answer. For two weeks, the USS Dreadnaught had been docked while the bridge crew was debriefed. It had been grueling for the ones involved. Spock was surprised at Starfleets position it was taking, their interest in the Talosians. Clearly, their ability to read and control thoughts was a threat so great, that they should be avoided at all costs. Yet, the admiral board's position was clear. They wanted more contact. They wanted to negotiate with them and they wanted Pike to lead it. _

_Number One appeared before them. "Remember what the Captain said. Talos IV under no circumstances, should be recommended for further exploration. Contact should be avoided at all cost. Spock wondered at her reminders. Obviously, they were well versed in their united stand. Two weeks had given them the rudimentary "practice" so to speak. _

_The double doors opened, banging into the walls with the force used by the man, who burst through them. No one needed to ask their captain how it went. The anger and disgust carved into the lines on his face were plain enough a blind man could read them. Although it did not show on his crafted expressionless features, Spock felt a twinge of alarm at the violent emotions as they played across the older man's face. Pike had become jaded as well as stoic as the board continually refused to back down on their agenda. This change did not bode well for the situation. _

_Pike looked back at his crew. Men and women that he would have placed the safety of his life in their hands any day of the week. And had many times. He looked at their expectant faces. The board had given him the responsibility to alert them of their new status and positions, the cowards. Splitting them up, and in his own case punishing them with demotional positions. Thinking over all the possible ways he could express himself, in the best possible light, he made a management's decision._

"_I need a drink." …..._

"_So let me get this straight. The USS Dreadnaught is in Captain Crusher's hands. And that they are headed to the alpha quadrant at this moment to negotiate with the bubble heads, hoping to tap into the Talsians mental talent." Number One leaned forward into Pike's face, fumes singing his eyebrows with the Romulan ale's potent brew. Pike could not help but smile at his 1st in command. Formal 1st in command, he reminded himself. Normally so confident and in charge of her herself, was an adorable drunk. _

"_Yes, that about covers it. Bubble heads and all." Spock quietly sat at Pike's table taking in the whole situation. The possible ramifications were staggering. Pike tipped the almost empty bottle of amber liquid towards Spock's still full glass. Shaking his head minutely, Pike turned toward the Doc next. The ladies obviously had more than their share. _

"_I just got on the Dreadnaught, I hate to have to start all over again." Yeoman Piper whined daintily, before tipping her whole glass up and over and emptying it in one large audible gulp. Slamming the glass down she slapped the table to control the flow of firery ale to its finial destination. "I am going back to pack." She stood unsteadily to her feet, then as realization set in she angrily announced, "Well hell I can't, they stole my stuff when the Dreadnaught took off." Her pixie face fell into despair, "All I have is a couple of spare clothes in the dorm room they booked me in for the debriefing. Ahhh hell." She repeated as she continued to wobble on her unsteady feet. Her pixie face framed by her spiked cut red hair. Blowing away a few strands that ran dangerously close to her mouth._

"_Do you want to stay here?" Pike asked as Number one placed her head on the table and softly hummed to herself. The girls could both bunk in his bedroom and he could take the couch. Cramped but doable. _

"_No, I'll just go back to the dorm. I have to check up on my new orders anyway." Doc stood up and offered to escort her to her door. Always the gentleman. Spock and Pike stood up as the two made their farewells, Spock realizing this may the last time that he would see them all together. Some unusual emotion pulled in his chest, as he found himself at a loss for words. As they stumbled to the door, Pike leaned down and whispered something into Number one's ear. She raised her head only enough to smile back and whisper "Promises, promises," before it dropped back down to the table._

_Pike carefully placed his arm underneath her legs and lifted her up, cradling her to his chest. "Open the bedroom door for me Spock." The commander did as he was bid. Christopher laid out the 1st in command. Pulling off her boots and letting them fall to the ground, she sighed in contentment, and then turned to her side, tucking her clasped hands to her cheek. Pike could not resist combing back her hair and placing a chaste kiss to her temple before rising up and making his way to the bedroom's entrance. However uncomfortable with the whole exchange, Spock failed to drop his eyes, caught up in his Captains obvious regard for Number One. Pike met his steady gaze with his own. _

_There was no need to hide that there was an emotional attachment between the two officers any longer. Neither were they under direct command, nor were they serving together. Spock's face held no reprimand, nor any judgment of any kind, just a questioning curiosity. Honestly, he thought that everyone had their suspicions. Sometimes Pike forgot how clueless his Science officer could be at picking up on emotional signals. _

"_Come on Spock, I think I have a little Southern Comfort to spare." Pike said as he familiarly put his arm around the Vulcan's shoulders and led him back to the living room. Spock declined the drink, pointing to his filled glass of Romulan ale still sitting at the table. Motioning to the couch, Pike collected the Jack Daniels bottle, Spock's glass, and his empty one and then fell back into the cushions _

_Spock collected his glass and hesitantly placed it on the coffee table. Sitting back his posture perfect, he regarded his Captain. "You have told us that we are being transferred. Yet you failed to tell us where you have been assigned. I assume you will not be on the same ship as Number One." _

"_You assume? Pike repeated, as he filled his glass and took a healthy gulp. Tilting his head in feeling the slow burn as it trickled down his throat. _

"_In regard to your blatant expression of attachment for Number One." Pike's head jerked back at Spocks assessment. _

"_Spock it was a peck. I wouldn't call that blatant." He started to say something else, but changed his mind. Then changed his mind again. "Spock, in the last 8 years that I have served with you, I have never seen you …," Pike paused, trying to phrase this as delicately as he could for the Vulcan's sensitive ears. "Expressing attachment to any particular person of the opposite sex." Pike raised his eyebrows, Spock assumed to add non verbally, to the impertinent statement, to what he could only guess. Since the statement only clarified the Captains own observation, and an accurate one at that, Spock remained silent. "Spill Spock." _

"_To what do you refer to sir, and I assume you do not mean your prized Romulan ale." Pike rolled his shoulders, sure that his science officer was deliberately being obtrusive._

"_You know damn well what I mean Spock. I know that Vulcans are famous for their superior control, but come on ….. don't you ever...let go?" Spock broke eye contact first. Suppressing the urge to voice irritation at the blunt questions asked of a very personal nature, quite intrusive and somewhat vulgar. Instinct was to ignore, to disseminate from the situation, however he gave some leeway to his captain's insufferable habit of over familiarity with his crew. If he sometimes overstepped his bounds, it was in his concern for their overall well being. Even if he was being as Doc would say "a real pain in the ass about it". _

"_Captain, ..." Spock paused, Trying to find balance of answering his Captain with truth and not divulging in matters so ingrained in his private introvertive culture. He picked up the glass of ale and took a minute sip. "Captain, expressions of attachment for my race are a private nature and are not communicated with any degree of levity. It is simply not discussed." When it appeared that he would not elaborate, Pike started to apology, but Spock continued still looking at the amber liquid, as if finding courage in crystal topaz depths, his voice softer in its inflection, causing Pike to lean forward. _

"_Vulcans do not …. indulge in numerous encounters for the explicit reason of feelings. We do not...experiment. Marriage is arranged at a very young age. It is logical." Pike waited, but it looked like this was all he was going to get on the subject. After another moment, he pried a little further._

"_So you have a … you are married." Spock looked up from his drink and corrected his captain's assumption._

"_Betrothed... Yes, betrothed and yet more than betrothed. We completed Kan-telan when I was seven." Pike interrupted by echoing Spock's age in wonder and disbelief. "Yes, seven. It is a common age for the ceremony to be performed. Pike clearly interested in this alien concept adjusted his seat to look directly at his science officer. _

"_And how long are you to be engaged? Is there a wedding date?" Spock held in his sigh, obviously, he over estimated his Captain's audacity. _

"_It will be determined at a later date." Pike repeated his statement as a question._

"_Determined, how?"_

"_Captain there are certain...factors..." Spock looked directly in his Captains eyes, as close to pleading as his emotionless expression could articulate. "Captain I would appreciate some reserve on your part. It is difficult for me to discuss something so private of my culture so openly. I would that you respect my wishes and hold your curiosity. Pike blinked, he really had more insight to the Vulcan's psyche this evening, than he had in the last 8 years. _

"_Ok, Spock. Ok, you win. Conversation over." Pike took a long drink of Jack and slouched back into the cushions of the couch, resting his feet on the coffee table, he covered his eyes with one hand and took a deep, tired breath that said volumes on the man's state of mind. Clearly ready for a conversation change, Spock asked of his Captains new ship assignment. _

"_Oh I do not have a ship at this time. No... I have been assigned recruitment duty." Spock was not able to school his features completely and his brown eyes widen at his shock, that the board would seek retribution in this way. To sacrifice a seasoned Captain with his expertise in such a worthless way was outside his scope of thought. Pike lowered his arm."Yes, for an undisclosed time I will be administrator to the domestic recruitment of Starfleet. I am hanging up my wings to become a desk jockey. I don't even have the pleasure of recruiting off world." This was said in disgust. Then he paused in reflection. " I don't know... maybe it is for the best." Spocks expression of objection made Pike elaborate. "I... am ... tired. Tired of the bull shit. Tired of bureaucratic tape." Pike looked at Spock and confessed._

"_Spock Starfleet is not the beauty she used to be. When I started my career I was hypnotized by her glitter. It has become a tarnished weight on my shoulders. We had ideals and standards. We had aspirations for greatness. Now they want power... I can't justify it anymore." Pike took a deep breath then downed another quarter of his glass. Spock still as a statue, assimilated the Captains monologue. _

"_Maybe, I can make a difference on the front. If I can recruit the right people, maybe, just maybe we can change the organization from the inside out." Pike let out a chuckle, causing Spock to raise his eyebrow, wondering if the Captain had reached his limit, looking at the bottle on the table, in more ways than one. _

"_Speaking of the right people, how is our little prodigy doing?" Pike asked, knowing that the science officer was keeping a close watch on her and communicating her progress to the rest of the crew that had adopted their little project. _

_Spock did not need any elaboration on whom Christopher was referring to, "Ms. Uhura has completed her secondary education with high honors. She has a solid foundation to enter Starfleet. She will be more than adequately prepared for any academic career challenge." Pike thought Spock's tone came off like a proud papa spouting rhetoric on his prodigal daughter._

"_Well, that sounds wonderful. I would hate to think that seven years of Poker winnings were being wasted." Pike still could not believe how a hair brain scheme, designed on a whim could escalate to a thriving concept. The crew backed up the memorial fund by donating their weekly poker game winnings. Word of mouth spread throughout the fleet. Amateur tournament place settings were sought out as a high commodity, all on the hush hush of course due to gambling being a starfleet violation. Captains turned their heads, many of them secret participants. There was enough money in the fund for her whole 4 year tuition as well as books and other incidentals. "I am sure that she will make us proud."_

"_Indeed." Spock thought of the graduation ceremony he was able to attend, thanks to the debriefing. Although he would not admit it to the Captain, he secretly took pride in Nyota's determination to succeed, excelling in all of her classes, as well as taking on all of the extra credit courses that Spock anonymously donated to the school's xenolinguistics department. By the time she had graduated she had the basic rudimentary syntax of 12 non standard languages and mastery of 5._

_Spock did not have the intention to reveal himself at the ceremony, only to watch from a distance. But when he was approached by the guidance counselor, whom had spotted him in the audience, he had no choice but to follow her to Nyota's side, for introductions. He also would not admit that he was so surprised at how articulate and intelligent she had become. The girl he expected to see get her diploma was in direct conflict with the woman who stood before him. However illogical the thought that she would be the same, he was still was caught surprised. Nyota had grown up. Spock looked up at the change in Pike's inflection. Spock had been caught woolgathering. _

"_I said we have been summoned by admiral's board again." Pike flipped his communicator. I wonder what they possibly have left to say. I'll go wake Number One." …..._

"_At 15:00 hours the USS Dreadnaught orbited Talos IV to engage in negotiations. We lost communication approximately thirty minutes later. This communication was intercepted shortly after. Spock and Pike leaned forward, their faces reflecting their shock at the image of the leaders of the Talosian government. Two weeks had past, but Pike's skin crawled at their likeness on the comm screen as if they could reach through the distance and take control of his thoughts again. _

"_Captain Pike's failure to communicate our directive has left us with no alternative but to demonstrate our intent, if you continue to ignore our warning. Suddenly the screen was filled with vision of the Dreadnaught as it made its collision course with Talos IV. The explosion it made obliterated the picture of the screen with blinding light. 600 lives...lost. Once again the screen was filled with Talosian's distorted head. _

"_We will be forced to retaliate if you continue to interfere." The screen went black at the end of the transmission. _

_Pike's vision clouded at the realization of the destruction he had just witnessed. Needless loss of life. Gripping the arms of his chair, he resisted the need to rise up and strike down the Admirals in front of them. The blood of all those people were on their hands. Pike turned to Spock seeking strength from his endless supply of rational calm, surprised to see him mirroring his stance, the arm rest straining under the pressure of the Vulcan's hands. _

"_Under the circumstances this board invokes Starfleet standard 7. The fourth planet in the Talos system, in the alpha quadrant is in quarantine and will be forbidden to approach. Failure to comply with Standard 7 will be penalty of death. Also invoked is the classified status on all materials concerning Talos IV and its inhabitants. Any communication regarding Talos IV will be in direct violation and punishable by Starfleet Law. Failure to comply will be automatic court martial. Do you understand?" Pike feared if he responded, it would be automatic court martial. The others replied in subdued tones, still apparently in shock at the massacre that they were witness to. _

"_Also under the circumstances, you will report to your new posts effective immediately." The admirals stood up in dismissal. Spock was the 1st to stand. _

"_Admiral's I ask for an accommodation in the current orders regarding my transfer to the USS Fairway." Admiral Mendez paused at the Vulcan's request. _

"_What is the manner of your request?" Spock composed himself, no one aware of the turmoil that was boiling under the surface of his passive face. The prior conversation that he had with Pike in his quarters, less than one hour ago, played over in his mind. It's reflection so different in the present circumstance, to change it's meaning was as changing his own destiny. A burning need to change his direction, felt only once before, when he stood in front of the Vulcan board, awaiting his fate for the Vulcan Science Academy. The other crew members silent in their realization that something big was about to go down. _

"_Admirals I request a stateside assignment." The board's hushed voices played over the acoustics of the room._

"_Are we to understand that you are refusing the USS Fairway. On what reason?"_

"_Admiral Mendez I request a possible teaching position at Starfleet in reflection of my current career role." The admiral referred again to the board, not realizing his excellent hearing afforded him the ability to hear their whole conversation. He knew he was given the accommodation before mendez turned back to the front. _

"_Commander Spock, it is well known that you have been approached by the academic committee for the last 5 years of possible placement, but you have continually refused. We ask you why the change in your precedent."_

_Under control of his irrational anger , with the one exception of his fist clenched behind his back, cluing his colleagues in his emotional position, Spock chose to hide by putting on his culture's mask that so many utilized to explain when meaning was not immediately clear. "It is the logical course." _

"_Very well, there are several positions available that could use your expertise. You would be a valuable asset on the board of administrators."_

_Spock did not want their empty praise. He wanted to clear the room and the vision of 600 lives needlessly silenced due to rash decisions, made by people so removed from the ones that they govern. But maybe Pike was right. Change the organization from the inside out. The people could make the difference, if they were guided by the right people. _

The door chimed, breaking Spock from the past. Moving swiftly to the door he was greeted by Pike and a tall thin man with a brilliant smile and portable case of rich mahogany vinyl. Pike patted Spock on the back in sympathy. Spock braced himself for the impact. He admitted to himself, he felt relief, just in knowing Pike was there for him.

"Spock this is Matthias. He is the best council on the East Cost. Non Starfleet, but still damn good." Matthias held out his hand to greet the Vulcan, obviously not versed with general customs of his home world. If he was inclined for premonitions, he would fear for his fate, but he was not, he told himself. After a moment Matthias dropped his hand, his smile dimming just a bit.

"Good afternoon, I took the liberty of filing the official forms while in transit, and received the official charges and preliminary list of witnesses for the prosecution. We might want to order dinner in because it's going to be a long night. Might as well get started."


	4. Chapter 4 Devil's Advocate

**Devil's Advocate**

Matthias opened his antiquated brief case and pulled out a sophisticated PADD and scrolled through a few documents. Spock waited, his features schooled in patience, mentally focusing on his meditative exercises. Pike drummed his fingers on the table, a nervous tick that drove his bridge crew to distraction. The councilman whispered to himself, causing Spock to turn his attention to the other gentleman. The hushed conversation really did not make sense, just a string of words put together, but had no context. Spock looked to Pike, wondering if he had made a miscalculation in deferring to Pike's selection of the councilman. Matthias stopped abruptly, and smiled at the two men at the table.

"Well, the first myth of the famous Vulcan race has been verified as fact. You have impressive oratory facilities." Spock made no response to the compliment. "I just wondered if it would be as effective, being who you are." He addressed the comment to Spock, but his eyes fixed on Christopher , as if evaluating the older man's reaction.

"At this time I must ask that Chris leave the room, preferably the apartment." Pike protested, but Matthias turned to Spock his full focus on the man, his eyes intent in calculation.

"Mr. Spock, I want to help you, but in order to do that I am going to have to have open communication. You have to be honest with me. There may be things that are not public, things that you might not want out in the open." Spock looked back to the councilor, his facial features giving nothing away, to what the Vulcan was thinking.

"Maybe he's right Spock. I better go." Spock raised his hand, as if to touch his captain to stay him, but he dropped it before contact was actually made. However, Chris took it to mean, to wait and paused not quite standing up and not sitting down, waiting for Spock to speak.

"I find it beneficial for me to have Captain Pike present. His reason and insight has always been sound, has guided me in the past, and I value his judgment." Turning to Pike he reiterated, "please stay." Matthias nodded once in acquiescence, although his expression was clearly not in agreement.

"Very well. First let me acquaint you with my credentials. I received my BA from Columbia and completed my SJD at Yale. Since completing the Bar, I have had a 96 percent successful track record. In a nutshell, I love what I do and I hate to lose. I can provide professional references should you need more information." Matthias' statement ended as a question as he raised his shoulders as if asking for confirmation. Spock tilted his head in acquiescence.

Nodding his head, the councilman proceeded. "Although, I have only just joined this case today, I have great resources at my disposal and want to put all of the cards on the table. "Do you still require Chris to be present?" Again Spock tilted his head, his face void of expression. Matthias sighed and then pulled out sheets of paper, various sizes and upon closer inspection, recognized a couple of napkins and paper place mats found on diner tables. The other man smiled sheepishly and replied to Spock's lifted eyebrow, "unconventional method of record keeping, I know, but it works for me." His smile disappeared as he studied his notes.

"Right then, you grew up with the usual Vulcan culture enriched environment, despite being the 1st successful Vulcan-Human hybrid, known to survive." Pike's eyes rounded in astonishment. In all of the years that he had known his former science officer, he had not been aware that he was anything but a full blooded Vulcan.

Matthias continued his debriefing, "Being the son of the Vulcan ambassador to Earth, must have opened a lot of doors for you, yet your intelligence and compulsion to master every task, put you at the top of your academic career. Indeed, you were accepted at Vulcan Science Academy, a high and privileged honor, yet you turned it down to join Starfleet, by attending the Academy here.

Your pertinacity to be on top of all academic records continued with the highest grade point average, that has not been met today. Graduation 2 years early, you entered the service as a lieutenant commander. Exemplary record, with just one said blemish. No hint of scandal or censure. You are married, with no children. I stated this information because it is pertinent. It is their job to discredit you, and they will do so by attacking your character.

Pike stared at Spock, still digesting that he _was half human, _and that his dad was the Vulcan ambassador to Earth. Matthias' words on Spock's marital state caused him to drop his mouth, then he remembered the betrothal thing. That had to be it, but before he could comment, Spock spoke up first.

"A couple of things councilman. What blemish are you referring to on my record?" Spock questioned, no offense leaked in his tone, only curiosity.

"There is a blank spot dealing with a routine assignment to a M class planet in the alpha quadrant. Blank spots on records usually indicate one of two things, that a violation of some sort has occurred, on your part that Starfleet feels the need to bury, or Starfleet has done the violating, and it is in their best interest to cover it up. Either way it opens up speculation on the integrity of your character." Pike popped up with, "Well, one thing Spock has is character, everyone thinks that he is above reproach."

"Well Captain, obviously, there is someone, or someones unknown, that do not agree, hence this hearing. Care to comment Spock?"

Spock and Pike exchanged glances, remembering the _incident_ and the orders of non-disclosure and the penalties tied to it. There was good reason there were blank spots in his record, but penalty of death kept him from commenting. "There will be no reason to elaborate on the issue."

"But if the prosecution chooses to go down this course, we will need to have a defense..." Spock interjected, Matthias clearly agitated.

"The prosecution will _not follow that course_, they are under the same restrictions as I am. Failure to comply is not an option." Matthias stared at Spock, he could see the wheels turning in the councilman's mind, as he turned over the statements, and all of the sub-context that was said between the lines. _Obviously there was some type of gag order. If the prosecution was held to the same restrictions, there was no need to run down that road._ Sighing, Matthias let that one go. Turning back to Spock, the councilman asked, "you said a couple of things..."

"You said that I was married. However, that is an inaccurate statement." Matthias turned back to his notes, irritated that his research may have been inaccurate, hence weakening his defense. No there was clear record in the Vulcan archives of a _Kan-Telan taking place in Shi'kahr in 2237. 2237? He was only ...7. _Matthias looked up, "Did you not participate in a Kan-Telan on stardate 2237 in your hometown?" Spock forced himself not to wince at the councilman's mutilation of his native tongue and answered the man's question.

"Yes I was a participant of the ceremony, but the term to be more accurate would be a betrothal than an actual wedding. The Kun-ut Kali-fi is the actual wedding ceremony, which has not taken place." While Matthias was rewriting his notes, Pike looked back to Spoke as he continued, "However, the betrothal is no longer valid."

"Since when?" Pike asked, stunned.

"187.4 days ago." Spock replied, in his usual time precision-ed way. The councilman waited for further explanation, that did not come. Before he could extract a clarification, Matthias' communicator broke through the conversation. Looking at the view screen, he commented, "I need to take this, is there somewhere that I can talk in private?" Spock indicated the door to the bedroom. He stood up and collected his papers and briefcase to move to the other room.

"What happened? You broke off your engagement?" Pike was confused. He was also surprised that he knew so little of his formal science officer and future 1st in command. His punishment was about to be lifted. Since Admiral Mendez's promotion to Commandant of the Academy, Pike's promotion to Captain was to be reinstated. His next post was to be the Captain of the newly commissioned Enterprise, which maiden's voyage was to be in a year or so. He was excited to be off of the recruiting circuit, and to be up in space again. Since Muriel was not available for the Number One spot, Pike could not think of anyone else that he would want to fill the position. But now he was not so sure of anything. _What else did he not know?_

Spock got up from the table, his eyes not meeting his friend's as he replied. "It was a logical course of action. The betrothal was not a feasible option at this time." Spock locked eyes with Chris. He paused, but Pike was sure he was about to say something, seeming to change his mind, something that Pike had rarely seen him do. Spock was always so damn sure of what he was thinking and saying, to see him this unsettled was another surprise of the day. Pike's communicator went off. Irritated at the interruption, he ignored it and motioned for Spock to continue, but the commander turned his back as he made for the window.

Jerking his communicator open he listened to the man on the other end. He tried to interject a couple of times, but the lieutenant was adamant that Pike understood the severity of the problem. Their recruit cruiser apparently had a coolant problem, that wasn't going to fix itself, and the ship dock was not going to repair without the proper authorization. Pike hated bureaucratic crap.

"Spock I have to go. I will try to get back as soon as possible." The commander looked back to him and nodded his head in understanding, still Pike hesitated. He had not had a chance to talk to him, really talk to him and felt guilty leaving him here alone with Matthias. But duty called. "If you need anything, just call me." Pike left and the room fell into silence. Spock looked back to the window, below were of the buildings of the campus and the grassy knoll, that had a beautiful view of the Golden Gate Bridge, but he

saw none of it.

Once again he felt his calm demeanor slipping. Spock had not had this much difficulty controlling his emotions, since he was an adolescent. He knew it was irrational, but he knew if he could just talk with Nyota that it would be... right somehow. There was something definitely not right, but he could not understand and no amount of computation would complete the equation. _When did this happen? When did his world start to crumble? Two years ago, when he stepped into the instructor role, he had no idea that his path would lead him to this impasse. And he thought he had it difficult then. Time seemed to disappear as his mind went back to that fateful day._

_Spock's normal sedate pace was replaced with determination as his boots clicked on the stone steps leading into the lecture hall. The instructor was late for his own class. Administrator Adkins was correct, he did need a student aide, but so far the candidates were less than adequate. What's more, the available ones were too timid to stay in the position for more than one week. The last one lasted one day._

_For the last six months, since he started teaching, he had tried. It was not that he was too hard on them. Indeed, he made a concerted effort to remain calm and not to let the slightest irritation at their ineptness show. He was sure of it. Spock was not quite sure what the problem was. But he had basically went through the aide pool to no avail. Spock stopped at the hall entrance and composed himself. It would not do to show how frazzled he felt at the situation. Calm . _

_As he pushed opened one of the double doors, he was met with a cacophony of students, engaging in a range of topics, none on the current curriculum. Down the steps, he made his way to the lectern podium. Conversations ceased as his made the progression, eyes wide as the students noticed his presence. Keeping his eyes forward, he did not make eye contact. _

_Nyota was in her usual seat, her long ponytail bobbing as she read from her pad, one of the few students focused on her work. She was so studious. _

_She had taken two of his classes 1__st__ term. Top of both classes. Not once did she presume to take advantage of their acquaintance. Indeed, she rarely volunteered, but clearly knew all of the answers. She was advanced for the __other students. Obviously, she took the extra curricular materials, that he had donated to her school, to her advantage. _

_Another fact that he noted, she was not happy. She rarely smiled and she never laughed. Spock had a hard time recognizing the young girl in the woman she had grown up to be. What had caused the changes? He did not delve too deeply, why the change bothered his conscience so. As he made his way closer he noticed the other student trying to distract her. Unconsciously, his hands tightened on the PADD in his hand. _

_Charles Heinwick, Charlie to the students seemed to take pleasure in alternating, from insulting her, to trying to vie for her affection. Spock did not care for either. _

"_Come on Uhura, put down the PADD and talk to me." Nyota did not so much as blink at the other cadet, hoping that he would just take the hint. "It's not as if you could possibly have anything better to do. It's just a date."_

_Giving up any hope that he would take the hint, she turned her onyx eyes to the boy and said, "No thank you." As she lowered her head back to the PADD, Charlie clasped her arm._

"_Listen I'm just doing you a favor. I thought you would like a little time away from the bar, but maybe you like it a little too much." Just as Uhura tried to yank her arm back, Spock made it to her side._

"_Is this cadet bothering you Ms. Uhura?" Spock's voice although void of emotional overtones, it still held an ominous connotation, that made Charlie back up in his seat. Rubbing her arm, Uhura nodded her head negatively. Spock paused before them, not quite believing her answer, his eyes glued to the red spots forming, on her arm, where Charlie's fingers had dug into her flesh. Noticing his eye level she quickly lowered her arm and picked up her PADD. His view now blocked, Spock turned back to the other cadet, his eyes boring into him, in his usual unblinking stare, he did not resume his way to the podium until Charlie broke eye contact. _

_Three steps down, Spock heard Charlie whisper, " Time to get some sleep. Can this class get any more boring? Hey, Uhura, how about taking some notes for me?" A few students snickered under their breath. Spock continued at his unhurried pace. Pausing at the podium he rested his PADD on the desk, then turned to his audience, looking up from the Podium, he was met with total silence. Glancing once more toward Uhura, he saw her push Charlie back into his seat. Embarrassed to be caught, she lowered her head and busied herself with her PADD. _

"_We have been studying the Andorian Trade negotiations and the relevance_

_in diplomatic relations. Perhaps, an informal demonstration is in order." Spock's comment was met with deafening silence. Situation: You are moderating for the Federation, during a trade negotiation between a Tellerite and an Andorian of the trade caste system. You are asked to translate the following from Tellerite to Andorain. Spock looked up at the lecture hall, the students frozen in taboo. Slowly, a couple of hands rose but Spock's eyes were glued to Heinwick, who was not paying any particular attention to the front. _

"_Mr. Heinwick, if you would please stand up." Charlie's reflexes were slow to acknowledge the instructor and Spoke reiterated a bit more firmly, "Cadet Heinwick, If I am not boring you, I would like you to demonstrate the following scenario." Charlie self conscious, unsteadily rose to his feet. _

"_Sir?" Spock remained still waiting for Charlie to further comment, but the young man just stood there his face filled with question. Obviously he had only heard his name and none of the demonstration requirements before it. Not hiding his impatience at all, Spock let a small sigh escape from his throat as he placed his hands behind his back and paced before the podium. _

"_The scenario cadet, please translate from Tellerite to Andorian of the trade caste system, the following negotiation." Charlie swallowed the lump in his throat, missing the first sentence, punctuated with the usual brisk, if not somewhat crude language of the tellerite dilect, that Spock forced out in clipped tones. Three more sentences and the lecture hall broke into silence again. Although, his head did not move, his eyes glanced to Uhura, who __seemed to be holding her breath. Her eyes were bright and she held a small smile hiding in the corners of her mouth. Her head bobbed from Charlie to the front of the hall, locking on the instructor. Covering her mouth with her hand, as if in guilt?... she lowered it and it was as if she had removed any traces of humor in the motion. Odd, was she trying to hide her pleasure at seeing the cadet squirm from him? _

"_Commander Spock? Could …. could you repeat the … repeat what you said?" A few students snickered at Charlie's stuttering, but Spock looked to the hall, his eyes scanning the seats, and the sound disappeared. Turning back to Charlie, he repeated the phrases, word for word verbatim, this time a little slower, as if he were giving him another chance to redeem himself. _

"_You did complete the Tellerite course last semester,did you not, Cadet?" Spock asked, knowing full well that he not only took the course, that he had taught himself, but the student's grades reflected his lack of attention that he displayed in this class as well. _

"_Yes sir." Charlie closed his eyes and painstakingly translated the Tellerite to Andorian, word for word, phrase for phrase. Spock tried not to winch at the horrendous accent, and mutilation of the dialect. Not only did he incorrectly translate the missive but he had twisted the request for negotiation into something obscene. Before he could comment, a bell like ring of laughter echoed through the hall, causing everyone to turn to the cadet next to Charlie in awe and not a little fear for the her audacity. _

"_Cadet Uhura, would you care to comment on the Cadet's translation?" Spock had softened his tone when addressing Nyota, but still she cringed, the laughter draining from her face, to be replaced with horror at being caught. Disturbed by the about face she displayed, he asked her quietly to translate the negotiation properly. Quickly, she obeyed. Her syntax and structure perfect. Not only did she translate it correctly, but she used the proper sentence structure for the trade caste system, using the non fertile nouns and verbs. _

"_Excellent Cadet. Correct verbage, structure and syntax. An Andorian __would be hard pressed to differentiate you from a true native." Uhura glowed under her instructor's praise. Spock turned to Cadet Heinwick._

"_The cadet was probably embarrassed to comment on your attempt of the translation. Not only did you fail to negotiate for dilethum crystals, but implied in your sentence structure, to bribe me with the illegal trade of prostitution. In cannon terms, you suggested that we "Eeh peetheehaa ziikehaa" Mate out of the marriage union for dilethium crystals." _

_The comment was met with more snickers, the class bolder in mass numbers. Spock did not look up, giving them sufficient time to voice their enjoyment at the Cadet's expense. " Although, I am not an Andorian of the trade class myself, I would be certain that the suggestion would on the best of scenarios stopped the negotiation, and the worst scenario caused a international incident. I can assure you, that should that have been a real negotiation and not a scenario, the outcome could have met with catastrophic results." Charlie looked at his friends, anger and humiliation glowed from his glassy eyes. Spock, who was not phased at all, continued to critique his pupil._

" _I would suggest that you spend more time studying the course materials than on recreational pursuits in this class room." Spock's eyes glanced at Uhura who was hiding her expression behind her hand again._

_Face void of the satisfaction that he secretly felt, Spock dismissed the cadet by turning his back on Charlie,who still stood, his face flushed, hands clenched at his sides. Slowly he sat down as Spock requested the class to turn to their PADDS and focus on the day's lesson. _

"_Cadet Uhura, please see me." Nyota froze, in the process of collecting her things at the end of class. Several of the cadets glanced her way with sympathy, but none approached her, giving her a clear path to the front of the lecture hall. Timidly, she made to way til she was a couple of feet from her instructor. _

_Spock paused before he commented, "I want to reiterate that I was satisfied _

_with your translation. You have an exceptional grasp of the Andorian __syntax." Uhura's rigid stance wilted at the compliment. Indeed, Spock notated the worried lines on her face softened as he spoke. He was pleased that he was able to assure her that her progress was appreciated and the fright that haunted her expressive eyes was gone, however she did not show any other signs that she appreciated his comments. Indeed, in a grave tone she thanked him, her mouth set in a deadened expression, she then turned and started to make her way out of the hall. _

_Spock was confused with her reaction. Unusually, humans rarely held any restraint, when showered with compliments, and to his own estimation, this was probably the biggest compliment that he had given in his academic career so far. She seemed almost... disappointed? Could that be right? Had he done it...wrong? Clearly he needed more practice, but still... the reaction was unexpected. In a spurt of spontaneity that he was not accustomed to, Spock called her back. Uhura's back went ram rod straight at the interjection, before she turned back her expression hesitant. Not as hesitant as his however. _

_Now that he had called her back and had her right in front of him, he had no idea what he wanted to convey to her. He just did not feel comfortable with her reaction, nor the way that she had been acting the whole semester. He thought that this was her dream to attend the Academy. She should have exhibited a little more...enthusiasm. That was the word -enthusiasm about the situation, instead of this dead calm. Uhura looked up at him expectantly._

"_Would you please come to my office, for a moment. There is something I would like to …. discuss with you." Spock felt her eyes at his back the whole way to his office. Stepping into the office, he could not help but observe her reaction to the sterile environment. Except for the reference materials in one bookcase, and a table with a few PADDs on it, there was nothing of the owner's identity. Spock had always lived a spartan life, not collecting useless clutter. However, he had never felt self conscious about it before. He had never felt the need to explain the reason for it, but the way she was inspecting the barren room compelled him to. _

_Realizing that it was a foolish emotion, he buried it deep as he stepped __forward. Uhura stopped and waited patiently at the door. Spock tilted his head as inspiration had given him an idea. When his mother had the inclination to have one of her "talks", when the need overwhelmed her to be intrusive in his personal life, she would engage in the aged tradition of "tea time". _

"_Do you take tea?" Spock's question took the cadet by surprise. From the look on her face, she never would have guessed that he would have asked her something like that. "I have some of my Mother's special blend." Seeming to have lost her voice, she nodded in the affirmative. _

_Spock proceeded to pull out a china tea set from a cupboard. He then proceeded to prepare a pot the old fashioned way, only heating the water in the replicator. Uhura was spellbound as she watched him measure out the loose leaf tea into the diffuser, and set up the cups. Obviously, this was a ritual that he had great practice in. When he reached back into the cupboard to retrieve the sugar, she broke the silence. _

"_I didn't know that Vulcan had the same tea traditions that Earth has." Spock turned to her to see her shaking her head in disgust, whispering stupid, stupid, stupid, ….. but stopped at being caught. _

"_Vulcan does have its own traditions, but this one is clearly from my Mother's side of the family." Spock paused as he watched his words echo in the cadet's head. She looked up, the query in her eyes and Spock self consciously explained._

"_My mother is from your world. She brought a few of her traditions with her when she chose to live on Vulcan. This one has certain aesthetically pleasing properties." Spock commented as he motioned for her to take a seat at the table. "We have a few minutes while we wait for it to seep properly. I would like to take the time to ask you how you are finding your academic career so far." Again Uhura paused as she regained her train of thought. _

"_Excuse me, your mother is …. human? I'm sorry , I didn't mean..." Uhura's face flushed, realizing how intrusive her question was. Spock tried __to put her at ease._

"_Yes. Don't apologize. I am the one that volunteered the information." A little surprised himself that he did . As far as he knew no one on campus had the information. He chose not to examine this topic at this time, but instead nudged her back to his last question. "Your academic career?" _

_Uhura sat up straighter, and answered the way she thought he would want, "It is progressing along adequately." Spock's eyebrow raised at her statement. Somehow it came out ...wrong to his ears. He repeated._

"_Adequately?" She nodded, not elaborating. This was not going as smoothly as his Mother's talks usually did. Spock checked the brew and decided it had seeped enough. The variety of tea was a strong black tea mix that tended to become bitter if left too long. He carefully pored for the both of them, then handed her one cup. She examined the porcelain cup with interest. The delicate handle and rim was trimmed in gold, the dainty flowered pattern so out of place in the Vulcan's strong hands. The tea set was obviously also a part of this world. And Spock supplied the information as he motioned to her the sugar bowl. _

"_This set originally belonged to my earth grandmother." Uhura shook her head no, preferring to take her tea plain, but she noticed with amusement that her instructor took his with 3 heaping teaspoons. Spock had a sweet tooth. When Spock looked up, he was met with the first genuine smile that Uhura had bestowed upon him, since her graduation. It brightened the room, giving him the first indication that this "talk" was actually working. Realizing that he had missed her expressions of pleasure, seeing the little girl, he had met 7 years ago, he relaxed into his chair. Uhura's smile dropped to be replaced with astonishment, causing Spock to look around for the cause of her round about. _

"_Is something the matter Cadet?" Lowering her eyes, to the cup cradled in her hands, she shook her head no and then took a large sip of the steaming liquid. Tears filled her eyes as the heat blistered the roof of her mouth. "Are __you alright Nyota?" Spock asked with concern. He started to stand up, but she waved him back down, already getting herself under control. _

"_I'm alright, I just wasn't prepared for hot it was." _

"_Illogical, since I just pored the cup from the pot." Spock replied causing Uhura's mouth to twitch into an assembly of a smile. Lowering her head she had the bravery to add._

"_I didn't realize that Vulcans smiled." Spock looked at her, his eye brow raised above his hair line. _

"_Vulcans do not smile." He stated. Uhura shook her head affirmative as she added._

"_But you just smiled." Spock looked at her as if she were conversing in a language he had no knowledge of. _

"_I did not smile." He added a little emphatically. _

"_Yes you did," Spock shook his head in confusion. "You did just a minute ago. You put 3 teaspoons of sugar in your tea and looked up at me and smiled. Well, it might not pass as a full blown smile for the rest of us, but your lips were definitely were curved in the upright position." Spock non-pulsed, had no comment. He stared down at his cup for a moment before taking a hesitant sip. _

"_We will agree to disagree." He stated as he stared into the topaz liquid. _

"_What kind of agreement is that?" She asked, this day the strangest one she had ever had. _

"_My Mother's choice to end a discussion with an unattainable solution." Uhura sighed in exasperation. Spock studied his cup as he asked a personal question of his own. "Why do you not smile?" _

"_What?" Uhura asked too quickly. _

"_Nyota, you do not seem... happy. I seem to find it hard to recognize the young girl that I first met years ago, with the cadet that is sitting here with me. Is it the other cadets. I noticed the one bothering you." Uhura interrupted him._

"_Charlie? No, it isn't him. There will always be Charlie's that think they are better than everyone else. No, he doesn't really bother me." Uhura's easy dismissal of the other cadet made Spock pause. In his own experience, it had taken him years to come to the same conclusion, and not without a little strife in his life. His estimation of the young cadets character climbed to greater heights. If only he had her insight, it might have saved him quite a few needless fights._

_He looked back to Uhura to see her staring at him with incredulous astonishment again. Lowering his face he composed his features to neutrality. It had been several years since he had had such a lack of control. Composed he added, "Then that is not the problem. Have I … offended you in some way?" _

"_No." The word blunt and firm. Then she softened her voice and stated, " No, but I thought you didn't like emotions... I thought that it would be better if I controlled myself in class. I know you must think that it silly. It does sound ridiculous now. But I didn't want to embarrass myself."_

"_Nyota, it is not that I dislike emotions. I have no feelings for them at all. Emotions for Vulcans need to be controlled, or they control us. But you are not Vulcan. For you to deny your emotions, is to go against your physical make up. Indeed, not only is not beneficial, but detrimental to your overall health."_

"_So ultimately, you are saying Be True To Myself." She reiterated. Spock shook his head affirmatively. _

"_Precisely." Taking another sip, he had another inspiration. He must thank __his Mother for this tea tradition. Obviously, it did have inspirational properties that he was unaware of ."Nyota, would you consider a teacher's aid position. I realize that usually it is the 3__rd__ and 4__th__ year positions, but you have demonstrated a keen insight into the xeno phonology department. You are clearly years ahead of your fellow cadets. You would be an asset to the department...and to me." Uhura stood up in her excitement. _

"_Would I?" _

"_That is the question that I asked you." At her aggressive head shaking, he added. "I will talk to Administrator Adkins. I am sure he will see my reasoning, and allow the exception." Spock motioned to the tea pot and Uhura moved her cup closer for a refill. _

"Mr. Spock I am sorry I took so long. Where is Chris?" Matthias asked as his eyes scanned the room.

"He had to go, but said he would try to come back." Matthias asked him to join the table.

"OK, I have gone over the preliminary witnesses and can pretty much waive them. From their records they are crying sour grapes." From Spock's confused face, Matthias dropped the slang. "The witnesses show a lack of aptitude, in common sense as well as academics. Their claims that you are being unfair in their grades is ludicrous.

However, the charges of fraternization with Cadet Uhura has given me some concern. They have her down as a hostile witness. Basically, they think she will lie for you, and will treat her as such. In the same boat, she could possibly damage our defense if she comes off too ready to help you. Get my meaning?" Spock agreed, calm and detached. Matthias didn't like it. It was the quiet ones that exploded at the most inopportune times.

"Let me play Devil's Advocate for a moment. They are going to ask you questions, questions of a very personal nature. About you and the cadet. I need to know how you are going to respond. I need to know that they will not be able to push your buttons." Spock looked at him in confusion at the term. Again Matthias explained in plain English.

"Everyone has triggers, areas that elicit emotional responses...even Vulcans can be pushed." Matthias argued over Spock's apparent objection. "Ok, lets play." Matthias stood up to set the tone.

"Mr. Spock, how long have you known Cadet Nyota Uhura?" Spock spoke clearly 7 years 4 months 3 days..." Matthias interrupted.

"It might help the defense if you are not so precise in your calculation. It infers that she means more to you than she should. To help your defense just say seven years. 7 years? That long?" Matthias interrupted himself, not realizing this fact. He went back to his notes and made a notation.

"Yes, I and Christopher Pike met her at a recruiting drive … 7 years ago."

"She was a little young to enlist."

"Even then Cadet Uhura had a keen sense of curiosity." Matthias continued.

"The cadet has been your aid for 2 years now." Spock clarified.

"1.5 years." Well at least he did not add days and minutes, Matthias thought.

"Student and faculty have commented that you are closer to her than anyone else." Spock heard no question in the statement, therefore, he made no comment, his face void of any emotion. Matthias got closer to him.

"She is a very beautiful woman." Again Spock made no comment. "Young and eager to please. It would be so easy to assert your authority. She would be easy to manipulate. Promises of high grades and connections to high places, could be leverage to attain ...certain benefits." Spock looked up to the councilman, his demeanor bored at the his attempt to elicit an emotional response.

"Councilman, this is pointless, there is no evidence that I have done anything illegal. Her grades were made on her own merit. Any connections that she has , has been done on her own achievements." Matthias paced away from him, thinking of another tactic. There was always a trigger. Then he chose another course of action. Not moving closer, but started his strategy as he continued to pace.

"Maybe, it was the other way around. Uhura is a bright girl. Very bright. Maybe she saw an opportunity. A way to climb the ladder. To climb out of the gutter, where she came from." Spock's eye snapped to Matthias'. "Bar trash with aspirations of grandeur." Matthias satisfied that he cracked the Vulcan's storied calm, continued as he slowly advanced. "You were easy pickings. Did she awaken feelings that you thought you were incapable of feeling? Did she make you feel special? Spock broke eye contact, his face twisted as he tried to maintain control.

" Did she turn you on?" Matthias asked as he bent closer to try to regain the connection. He pressed harder. "What did she do? Did she raise that tiny skirt? Show a little skin?" Matthias did not miss the hands clenched at Spock's sides. "You probably didn't have to ask for it. She probably has had a lot of experience. Growing up in that bar, I'm sure she's sang for her supper before. Just a little slut..." The words were cut off, as was the very air that he was breathing. Matthias clutched at the hand that was wrapped around his throat. Spock's eyes were narrowed in hatred, inches from his own. Just as the gray dotes covered his fading vision, relief replaced the restriction at his throat.

As he cleared his eyes, he noted that Pike had returned, and he was not alone. Currently, Spock was in the corner, trying to get himself under control. Pike was trying to find out what had happened. There were three other gentlemen, Vulcan standing in the doorway, clear displeasure on their formidable faces.

Voice breaking in pain Matthias commented to Spock, "And that was the trigger that I was looking for. I hope to God that the prosecution does not have as much luck. My job is to keep them from discovering it. The Vulcans ignored the councilman and addressed Spock.

"Your presence is requested by the Vulcan embassy. You are to come with us." Spock, still not making eye contact with anyone, spoke with his back to them.

"My Father sent you?" The other Vulcan answered with clipped tones.

"The Vulcan council wishes you to be under the embassy's protection."

"So my Father had no say in this?" Clearly the Vulcans thought that the conversation needed no further clarification, and remained silent. Pike protested, explaining that this was in Starfleet jurisdiction and did not need any other publicity.

Spock turned toward them, but whatever he was going to say was cut off by Matthias.

"Spock, this may be for the best. No one else will be able to get to you there. Go and I will meet you there tomorrow. I need to interview a few of the witnesses." Spock's eyes held a warning that Matthias did not miss. "Go."


	5. Chapter 5 First Kiss

**First Kiss**

"Don't answer that." Gaila said, as she handed Uhura a cup of tea. The Comm went silent after a moment. It had been chiming constantly, since they made it to their dorm. Cradling the cup, absorbing it's warmth, Uhura took a long sip. She looked to her roommate in gratitude. Although they hadn't been the best of friends, basically keeping to themselves, she was surprised at her kindness. Uhura shouldn't have been. There were several perceived notions that she had to overcome with the Orion.

Gaila was not the sex craved, airhead that everyone who first encountered her assumed her to be. She was highly intelligent and analytical. However, with most people, with an IQ as high as hers, she also suffered from being naïve, and her naivete got her into the most ridiculous situations. But she was grateful for her interference today. She didn't know what she would have done, if she hadn't been there. _Probably would have stormed into the administrator's office and... and what? How could they just replace him like that? _

"Ok, it's time to come clean." Gaila sat down next her to. Uhura turned confused eyes on her, but the Orion was not buying it. Look, the word on the street is that the Commander has been accused of some pretty serious charges of exchanging grades for favors, extortion, and fraternization ." Uhura Protested emphatically.

"It's bogus! You know that is not true. Commander Spock doesn't have a dishonest bone in his body. No one could possibly believe such garbage!" Gaila was glad to see Uhura back to her feisty self. The constant waterworks was starting to worry her. And she really didn't want to ruin the mood, but there were definitely some things to discuss, unpleasant things, but it was necessary.

"True Mr. Spock's reputation in the past has been above reproach. Before this incident, there has not been a whisper, of any impropriety... other than..." Uhura's eyes narrowed at the Orion's hesitation.

"Other than what?" Gaila's eyes lowered her red eyelashes fanning her emerald complexion, at her roommate's tone. She hated confrontation, and maybe that was why she had not talked with Uhura before. Time was of the essence now, for his sake as well as her own. Taking a deep breath Gaila looked up at Uhura and continued.

"Well, it has been noticed that the commander does spend more time with you than anyone else." Uhura raised her shoulders as she scrunched her forehead in a gesture that said _so?!_

"I am his aid! And I have classes with him, of course I spend more time with him than any of the other students." Gaila shook her head in agreement her hand up in supplication. Uhura was going to just tune her out, if she remained so negative.

"I am on your side Uhura, remember. But he spends more time with you than anyone, including the faculty. No one would have said anything, before."

"What are they saying now?" Gaila placed her hand on Uhura's thigh in comfort.

"Officially, they have not made a statement. But that does not stop people from talking. And I don't know where they are getting their information, but talk is that the commander has been exchanging grades for favors. And that the two of you have been having an affair." Gaila looked to the other cadet, questions in her eyes. No condemnation, just a mild curiosity.

"And who are these people, that supposedly are getting these grades for favors? Who are these liars?" Bitter hatred filled her mouth. She would stand against the accusers if she were able.

"Well, obviously, you are not one of them. And they cannot use you unless you were one of their witnesses. You haven't talked with any of the administration, have you?" Immediately, Uhura denied it. The only interaction she had with the administration had to do with something entirely different. Her complaint was with an over zealous cadet that would not take no for an answer. And part of that was her fault too. The emotions that played over her face as she thought back, caused Galia to pounce.

"Come on now, you have got to tell me. You do trust me don't you?" Galia waited for Uhura to answer, and then decided to confide in her as well. "Uhura, I know that something is going on with you and the commander. I'm Orion remember?" Gaila pointed to her nose as if that explained everything. "I can smell it. I'm not saying that you are having a full blown affair, but your hormones and pheromones are off the charts. There is some serious sexual frustration. Frankly I have a headache around you." She smiled to take a little of the sting out of her words. Then got serious as she added, "I have been patiently waiting for you to confess. But you don't trust me." Guilt etched the other cadet's eyes, even as she shook her head in negation.

"Wouldn't you feel better, to be able to have someone to confess to. All those secrets you are holding, are wearing you down. I can tell" Again Gaila tapped the side of her nose. "I know we are not the best of friends, but I hate to see you hurting." It was the sincerity that finally won over Uhura. And what she said was true. All the secrets were tearing her apart.

Getting up, she placed her empty cup on the table and looked at her hands as she began. Do you remember about a year ago, when I went on the 1st recruiting assignment with Captain Pike?"

"The one in Iowa?" Gaila asked, laughing at the big bar fight, that Uhura had told her about. The one where that guy had the gall to grab her boobs... Uhura shook her head no, "not that one, the 1st one in Kansas."

"You didn't say much about that one." But on reflection, Uhura was withdrawn when she had come back from that trip. Gaila shook her head for her to continue.

"Before the trip I had asked you for advice about how to get someone to notice me. Remember?" Uhura looked up and met the Orion's eyes. Gaila shook her head yes, and Uhura nodded with her, question in her eyes. Gaila's grew round with understanding.

"That was for him!? I thought that was for Charlie." Uhura could not bear the scrutiny in the Orion's eyes and stood up to distance herself.

"I wanted you to believe it was for Charlie." She corrected. "I had feelings for …. Him for some time." Still not able to say his name in public. "I don't know maybe forever. I know I had hero worship since I met him when I was 10." Gaila sat up, this story she knew. She motioned for her to continue.

"Things had begun to change. I noticed... I thought I noticed him looking at me differently. I mean my imagination was running wild and then I would doubt. But something would happen, like our hands would brush against each other accidentally, or I would turn around and find him staring." Uhura turned to Gaila, trying to convince her it was not all in her head like she had felt back then.

"So I got bolder, and made those moments happen on purpose, and more frequently, just to test him."

"And?!" Gaila interrupted enthusiastically, ever the romantic, whom lived for this. She flew from one relationship into the next looking for her prince Charming.

"I waited for him to make a move. Although he seemed aware of me, he seemed to close down, became even less expressive, if you can believe that is possible." Uhura commented with a nostalgic smile. It wasn't so funny then.

"I don't know, I only see you guys from a distance and I never noticed anything, you know going on." Gaila said with a shrug of her shoulders. "Maybe if I was closer to you guys, I might have realized." She said and they both tapped their noses and laughed.

"He started avoiding me. I almost had given up, when Captain Pike stopped by the Commander's office after the last class of the day with an offer that he couldn't refuse." Uhura smiled, her eyes focused in the past, and as she recounted the tale, she was transported back in time.

_Uhura raised her hands above her head and stretched, a crick in her neck from staring at the Comm, entering grades from the last of the Oral quizzes. She had given up hope that Spock would appear before she headed back to her dorm. She only saw him in class, or when surrounded by people. It was her own fault. In her quest to make herself noticeable, she had driven him into hiding. Gone were the discussions over tea, lunches in the cafeteria and even the occasional trip off campus to eat at the vegan diner around the corner. Now her main communication was emails on her PADD, or post it notes left on the Comm. She was lonely._

"_Spock, you here?" The owner of the voice popped his head in the doorway, then made his way halfway into the room. Uhura jumped up, startled out of her pity party. Captain Pike did not look any different than he did almost 10 years ago. _

"_Captain Pike!" Uhura moved to the older man and gave him a big hug. Chris looked at Uhura, not recognizing her, his arms automatically going around her. _

"_Captain." Spock's tone clipped, from the doorway. Uhura stepped back guiltily, even though she knew that there wasn't anything to be guilty about. It was just his voice and the way he said it, made her feel like she was betraying him. Crazy as the feeling was. "Nyota." He said in the same accusatory tone. _

_Now he calls me by name she thought. Pike whirled around and grabbed Uhura in another hug, taking her on a little ride. _

"_Little Nyota? I don't believe it! Well how are you doing?" Uhura stepped back unsteady on her feet, out of Pike's arms, but not before she saw Spock's eyes flash at his friend. Pike totally unaware of it, continued. "My how you've grown."_

"_Is there a reason for this visit?" Pike looked back questioningly at Spock, his voice even more void of hospitality than normal _

"_Yes, there is. I have come to see if you want to celebrate. I'm buying." Spock did not react at all, just stood there staring back. Uhura took it as a hint to collect her things and leave._

"_Spock, I just got the word. My prison term is over. I have been officially given the Enterprise. When she is complete, she is mine." Spock blinked. This was unexpected. But he was happy for his friend._

"_Captain that is fortuitous news. I know that you are looking forward to get back into exploration." Pike grinned back. _

"_Is that diner still open, you know the one around the corner?" Spock must have agreed non verbally, because Pike continued."Let's go celebrate. I'm buying." _

_Uhura had her things in her hands and tried to duck around them, as quietly as possible, not wanting to interrupt, but Pike slipped his hand around her arm to stop her. "I am including you. No, I won't take no for an answer. And before you protest, I know what the cafeteria food tastes like here, and I am doing you a favor. Right Spock?" Spock took a moment to answer, his eyes glued to Pike's hand on Uhura's arm. "Then let's be off." Pike said as he latched onto Spock with his other hand and propelled them out of the lecture hall. _

"_It's official you should hear the announcement sometime this week. Admiral Mendez is the new Commandant of the Academy. He is your heartache now. As soon as April took his place, I was back in the game. He's had a hard on since Talos IV." Spock cautioned Pike, to refrain from the current topic, Pike a little too intoxicated to notice the slip. _

"_Captain, I think it would be prudent to pick another topic." Pike noticed Spock looking from Uhura to the people next to them in the bar. From the diner Pike lead them on a merry chase, and this was the third establishment that they had patronized that night. _

"_Sorry, Nyota, didn't mean to offend you." Spock sighed, causing Uhura to look back at the commander in question. Then turned to Pike and assured him that she was not offended. "Oh, that reminds me, Spock, how would you like to be my number one?" Spock looked up in surprise. He assumed that he would pick Muriel. He never thought that Pike would pick him, but maybe it was the intoxication speaking. _

"_I will have to meditate on that Captain." Maybe that will give him time to sober up and rethink his plan, Spock thought. _

"_Well, you can come with me, on the next recruiting assignment this weekend and give me your answer. We can stop by the Enterprise on the way there and you can get a glimpse that might help you make up your mind." _

"_Are you trying to bribe me Chris?" Spock asked, his lips twitching, Uhura stared unabashedly in awe of the almost smile. It had been so long since she had seen one, even if it was not directed at her personally. _

"_Whatever it takes Commander. You have been on the ground too long. And I am worried about you. Once Mendez gets his clutches on that academy, you won't like it there. He can make things pretty miserable, especially since Tal..." Spock interrupted him, his voice filled with warning, no longer amused. Uhura turned to him, her mind a little slow with intoxication herself, Pike had been generous with the beverages, and she wasn't much of a drinker, seeing the damage done in the bar, and was puzzled by Spock's roller coaster of moods. Maybe it was just the booze. _

"_I need to go home," She declared as she tried to get off the bar stool without falling down. Spock's arm slid around her shoulders, his close proximity and warmth, caused a shiver to tremble through her body. Stumbling back against the bar she made her goodbyes again. _

"_Nyota, you come with us this weekend." At Spock and Uhura's shocked expressions, he continued. "I need administrative help, you know with forms and such, it would be a great help to me. I won't take no for an answer. And you are not going home by yourself. We'll take you." Uhura was not able to convince them otherwise and soon found herself escorted to the dorm, several heads were turned, but she kept her head down trying not to attrack any more notice than necessary. Right before they left her at the front of the steps, she tried to gauge Spock's reaction, to see if he was giving her signals to turn down Pike's offer, but his gaze was evasive as was becoming the norm of late. Very well, she would let fate decide. If it was meant to be they would show up tomorrow to collect her, if not then the weekend would be the longest one in history. _

_************************************************** ************"Damn fate." Uhura hissed under her breath. It had been a terrible weekend. Not only did Pike and Spock show up bright and early, she had overslept. Still she got ready in record time to be ignored the whole trip to Iowa. They were making a short stop and would be there only a few hours. Spock stayed in the pilots area the whole trip, leaving Uhura to entertain the guys. Cadets, primarily in the security department. Gun-ho military types, drunk on their own heroics. She couldn't tell which was worse Hendel or Charlie. _

_Uhura smiled at the appropriate times, laughing when necessary, but her heart wasn't in it. Sitting as far away as possible, she tried to not let her disappointment show. It wasn't as if Spock was the one to invite her. And Pike made it clear that she was there to help him with the clerical part of the recruiting assignment. She had no one to blame but herself. _

_Uhura was jostled by the cadet who threw himself into the chair next to her. Charlie looked down on her, his smile full of promise, she just didn't want what he was offering. Looking away she hoped that he would get the hint. But fate was rearing her ugly head again. Hence her exclamation. _

"_Yes, I think that it must be fate that brought us together." Charlie picked up her ponytail and tried to tickle her with it. Although it hurt, she twisted her head to pull it out of his hand. _

"_I think it was Captain Pike that invited me on this assignment, not fate. I hate fate." Uhura said, her eyes forward, not wanting to encourage him in anyway. However, he took it as an opportunity to lean forward, his gaze lowering to her bustline. She could feel heat climbing up her cheeks into her hairline, at his audacity. _

"_Well, I will thank anyone who was so thoughtful to keep us so beautifully entertained." Leaning closer he his hand rested on her knee and gave it a not so gentle squeeze. Uhura could not keep the yelp from escaping her throat as she half stood up. Before she could take his hand away, they were interrupted by none other than the Commander himself. _

"_Cadet, I need your assistance please, attend me." Uhura stumbled over the dictatorial tone that he took with her, but was grateful for the getaway. Unbuckling her seat belt she stood up and met the Commander at the back of the shuttle close to pilot area. He motioned for her to take a seat in the last row. _

_They sat in an uncomfortable silence for several moments before Uhura could not take it anymore. "Was there something that you wanted me to do Commander?" Uhura chanced a glance in Spock's direction. His head was lowered his sight was fixed on her skirt that had ridden up as she sat down. Quickly, she pulled on her skirt to uniform regulations, unnerved at his gaze. Abruptly, he raised his head his gaze straight ahead. She started to repeat the question when his eyes locked on her. Mesmerized , she waited for him to speak. Tilting his head, he spoke in a low voice, in Vulcan._

"_He had his hand on you." A statement that did not need an affirmation, but she gave it anyway, in the same low voice. He stare at her for a moment more, no emotion except for something in his eyes, that she could not decipher. "By your invitation?" This time she answered in the negative. He eyes tore away as he shook his head that he understood, then abruptly stood up and entered the pilot's area, leaving her alone without further comment. Uhura let out a breath that she did not know she was holding, as she looked back to the doorway that Spock entered and waited for him to come back, but in the back of her mind knew he wouldn't. _

_The Enterprise was everything she hoped it would be and so much more. Although there were corridors that were not complete and it was in mid construction, she was in awe of the massive structure. She walked behind Spock and Captain Pike, and listened as they discussed the parameters and specifics of the future flagship. It was as if the ship breathed. As if it were alive. Before they left the shipyard to set off for the recruitment meet in Kansas, she **knew** this was the ship that she would serve on. As the crew entered the shuttle, Uhura went directly to the back where she and Spock had sat down. _

_She tried not to groan when she saw Charlie head back to meet her. He had taken no more than a couple of steps, before Spock sat down next to her, his gaze straight ahead, not meeting anyone. Uhura could not help the smile that spread across her face, nor did she see the grimace on the other cadet's face as he sat back down next to Hendel. _

_For the rest of the day, Uhura tested the boundaries. If Charlie was in the vicinity, she would watch out of the corner of her eye for Spock, seeming to always know that he was close by. If she laughed a little louder than she normally did to his witless jokes, or if she leaned in close to hear him better, Spock made no further comment, but he was observant never the less. _

_All day it had rained, but now the clouds looked like they gave up their load. It was agreed upon at the end of the 1st night that they would hang out in the local watering hole as Pike put it to put feelers out for potential recruits. It never hurt that they were in uniform, the pomp and dazzle was always a draw. _

_Emboldened by Spock's response earlier in the day, Uhura decided to push the envelope. He had stayed at the bar with Pike, deep in discussion about the Enterprise. Apparently, he had been bit by the bug as well. Charlie was also encouraged by her attention and hung around her staking his territory to anyone one else that dared to approach. Uhura's eyes did not leave the Commander. She waited until he scanned the crowd for her before she let Charlie claim the dance he had begged for._

_Uhura moved through the crowd, pulled by Charlie, her hand held loosely in his. Spock stood rigid at the bar, his eyes locked on her as she weaved through the throng of people. The music's beat throbbed in the air, her heart competing with the rhythm, erratic and loud to her ears. Unable to break eye contact, for a moment she stood there frozen, looking over his shoulder, as Charlie moved in front of her. This was it. If he was going to make a move, this would be the time. Slowly, she joined in the dance, letting her body sway to the music, becoming a part of it. _

_Spock's face held no trace of the intensity that he had this morning. Indeed, he looked bored. He tilted his head in question before he turned abruptly and left the dive. Uhura's breath left her lungs in shock before she took off after him._

"_Wait!" Uhura ran, her boot heels echoing on the wet pavement, vainly trying to catch up to the Commander. Even though she knew Spock had excellent hearing he made no indication that he had heard her plea. She tried once more, her voice softer as it broke in frustration. This was so not going the way that she had planned. Never did she imagine that he would just turn and walk away. No expression on his face. No indication that he cared. She was so sure... How could she have been so wrong? The signs...could she have read them wrong... all of them wrong? _

_Suddenly, he stopped. He did not turn toward her, but he had stopped. His back straight, his stance rigid as if he tried to move, he would break into a million pieces. Just as many thoughts whirled through her mind. So many things she wanted to say to him, apologize to him, but nothing would make the journey from her heart to her mouth. She had to say something._

"_I'm sorry." Her breath caught as she tried to breathe through the pain in her chest, still struggling to translate her feelings into words. He repeated her statement as if it were a question, still he did not turn around. Grateful that he was giving her a chance to explain, she resisted the urge to run to him. Uhura had the irrational thought that if she took one step forward, that he would resume his way back to the hotel. So she stayed where she was and tried to concentrate on his words, spoken so softly and without any inflection, that it barely carried over the muted sounds of the bar behind her. _

"_To what are you referring your regrets to, Cadet?" Uhura paused, not sure how to answer. She was sorry for a great many things at the moment. She regretted taking Gaila's advice in the first place, regretted ever concocting this plan to make him jealous, but she regretted disillusioning herself the most. At least this morning, she still had the dream that he cared about her. His reaction, or to be truthful, lack of reaction, in the bar killed any fantasies that she had harbored for the Commander. Afraid that he would take her silence as an end to the conversation, she opened her mouth with no idea of what she was going to say, just that she was desperate for him not to leave, but he continued in that haunting lilt of his._

"_Regret implies intent. To what actions, Cadet are you referring your regret to?" Uhura hated talking to his back. There was no way she could judge his reaction without seeing his face. For he would like to think that he had his emotions under control 100% of the time,however his eyes usually gave himself away. At least she would have an inkling of what was going on in that analytical mind of his. She watched his shoulders shudder in a small sigh, and then he took a determined step forward. Uhura felt her chance, maybe her only chance slip away, and called out to him in desperation._

"_Wait! Please..." Again he halted. This time Uhura took a few steps forward, til she was a couple of feet behind, too scared to get any closer. Gaining courage that he might not bolt, she haltingly continued. "I am sorry for... could you please turn around? It's hard for me to talk to your back." For a minute she thought that he would not comply, then he did turn around, his eyes not quite making contact, but focused in the distance behind her. _

_And there was nothing. Nothing in his expression, nothing in his eyes. She was so wrong... about everything. She had been fooling herself into believing, that there was any connection between them. Uhura had never felt his alieness more than she did at that moment. Never had she felt so without confidence in her own instincts. A shiver tore through her that had nothing to do with the temperature around her, but more of the coldness of rejection staring back at her. _

_She had to make this right. Apologize and then she had to end this. She was just torturing herself. Deluding herself into believing that what she felt for him was mutual. Was real. _

"_I am sorry... for pretending. For trying to make you something ...you are not. For trying to make you feel... to **make** you feel. I realize now that all the hope in the world cannot make someone into being what you want them to be, when they are incapable of ….being." Through Uhura's speech, Spock moved his focus from the distance to her face. His eyes that were once so cold, warmed, not with kindness, or pity. She would have hated that the most, if he pitied her. No it was not pity, she saw, it was anger. _

"_You do not think I know what you were trying to do, Cadet? Do you think me so naïve that I could not detect your blatant attempts at flirtation. No matter where I turned, no matter where I went, you were there, always there." Uhura took a step back at the Bitterness in his clipped tones. How could she believe he was not able to be moved at her actions, as the mask, he wore in the bar, disintegrated before her eyes._

"_No, there was no escaping your attempts to make me notice you. The ironic thing in this situation, was you did not have to try so hard Cadet. Short of gouging my own eyes out, I could not possibly escape each and every gesture, or touch, your very fragrance is burned into everyone of my waking thoughts. No amount of meditation has dimmed a single moment from my memory. In lieu of the facts, your performance in the bar, was a concerted waste of effort." Uhura's mind was in turmoil, trying to digest Spock's confession, and hurt at the anger that pored out of him. _

"_You sound as if ...you hate me." Uhura's accusation caused Spock to decompress in on himself. Dropping his head for a moment, to hide his feelings, she suspected, and was vindicated, when he locked his eyes with her again, full of torment and guilt._

"_No, Nyota, no I do not hate you. How could I hate you I …." Again the emotion was too much for him to deal with and he turned from her, finding it easier to continue facing the shadows. "It is myself, that I find myself at war with. I have no right to ….. to feel this way. You are my student. My friend. I am finding it increasingly difficult to control my thoughts. Meditation is no answer. My teachings have deserted me. How can I betray your trust? I have no right." _

_Uhura felt the dying embers of hope ignite, at his dark confession. But she could not allow him to wallow in his self induced torment. If he thought that he needed permission for himself to accept his feelings, she would gladly give it. _

"_And do you speak for me as well?" Feeling bolder, she stepped closer to him. Startled at her closeness, he turned toward her, his face bared with vulnerability that she had never seen there before. His eyes burning so bright, she was blinded by their light. "Are my feelings to be pushed aside also?" Spock stared at her, not sure how to answer, turning over her words as if he could not translate them into meaning. _

"_I would not presume to speak for you." Again Uhura stepped closer, until there were but inches separating them. _

"_What of my rights? My feelings? Do they not get a voice also?" He appeared to have not imagined that the feelings were mutual. How typical for him to believe that he was alone in this. "Can we not decide together whether WE have the right?" Her hand raised to caress his cheek. He stood frozen in place. He did not lean into the action, but he did not move away either. Uhura would take what she could get. She placed her other hand on the other side of his face. Not taking her eyes off of him she raised herself up slowly, to give him time to acclimate himself. She was just inches from his lips, but her eyes were on his. _

"_Nyota." Her name a whisper that sent heat across her own lips as if a phantom kiss. Not breaking eye contact until their lips touched, she closed her eyes at the sensation. A trembling heat that burned her to her toes. Breaking the kiss, she noticed that his eyes were still open, staring at her in awe. She took it as a good sign that he did not pull away, even if he was not a true participant. Baby steps were required. _

_Again she raised herself up, but stopped and waited for his invitation, hesitantly he leaned a inch or two forward, but that was all she was going to get this time. She took it and met him the rest of the way. Again she felt him tremble, but only for a moment before she felt a meeting pressure. Her hands slid around his face to meet at the back of his head, curling into his hair, so soft and thick. Abruptly he broke away from her, leaving her to lean back into him. His hands were on her shoulders, steadying her, only to turn her back toward the bar. _

_Charlie had made his way out into the parking lot, calling out her name. Angry that he had interrupted the most important moment of her life, she waited until he found her in the dark._

"_What the hell happened and why are you standing out here in the dark?" His tone accusatory. She turned back to where Spock was standing, to see empty space. Scanning the darkness she could not spot him anywhere. _

"Are you trying to tell me that he bolted?" Gaila asked incredulous at the very idea of Mr. Spock running away.

"That is exactly what I am saying. I was left with Charlie at my heels for the rest of the night. Which wasn't very long. We made it back to the hotel within the half hour."

"Well, what did he say the next morning. I am sure you didn't see him until the next day." Gaila laughed at the idea that he would allow her in his hotel room.

"Oh, no it's worse than that. He managed to find other transport that night and left our recruitment party. It wasn't until Monday before I had a chance to talk to him and it wasn't pretty. The door chimed interrupting any further tales. Gaila opened the door to a distinguished gentleman with a briefcase in his hand.

Pardon my interruption, but you didn't answer your comm, and this is of urgent business. Here is my card, I am representing Commander Spock and I need to talk to Ms. Nyota Uhura, please.

_**This is the way I pictured their 1st kiss with Uhura as the aggressor. The way the movies played their scenes, I can't imagine him attacking her. But it is my opinion. Interested to hear yours. If this is too tame I apologize but it will heat up in its own way. Thanks for reading. **_


	6. Chapter 6 Reunion

Reunion

"Please come in." Gaila said as she scanned the business card and moved back to give him clearance. The gentleman smiled and stepped into the crowded dorm room. Feeling as if the walls were closing in Uhura offered her hand in greeting.

"I am Nyota Uhura. Please have a seat." She indicated the small table with two chairs. Matthias placed his briefcase on the table and took in his surroundings. Two beds, bookcase, and little else. He didn't miss the non verbal exchange the two young ladies were giving each other. Gaila was obviously trying to encourage Ms. Uhura . Maybe it would be for the best, to keep the two together for the time being. He had a feeling that Ms. Uhura would clam up before he got the information he would need. Obviously, this first interview would be handled with kid gloves. Instead of opening his briefcase, he set it by his feet, smiled and motioned her to have the other seat across from him,

"Would you like some tea?" Gaila asked, breaking his eye contact from the witness, he waved the offer away.

"Can't abide the stuff. Coffee would be nice. Strong and black." Again he turned to Uhura. "I am sure by now the grapevine as spread all kinds of rumors dealing the Commander's sudden departure from his academic schedule. Without knowing the exact details, I am sure that a lot of it is highly exaggerated. From the research, that I have done, so far, I would doubt that they have done any real investigating on their own, before setting this in motion. However, I do not want to belittle the situation. Some of the charges that are pending, are serious.

"Commander Spock is innocent. He hasn't done anything wrong." Uhura stated, her inflection emphatic in his defense.

Matthias smiled as he replied, "It is not our job to prove he is innocent, but their job to prove his guilt. We just have to weaken their case, to break down all of their evidence, punch holes as you will in their testimony and evidence, til it no longer can support their charges. In this I can use your assistance." Matthias ended his statement locking eyes with the Cadet.

"How can I help?" Uhura asked, and Matthias was not sure if the hesitancy in her voice was due to her willingness to get involved or just wariness in dealing with the councilman himself. Either way, he needed to proceed with caution, to keep her open to answering his questions.

"The Commander told me that you two met about 7 years ago, is that correct?" At her nod of affirmation, he continued. "And that you resumed your acquaintance when you joined Starfleet?"

"He was there at my high school graduation ceremony." Matthias' curiosity lit up his face at that revelation. Uhura continued to explain, "He presented my scholarship." The councilman was not aware of this and asked her to elaborate. Uhura's eye's took on a far away look as she recanted her ceremony.

* * *

"_Nyota stop looking at your notes, you have your speech memorized."_

_Lissan stated as moved from foot to foot, not used to standing in the high heels, her friend convinced her to wear, to give her some height. _

" _I only get to give the valedictorian once and I want to get it right." Uhura looked back to her PADD, to verify that she did indeed had it memorized, but her nerves were getting the best of her. _

"_I am just happy that this part of my life is over. A most boring enterprise this experience has been." Lissan stated knowing that her place in her society had been established before she was born, and this Earth education, just an exercise in the ambassador's agreement with the Andorian high command. _

"_Well mine is just beginning, and I apologize if my wanting to enjoy the moment bores you." _

"_Excuse me, Nyota?" Uhura turned to her guidance councilor's interruption, jumpy in her nervous energy. "I know that you are practicing your speech, but I wanted to introduce you to Mr. Spock who will be presenting your full scholarship to Starfleet Academy." _

_Uhura's vision froze on the Vulcan, as if she had seen a ghost, whom was standing a foot behind the councilor as if he did not want to intrude on the students. _

"_Well, if it is not your Vulcan back from the great afterlife!" Lissan announced, with the first sight of excitement that night. Uhura blinked in her astonishment, feeling as if the floor was shifting under her feet._

"_What a peculiar thing to say Lissan?" The councilor said in a censored tone, not happy with the Andorian's attitude. Spock merely tilted his head at the statement, his only outward appearance at his curiosity. _

"_I thought you had died on the Dreadnaught..." Uhura whispered still in shock at his presence. Spock's attention turned to her and she felt herself holding her breath. "We heard that the starship was destroyed and all crew members were lost." _

"_I can assure you that I am quite alive and well." He stated the obvious causing her to shake off her shock. _

"_Of course you are. Not surprising that the news got it wrong again." Uhura was still finding it hard to believe that the Commander was standing in front of her, and felt the sudden urge to burst into tears._

"_Well you will have to change your speech now." Turning to the counselor and the Commander Lissan added for their benefit, "She made it a tribute to you sir, in honor of her fallen role model, slain in the line of duty. Nyota has been moping around in mourning this whole week." Uhura felt the heat of her embarrassment burning her face, as she hissed to her friend to shut up. _

_There was an awkward pause in conversation. Uhura desperately wanted to wanted to escape, wishing for a sink hole to develop under her feet. She chanced a glance to the Commander to find him frozen, his eyes fixed on her face, his only movement a couple of quick blinks. She averted her eyes and wished for that sink hole again. _

"_Nyota, it was logical that you would assume that I was one of the causalities of the Dreadnaught. Fortunately I was detained at Starfleet while the starship was in route to it's final destination. You would not have knowledge of that information. There is no need to feel embarrassment for your misconception. Indeed I should thank you, that our acquaintance should garner such sentiment... I had not realized..." _

_Uhura was taken aback by the Commander's hesitation. She had never expected him to ever be at a loss for words, she urged him to continue, "what?" _

_Spock paused a moment more in thought, and leaned slightly forward as if confiding a secret, "I was remiss in alerting my Mother the same news, not aware that the news of the Dreadnaught's demise would reach my home world. Her reaction was quite alarming." Uhura's eyes widen in surprise, wondering what a vulcan considered a reaction to be classified as 'alarming'. _

"_Indeed, once she was over her shock, I was forced to endure a lengthy lecture on consideration." _

"_Well, I am just glad that you are ok." Uhura admitted more at ease with his confession. The counselor alerted them that the ceremony was about to start and she and the Commander needed to make their way back to their seats. Now that the meeting was over, and they disappeared in the throng of people, she felt the first tears trace down her face. _

* * *

So what is the name of this scholarship again?" Matthias asked as he started jotting notes down in his PADD.

Uhura focused on the present and answered, "The Starfleet Memeorial Service Scholarship."

"And this is a full scholarship? I am impressed, I have not heard of it before, but your academic record is very impressive. I would not be surprised if you were not offered a number of scholarships at the same number of other universities."

Uhura acknowledged his statement, she had her choice of several ivory league establishments, but her choice had been made long ago. `Matthias went back to his PADD, scanning through his notes.

"You have been the Commander's aide a couple of years. Being his aide, you have probably spent the most time with Mr. Spock than any other Cadet. It would be reasonable to assume that you would have observed him in his daily interaction with his students. Your insight would be invaluable to this case."

"I want to help." Uhura's emphatic offer was met with less enthusiasm than she expected. Matthias met her eyes.

"Ms. Uhura I want to be frank with you. There is a certain perception of you in regards to your relationship with the Commander. This perception is not something that you can change by will alone. Your zeal to proclaim his innocence could be the deciding factor in prosecution's case of his guilt." At her confusion he tried to explain further.

"Obviously, you have feelings for the Commander," Matthias waved off her protest to continue, "hero worship at the least. He came into your life at a vulnerable time. A time when you were easily influenced. You had time to develop these feelings. And they could easily be misconstrued to appear otherwise. Whether there are romantic feelings or not, the appearance that they are is what we have to break down. My job is to change their perception. It would be in Mr. Spock's best interest if we can keep you off the stand as much as possible. From the list of potential witnesses that I have privilege to, you are not the main supporting evidence, and this is to our advantage. You want to help him?" At his question she hesitantly nodded her head, not sure where this was going.

"Then help him by restraining yourself from proclaiming his innocence." She sat up straighter at his tone. "You need to keep a low profile. Classes only, do not engage yourself in conversations with other cadets that could add to the prosecution's evidence. Do not roam the halls of the Academy as a martyr." At this Uhura's eyes met Gaila's, who raised her shoulders in 'I told you so'.

"Now then what can you tell me about Cadet Valerie Abbott?" Matthias asked as he settled down into his research, confident that he got his point across. He still was not sure how intricate the Commander's relationship was with the Cadet, but he was sure that she wouldn't do anything to jeopardize his chances. And the Embassy was a way to keep them separated. The security there was better than at the United Federation of Planets. Short of Embassy Personnel, everyone is scrutinized to the highest degree.

* * *

Spock was bracketed by two of the Vulcan security enforcers as the other lead them group into the vestibule of the Vulcan Embassy. He had not entered those doors since he was an adolescent. It had not changed, nor had the unwelcome tendency to look over his shoulder, expecting to see the disapproving observance of his Father. Shaking off the illogical concept, he followed the lead to the guards where they discussed his presence. As they moved aside to let them into the main building, they were interrupted by a woman in flowing robes that hurried through a causeway to the left.

Spock turned to his Mother, surprised that she was here on Earth. She rarely traveled anymore, preferring the quiet life on Vulcan than the intricate diplomatic engagement that his Father was so well at. She looked pale and more fragile than he remembered. It had been too long. She called his name as she made it to his side.

"Mother." He greeted as she wrapped her arms around him. Not reciprocating, he stood stiffly until she let go and took a step back. The other Vulcans stared at the spectacle no regard to privacy.

"Why didn't you tell us? Do you have any idea of how worried I have been for you?" She reached for his face, but he intercepted her hand, and pulled her a few feet away from their audience.

"Mother, I was not aware that you were here at the Embassy. It is not supposed to be in session at this time." She scoffed at his reason for his tardiness at keeping her informed. Her anger at his thoughtlessness showed through her words as she lectured him.

"Spock it does not take hardly any effort send a message, to let us know you are ok, or if you need help." She searched his eyes, seeing if he had any clue how worried she had been for him, of what he had put her through. He broke eye contact first and she felt him tighten his hold on her hand, that she had been unaware of that he had not let go. She had that much. Again he looked to her and softened his voice, chastised at her obvious agitation traveling through contact of their fingers.

"I apologize Mother, if I had caused you any needless worry. I should have... realized that the Vulcan high command intelligence would have been informed. I unintentionally caused you the suffering I wanted to avoid in the first place. Again I apologize." Amanda Grayson felt herself take a deep breath. It was so hard to hold her anger when confronted with those dark brown eyes so like her own.

"Amanda." the Ambassador's authoritative voice echoed in the hall, from where he stood at the end of the causeway. Both Mother and Son turned as one in answer.

"Father." Spock greeted him bowing his head slightly. Not expecting any sign of reciprocation and not disappointed when he was not acknowledged. They had not officially spoken to each other, since the day he left his home world and entered Starfleet. It looked like today was not going to break that record. He had little hope that his Father was the one requesting his presence at the Embassy, still he...Spock buried the unwelcome emotion burning in his throat and turned to his Mother, but before he could take his leave, she stepped forward.

"Serak, you can at least..." Amanda was cut off by her husband's stubborn determination to not make a spectacle of his personal life in front of the embassy personnel.

"It is late and any reunion can be continued in the morning. Amanda." He finished and held out his hand for her to follow. But he should have known better, if he expected her to be acquiescent in his request. Amanda could be trying when she was in her protective mode. Feeling his Mother's anger at his Father's treatment, through the physical contact of the hand he was holding, he tightened his hold again. Seeing that this was about to become violent if left to continue, Spock got her attention from his Father and wished her goodnight. He then had to promise to see her first thing in the morning, before her emotions subsided to a low boil.

"Amanda Attend me." Serak's arrogant command made her anger spike to a new height before the empathic contact was broken when she let go of his hand.

"Mother." Spock said as he reminded her that they were not alone, subtlety motioning with his head, pointing out the others in the room. She nodded her head self consciously, not wanting to add further embarrassment to her son.

"Until tomorrow." She promised and then strode to her husband and reluctantly placed her fingers along her husband's as he lead her away. He could not help but notice the twinge at his Father's brow at the contact. Spock did not imagine that his Father would be retiring anytime soon tonight. At least not peacefully.

**Please bear with me, as I need to set up the plot for the story. I hope you like it. I apologize if I have offended anyone. I have taken certain liberties with Cannon, but in my defense it is just my opinion, and is written just for enjoyment. **


	7. Chapter 7 Rejections

**Chapter 7 Rejections **

The sun's rays of light pierced the other side of the room as Spock vainly tried to maintain his meditative state. The flames of the sensori candle flickered in the warm breeze from the open window. It had been a long night, but he was no closer to peace than when he had assumed the position the night before. Spock's mind was assaulted with a myriad of memories from his past. No matter how he tried to push them back and under his control, another would slip through the barrier, gaining his attention and forcing him to begin again.

* * *

"_Spock what is the meaning of your outburst with the Vulcan Science Academy this morning?" Sarek stood at the garden's entrance. His disapproval etched in the hard lines that formed his face. Spock had went directly to his Mother's attempt at an informal garden that lined the barren landscape outside of his ancestral homestead, as soon as he refused the invitation to the Science Vulcan Academy, wanting nothing more than to rid himself of the bitter emotion that tainted his thoughts. _

_No matter how far he thought that he had come, how much he had accomplished, he was still judged by their condescending, bigoted views on the other part of his "inferior" makeup. His whole life, Spock had been defending his right to exist, or his Mother's. _

_The minister's coarse judgment of his Mother ate at Spock's control. He felt the years slide away and all of the faces of his peers replaced the hallowed hall, each spouting the hatred, that filled his ears. Giving into a splurge of spontaneity, that he rarely indulged in, he found himself, declining the goal he had set since he was six, and boasting an intent to ingrate himself in his Mother's people, joining Starfleet of all possible occupations. Standing by the Earth roses, he stared down at their audacity, to not only to fight the alien soil and the unrelenting reign of the Vulcan sun, but to thrive among the more deadly species of plants, vainly trying to suffocate the fragrant petals in their own quest to survive. _

_So fragile in their own right, valiantly winning their right to exist. No pomp nor circumstance, no showmanship. No impulsive boasts, said without clear thought to the repercussions of said action. As the heat left his face and blood, the reality of the situation sank into his consciousness. Again his Father broke into his thoughts._

"_In your quest to prove the High Command that their opinions are justified, you have closed off any chance to have an acceptable life on this world. Have you satisfied your emotional needs, at the risk of your own peril?!"_

_Amanda stopped in her tracks at her husbands condemnation. She wanted to give her son some time to think things through, so she gave him his privacy. Sarek had not joined their party to return home, but to stay with the Vulcan command to do damage control. Sitting next to her son in the hovercar, she remained silent in her fear for his future. She wanted to support him, but all she could think of was the doors closing due to his decision he had made. All of his plans were up in the air, and not just his. What about T'Pring? Amanda saw Spock's intent and left him to enter the garden alone._

_She had not known Sarek had returned, until she had heard the boom of her husband's voice. Never had she heard him so close to losing his control with his son. Thinking only of Spock's safety, she ran the whole way to the garden. Now frozen at the taboo her husband and son made, she was helpless to do nothing but watch her family fall apart. _

"_Father, the Vulcan Science Academy is hardly the only option on Vulcan." Spock spoke in his own behalf, sounding defensive in his own ears. Sarek's wrath was not quenched at his son's short sightedness. He replied before Spock's last words met fruition._

"_Alienating the High Command will make any other occupation unattainable. Bearing any occupation on the surrounding colonies, you have exiled yourself from Vulcan." Amanda gasped at Sarek's assessment. Surely it was not that dire. She reached for Sarek, as if in her touch she could make him take back the horrendous things that he had just said. Amanda could take her son's emotional withdrawal, his need to separate himself from his own emotions, but to have physical banishment was not acceptable. She could not lose her son. Sarek paused at his wife's touch, but he felt the need to be imperative, to make his son understand the repercussions of his action. Spock continued to convince his Father that he had made a logical decision. _

"_Starfleet is a viable option. I will be able to contribute in the advancement of the Federation, and with the Human civilization, in which you yourself have dedicated the last forty years of your life as well. Surely, you do not see your life as a waste?" _

_Spock's eyes tilted toward his Mother as he spoke, as if daring his Father to acknowledge his wife's people as worthless. Sarek's gaze was locked with his son. Spock's attempt of deflection was met with unbridled contempt. _

"_This conversation is not about my choice of career, it is about your rash decision to destroy your life. You have responsibilities,obligations. Your life is not yours alone. Your actions condone or condemn others." Sarek's words brought the young Vulcan up short. _

_As with a person with a bad tooth, he was automatically drawn to the fiber of connection with his betrothed. Parted and never parted, the connection was forever in the back of his mind. Rarely did he do more than to delicately twinge it to assure himself that it was truly there, but there was never any more answer than an insistent pull back to close the flow of information. T'Pring never reciprocated. It was enough for her that the Kan-Telan had taken place. _

_It had been more than a year since he was in her physical presence The first few years after the betrothal ceremony, his mother had made certain apertures toward the other family to help the two become better acquainted, but it resulted in no more than strained meetings of forced conversation on the most superficial level. Truly, he had no idea of her concerns on this matter. Til the need arose, it was assumed that the official ceremony would not take place. Until then their lives were lived apart. He did not see the need to consult with her. There was time. He was only 17. Surely by the time he completed his education, he would find a viable career. No his father was angered at something else entirely. Once again Spock had the audacity to make his own decisions, that were not clones of Sarek's choosing. Again he turned to his Father._

"_Father, what would you have had me done? Accept Vulcan Science Academy as a default? You were present when they stated my Disadvantages. I cannot be you and turn a blind eye on their narrow minded views." Again Spock's eyes strayed to his mother and the unveiled fear that shaped her face. _

"_Spock you chose to follow the Vulcan ways. This wavering back and forth has no merit. You must apologize and resubmit your request to apply for the Academy. I am certain that there will be no repercussions." Spock blinked at his Father's announcement. He should apologize?_

"_Apologizing would be to accept their views. This is your wish?" Spock asked not believing his Father would agree with the council. It was one thing to turn a blind eye, it was another to agree with them. Did he truly view his wife as inferior? Did he view he son as a disadvantage as well?_

"_It is the logical choice." Was Sarek's only reply. Spock turned from his Father. He had felt his Father's disapproval many times, he had felt his disappointment, but this was the first time he felt that his Father was ashamed of him, ashamed because he was part human. _

"_Why did you marry Mother?" Sarek was taken aback by his son's whispered question. But before he could ask for clarification, Spock continued, his voice growing in decibel as well as intensity, unable to control his temper. Spock turned back to his Father as he questioned. "Why did you have me? Why!?" Amanda stepped forward, wanting only to comfort her son, but paused at her son's heated visage. _

"_Why go to all of the trouble? Surely you would have realized that the genetic material would be compromised by the human element and the result would be forever defective. Why did you have me?" Sarek stared at his son, shocked at his outburst. Torn between correcting his son's viewpoint and maintaining his control he reverted to his upbringing._

"_It was the logical course of progression." Amanda turned to her husband, with a threat of hitting him in her eyes. How could such an intelligent man spout such nonsense. _

"_Spock we had you because we love you. And wanted you." Amanda moved to her son and enfolded his hands in hers. She felt him let go of his rigid stance and he clutched her fingers once before letting go._

_Spock ignored his Father for a moment and regarded his Mother's fragile form. Never had he doubted his Mother's love and support, even if she had not declared it on a daily basis. Her actions proved it. In her eyes he felt whole. Worth. Value. Never for one moment did he want her to feel that he doubted her. And the guilt dug at his stomach that she had to witness this. _

"_I apologize Mother for upsetting you. I did not mean to make you feel you had to justify yourself to me." Amanda smiled to reassure him that she was not offended. Spock turned back to his Father, calmer, but just as determined as before. More so, than before. _

"_I will not apologize to the council." Spock's statement hardened Sarek's features if it were possible. _

"_Then there is nothing else to discuss. You have set your course. You have turned your back on the Vulcan way. There will be no support from this house." Amanda protested her husbands pronouncement but Sarek had already turned his back on his offspring and was heading toward the house. _

* * *

Spock broke from his meditative trance still feeling the echoes of the past. The rejection still tore at him, but he knew he had made the right choice. It was a sound choice, not like some of the other less thought out decisions, he had made in his life. Mentally chuckling, he thought back to the first time he confronted his attachment to Nyota. This time he was the one doing the rejection, and as he memory served he was not as well versed as his Father at setting the boundaries.

* * *

_Spock paced the confined space of his office. He had been there since the sun rose. Helpless but to turn over the events of the past two days, over and over in his head, he sought peace. He sought logic. He sought answers. _

_Again he wondered why he stood by and allowed Nyota to cross the line between teacher and student. He could have stopped it. He could have walked away. Said something. No he was not entirely innocent of blame. He was the elder, the authority figure. It would have been so easy to pull her hands away from his face, to step back from her embrace, to stop her lips... Once again he felt his fingers pressing against his own, where he imagined the caress. The emotions that transferred between the contact froze him in his place. He had never experienced that extent of intensity before and he had no idea how his legs had continued to support him in the barrage of feelings._

_He should have taken control right then. Stopped Nyota and explained that nothing could have been accomplished by continuing along that dangerous path. It was logical to take control of the situation. But in that moment logic alluded him, abandoned him, instead he remembered waiting... Waiting for her to show him more. And she did. But not without his permission. Even in his heated non rational mind he was conscious of her non verbal request. By waiting for him to move closer, she invited him to become a participant, a willing partner in the experience. And he gave his permission and participated in their foolishness, abandoning all reason. He now burned in his humiliation upon remembering his emotional betrayal. _

_If the other cadet had not made his presence known, Spock was not entirely sure how far his foolishness would have taken him. It was unforgivable. Immediately he sought his escape like the coward he was. And he did not stop running until he found transport back to the Academy that night. In a way he was still running, distracting himself with useless memories instead of planning a logical course to set this circumstance to right. It was time. Logic was restored, and dictated what the next steps should be followed. _

_It was an unpleasant business that needed to be addressed and he was the one that had to do it. Obviously, the cadet was too emotional to see the repercussions that the rash actions they had participated in, could jeopardize not only their positions at the Academy, but their future careers. It was most illogical. It was ill conceived. It was... _

"_Spock." His name spoken on those lips brought his war within himself to silence as he turned toward the cadet in the doorway. She was paused in movement, her hesitation reflected in her voice, once again waiting for his permission to continue. _

"_Cadet." The one word response had her rushing toward him, and he braced himself for the contact. As she embraced him, he held still, absorbing the vibrations before his hands gently but firmly removed her from his close proximity. The warm smile dimmed as she noticed his remoteness. Again he attempted to take control of the situation._

"_Cadet. I must insist that you desist in this emotional display." Spock noticed Nyota flinch at his harsh, authoritative tone filled with condensation._

"_There can be no repeat of Saturday's performance." Nyota stepped back. Spock knew she was trying to read his face, he also knew that there was no indication of expression, that she could twist into something she wanted to see. He was in control. He would stop this before it became impossible to stop. _

"_Performance? Is that what you call what happened between us?" Uhura asked, a hint of irritation flavored her voice. Irritation was good. It helped her to distance from him, gave him a little space from her close proximity. Spock blinked, from the pause in conversation, he surmised that she wanted an affirmative to her statement to the obvious. If that was what was needed to end this painful conversation then he would give it to her. _

"_Precisely. You must realize that continuation of said actions can not only __jeopardize our standing with Starfleet Academy, but with our future careers." __Again he waited while the cadet absorbed his words. This was going better than he thought it would. Nyota was intelligent. She would see that this was the most logical course to pursue. Just when he thought he was getting through to her, she replied._

"_Actions. Why don't use say what it really was Spock? Why hide behind the euphemisms?" Uhura took a step forward, advancing in his personal space. _

"_Cadet?" Spock resisted the urge to step back as well, as he asked his pupil for clarification, not quite following her train of thought. _

" _Kiss, Spock. It was a kiss. Not an action, not a performance. A kiss." Again she took a step forward, to stand feet to feet, her delicate neck arched up to meet his eyes. He could feel her breath reach his face as she waited for him to acknowledge her statement. He felt himself swallow before he again tried to take control of the situation. _

"_Cadet I am aware of what we did. It was wrong. It was unethical. It should have never happened." Spock felt the force it took to enforce the authority in his voice. Uhura's eyes shifted over his face, as if searching for something. _

"_Do you regret it?" Uhura asked. Spock paused, wondering if it were a trick question. How should he answer it without losing any ground he had retrieved. _

"_Regret is an emotion Cadet. Emotions that I …." Uhura interrupted him. _

"_Nyota. My name is Nyota." _

"_I am well aware of your name Cadet." Spock replied, trying vainly to stay on topic, and vaguely irritated that she was making him exert so much energy to do so. _

"_Then use it. Don't hide behind titles." Spock jumped on her statement, __unable to keep himself from falling into a defensive mode. _

"_I am not hiding behind anything." Spock stated emphatically. _

_Uhura raised on her toes, to be eye to eye to emphasize her point. "Yes, you are. You are hiding behind the teacher-student relationship. You are distancing yourself from me by using Cadet instead of my name. Say my name Spock." _

"_Ms. Uhura this is a futile exercise in debate. The realization is that we made a mistake and we need to correct it." Spock felt unease at the impish smile that spread across her face, as if she felt she had made a point in this discussion, when he clearly did not see it. _

"_What are you trying to say Spock? Are you implying that we can just turn off what we are feeling, and pretend that the kiss did not happen? Continue as before?" Spock felt himself taking a deep breath before continuing. She did understand what he was trying to say. This was going better than he thought it would. _

"_Precisely Cadet. You need to realize that your feelings are just a reflection of a teacher student transference. Once you put this behind you, you will see that your feelings are temporary and fleeting." Uhura lowered her eyes at his statement, but jerked back at the end of his assessment. _

"_Fleeting? Spock I have a problem with your observation." Spock waited for her to continue, as she scanned his face again. "You speak of my feelings. But what of yours?" Spock started to reiterate his stance on the lack of need for emotions, until Uhura placed cool fingers across his heated lips halting his defense, then pulled them away before he embarrassed himself by leaning into her touch. _

"_No more hiding remember. I am well aware you pretend to not have feelings. But I was there remember. I do not need to be an empath to know you were just as moved by the kiss as I was. Indeed you pretend you are not __moved by my closeness now, but your body gives you away." Spock started __to protest, not even aware of the exact words he was using, but Uhura's eyes moved down to stare at his hands that were clenched at his sides, betraying his fight for control. He felt the strength of his fight fail. Frustration at the hopelessness of the situation tinted his voice as he was reduced to pleading his case. _

"_Nyota, please. We can not do this. Do not ask me." Uhura lowered herself, her eyes not longer challenging, compassion replaced in their ebony depths. _

"_I can see that you are still not ready to face your feelings. I can understand that. All right I'll back off." At his obvious relief, she warned him. "I'll back off but I am not giving up. It's not over." _

* * *

Spock was brought to by the ringing of a distant bell. Morning had officially been called. Getting up he shook off any residual exhaustion. He had made a promise to his Mother to meet her first thing. Spock had no doubt that she would be waiting for him in her private sitting room. He made quick work of his daily routine and made his way quietly down the hall, acknowledging the guards in the causeway.

Debussy's Arabesque #1 was playing softly in the background as he entered the doorway. His mother smiled from her seat in front of the full tea service. Spock felt an overwhelming surge of nostalgia at the scene in front of him. How many times had he sat down next to her and participated in this antiquated ritual? The only thing missing was the barren landscape framing the backdrop. Never had he felt more homesick than at that moment.

"Come sit down before it gets cold." Amanda urged as she waved him to sit. Sitting down next to her she began to pour. The aroma of the fresh baked scones and pastries assaulted his nose as he watched her put one teaspoon of sugar in his cup and waited. He held back his smirk. Did she think that he was 8 years old? Lowering her head to hide her smile she added another teaspoon of sugar. Again she raised her head and waited expectantly. He indulged her by tilting his head just once and she finished his cup by adding one more teaspoon of sugar before handing him his cup.

Taking an indulgent sip he complimented her on her choice of tea. The Lady Grey was brisk yet refreshing.

"Yes, it's been awhile since I've tasted it myself. Sash-savas does not have the same citrus quality, but it will do in a pinch." Amanda passed him a plate with a lemon scone and a petite four or two. She looked him over under her pale lashes. He had lost weight since she had seen him last. There were new lines in his face making him look drawn. She wondered exactly what was going on in her son's life.

"How long have you been here at the Embassy?" Spock's question brought her focus back to the present.

"Just a day." Spock shook his head. News traveled fast in the Vulcan command. Amanda watched her son waiting for him to open up. A vain hope she knew. He seemed occupied with his plate, but had yet to take one bite. Grasping for conversation she dropped some news from home.

"T'Pring participated in her Kun-ut kali-fi." Amanda looked up through her lashes as she poured another cup for herself. Spock looked up, mild surprise lit his eyes, but that was all. She breathed a small sigh of relief. Amanda had been afraid that her son still harbored some feeling for his estranged betrothed. But as far as she could tell, he had no feelings at all.

Her curiosity burned, wanting to know the details of his broken betrothal. Sarek had brought her the news the day it was recorded in the archives. Although he had showed only disappointment with his son, she knew through their bond, that his fear was great for Spock's future. His pon farr was imminent. To be untied as he was, was to court death. Although, much was unknown with his hybrid makeup, there was no guarantee that he would be free of the blood burning fever.

"You don't look too surprised." Spock's mother asked, hoping that he would elaborate. Emptying his cup, she leaned in to refill.

"Only that it happened so quickly." He answered into his cup.

"You knew that there was someone else." Even though she stated her question as a statement, he answered anyway, as his mother wanted.

"Yes, I knew that there was someone else. How could I not through the bond. No matter how hard you keep it in control, strong emotions tend to slip through. I was not, however, aware of the identity of her intended." Afraid to press too hard, Amanda gave him a moment to continue. When he did not add any more details, she asked what she was dying to know.

"Is that why you terminated the Kan-Telan?" Spock suppressed his sigh, but some of his agitation leaked through his posture. Always so private. How would she learn anything about her son? Wallowing in her self pity, she almost lost his next words, spoken so softly.

" No, although I was aware her attention was focused elsewhere, it was not enough to concern myself."

Again she pressed a little further, "If not T'Pring, then what made you decide to terminated the bond?" Spock looked to his mother, and she could see him silently waring with himself. A part of him wanted to confide, she could tell. She smiled back and held her ground. Any more pressing would close him up.

"It was no longer a viable option." Amanda lost hope for further details when she saw him collect himself. If it wasn't T'Pring unfaithfulness, what made him take the initiative to break the bond?

"How long will you be here at the Embassy?" Spock's question stopped any ability to continue that avenue of conversation. Amanda gave into her son's wishes with grace and answered.

"I am not sure. Pending the situation and other home world business." Spock interrupted his mother.

"Mother, I do not mean to interfere with Father's business. I do not want to be a burden." Amanda set down her cup and scooted closer to her only child.

"Spock you will never be a burden to us. We are your parents. We love you. You are our business. Don't you know that?" Spock held himself rigid to her attempt to comfort him, but that did not deter her determination. Deep down she knew that he needed this. After a moment she sat back and she reassured him that she cared.

"Mother I have no doubt of your devotion." Amanda tensed at his announcement.

"Do not doubt your Father's devotion. He has been so worried for you. You are always in his thoughts." Spock's disbelief was clear in his eyes.

"And he has said this?" At her hesitation, he shrugged as if he was validated in his original assessment of being a burden to his Father.

"You know your Father, he would not voice his concern out loud." Spock vocally agreed.

"Yes, I know my Father. He would not speak of such things. He would not have any such hesitation on his disappointment of the current situation however." Amanda sought the opening her son gave her and asked about the current situation, but he would not open up, still caught up in his father's disapproval. This feud had to end. Before their time ran out. Never had she felt urgency than she did then.

"Spock this estrangement between you and your Father has to end. It is tearing us all apart. Spock listen to me. Your Father is not well." Spock paused at her announcement.

"Not well, what is wrong with him." Amanda hesitated, not wanting to alarm her son, but wanting to share her fears with someone, the burden a hard one to bear alone.

"He has not told me, but I feel his fear and pain through our bond, when he is at his weakest. There is something wrong with his heart. He won't discuss it with me. Perhaps, he will confide in you." Spock openly scoffed at her hope.

"Confide in me? We have not spoken in 10 years. Do you honestly feel that he would speak of such personal information to me?" Amanda pleaded with her son to see reason.

"Spock, you must try to reason with him."

"This estrangement was not of my doing Mother." Amanda rolled her eyes looking to heaven for guidance. Spock knew that he had exasperated her patience. He did not want their meeting to end on such a despairing note.

" So stubborn! You are so like your Father." Spock attempted to lighten the mood.

"Father would disagree with your statement. Many times he stated that particular attribute was entirely on my Mother's side of my makeup."

Amanda took his olive branch for what it was meant to be and smiled before saying, " No I believe you got your pertinacity from me, your bull headed stubbornness is all your Father's." Mother and Son spent the next couple of minutes in peaceful quiet. But Spock reflected on his Mother's earlier warnings about his Father. Something in what she said had him thinking.

"You sensed his illness... through your bond?" His question broke the quiet and Amanda took a moment to answer, not wanting to engage in another heated argument.

"Yes." Spock was still thinking. She kept silent, curious as to where his thoughts had turned.

"And your bond... it is strong?" He turned toward her his focus over her shoulder, as if uncertain to make direct eye contact. "You have distinct impressions?... I only ask because as human, you are not a direct touch empath, and I always wondered... if your bond was complete." Spock paused, appalled that he had physically asked the questions that had plagued him recently. Hearing them in his own ears, caused him to feel as if the questions sounded like the bigoted views he grew up with. And he did not want to insult his Mother. "I mean no insult, Mother... I was just curious."

Amanda felt as if she were on the edge of something important. She had no idea where the conversation was going, but Spock did not speak out of idle curiosity. Ever. If he wanted to know, it was important. She thought back to his first question, wanting to give him the information that he sought. She quickly assured him that no offense was taken and then proceeded to put him at ease, as she explained her bond for the first time with her son.

"Our bond may not be like the traditional Vulcan couple. Since I am not Vulcan I have no comparison. You would have to ask your Father about that." At her mention of his Father, Spock's expression closed up. Amanda quickly tried to continue, before he pushed her away.

"I think in a few ways, our bond may be stronger than the regular Vulcan pairing." Spock's eyes locked on his Mother, clearly showing his interest, more than merely casual. Encouraged, she continued. "I feel impressions, emotions, and in certain scenarios, I have understood whole distinct conversations, if the emotional expression is heightened. Maybe that is the human influence. I am not sure, but your Father has been overwhelmed by the experience on several occasions." Spock unconsciously leaned forward, his whole attention on his Mother now. Amanda could not help but notice. A sudden suspicion pulled at her subconscious. With no time to speculate on the possibility she focused on her son's next questions.

" How did it overwhelm Father? How did he learn to control the intensity?" Encouraged by his intense curiosity and heartened by animation on his face, Amanda desperately wished that Sarek would be the one answering her son's questions. He would be able to explain properly. Shakily she continued to explain.

"My tendency to let my emotions get away from me, seemed to override his notorious control. He often told me it made him weak in the knees." Amanda was amazed to see total understanding in her son's eyes, and something more... justification. _My God, her son had found someone human. _The thought overwhelmed her mind with hope. He would not be alone after all. She had not realized that Spock had continued to question her until he repeated his question again.

"How did he learn to control the situation, if it left him overwhelmed, how was he able to cope?"

"It was not easy. It took a lot of practice." Amanda smile at the memory of all that practice, then sobered a little at other memories. She wished that there was someone that they could have confided in. It might have saved them a lot of heart ache. Suddenly she realized that she could save her own son the same heart ache if given the chance.

"Apparently, there is an imbalance when a human and a Vulcan try to form a bond. Instead of a two way flow, it tends to be more one way, causing an emotional override for the Vulcan half of the bond. Vulcans do not process the emotions on the same level and it causes confusion, mood swings, sometimes paranoia.

The longer the connection, the more intense the symptoms can accelerate. It takes a healer to form the correct balance. To continue the relationship without the proper guidance can cause injury." Her warning was being taken seriously, by her son who seemed to absorb the advise. Amanda felt like she would burst with her happiness. She wanted to grab her son and hold him tight, but knew to do so would end their conversation, and she wanted desperately for it to continue. She wanted to know whom had stolen her son's heart. What kind of woman was she? When would he be comfortable talking to her about her? How far had the relationship developed?

The intimate conversation was interrupted by a Vulcan aide that requested Amanda's presence. She felt so frustrated that she was barely civil to the Vulcan, but stood up to apologize to her son for the intrusion. Spock assured her that they would have time later to continue their conversation. As she turned to leave, she gave into her desire and held her son in a tender embrace filled with her pleasure. And she did not miss the quick tightening of his arms as he encircled her for one brief moment before his stance resumed his rigid formation. But it was enough.

**Just a couple more chapters of background before we reach the present. Hope you like my take on the background story. Remember it is just my opinion, no offense meant. I see Spock as vulnerable, when it comes to facing his human side. And very protective as well. Hope you enjoy this chapter. **


	8. Chapter 8 Connections

**Chapter 8 Connections**

Uhura kept her head down close to her PADD, the words blurring before her eyes as she tried her best not to listen to the gossip that drifted to her ears, from all around her, the last few minutes before the lecture was about to start. This was the first class that she had attended since the commander was relieved of his post.

"Hello beautiful, did you miss me?" Uhura startled, looked up at the last person she expected to see in class. Charlie stared down at her, leaning lazily against the empty seat next to her. Without any grace he plopped down next to her, smiling like the cat who just ate the canary.

"How did you get reinstated?" Uhura's breathy question vibrated with her surprise.

"Commandant Mendez reviewed my case and found it to be executed with prejudice. He gave me another chance. Lucky me huh." His smile twisted with menace as Instructor Hall entered the auditorium, starting the class with her burst of energy. Charlie's gaze remained fixed on the Cadet, who was paralyzed to do anything but stare back. Eventually, he turned toward the front of the hall.

Uhura let go of the breath that she had been holding. Trying to stop the tremors that ran through her she frantically tried to think how this could possibly happen. When she walked out of the review board last year she thought that, she would never have to look upon him again. Never would she have believed that he could be reinstated after his guilty verdict. She thought back to the scariest night of her life.

* * *

_It didn't take long for her to get back into the swing of things. Uhura gazed across the bar at the patrons in various stages of intoxication. It was like coming home. She was so glad that her uncle finally reached out with an olive branch. Uhura was just sad that it took his illness for him to let go of his pride and ask for help. She left him at the hospital, assured that she would take care of his baby while they ran their tests. Between his friends, they had all shifts covered. And she really didn't mind manning the bar a couple of nights a week. Surprisingly, it had other benefits that she hadn't relied on but was so grateful for. _

_Her gaze wondered to one said benefit sitting in the corner, back straight silently keeping vigil, so alien to the other patrons around him. Ironic that he spent so much energy avoiding her, only to follow her on her shifts, afraid for her safety. She wasn't complaining. She sought every opportunity to get his guard back down, to get him to accept his feelings. The rides to and from the campus were helping her to break through the mortar holding the bricks of his wall that he had built around himself. Little by little she was allowed into his private world._

_When they were alone it was different. She felt as if her efforts were accomplishing something. But when they were surrounded by people, it was as if he could see right through her. Like right now. She couldn't let him retreat. With the temporary lull at the bar she headed toward his table. _

"_What can I get you?" Spock blinked up at her question. "You kind of look suspicious just sitting there with nothing to drink. It is a bar you know?" _

"_I am well aware that this is an establishment for the purpose of retailment and distribution of alcohol." Uhura smiled at his deflection. _

"_Well, I am sure you are also aware that it is considered loitering to just sit there without ordering." Spock eyes darted around the bar, although he never turned his head, his actions hinting at his discomfort. _

"_Cadet, I do not want to give the impression that we were violating Starfleet regulation policy, by engaging in activity..." Uhura cut him off._

"_I am working, you are patronizing the facility. Small talk is part of my job requirements. That's all Spock. What are you afraid of?" Her question put him on the defensive. _

"_Fear is not an emotion that I practice in..." Again she cut him off._

"_Nothing can happen at the bar, Spock, nothing." She leaned down to get closer to him, "However, if you want to step into the back room, I am sure the probability that something might happen would be significantly higher." Spock's mouth dropped open at his shock. Before he composed himself to argue further, she waved her hand toward the bar. "Come on, sit at the bar and keep me company, while it is dead, and I'll fix you something special. Come on I won't bite...much." At his hesitation, she nodded as if it was decided and headed back to her station. She busied herself with the bottles, mixing a nice non alcoholic fruity concoction._

"_Hey, girlie, how's it going?" Uhura's head popped up at the gravelly voice, her face lighting up at the surprise. "It's been a long time since I've seen you manning the tap." Uhura leaned over the bar top, on the tips of her toes, to give the older man a hug._

"_McNally, it's good to see you! I almost did not recognize you out of your uniform." Leaning back, she accepted his compliment that she was looking well, then she bit her lip to keep herself from smiling as Spock set himself in the seat next to McNally, giving him a look, laced with warning. Without another word, she placed the drink she made in front of the Commander. He broke his intent stare to gaze at Uhura in question. She told him to drink up and then turned her attention to the other man, whom had continued his conversation. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him sniff the drink, before taking a tentative taste, and noticed his appreciation of the cocktail._

"_Hey, sorry to hear about your uncle. How's he doing?" His sympathy dampened her mood and she told him about the tests that he was going through. If his heart was as bad as they thought, he would need surgery. He might be out as long as a month. Throughout the conversation Spock sipped his drink, his rigid posture easing as he ascertained the older man's relationship to the Cadet as non threatening. Uhura introduced the police officer to her commander. McNally did not try to shake hands with the Vulcan and Uhura grateful. He looked awkward enough without unintentionally insulting the cop. _

"_Well, you tell Hanori not to worry about this place. You tell him that I will keep an eye out for him. Nothing will happen with the SFPD on the job." Uhura thanked him for his concern and then turned to a couple that had waved to get her attention. _

"_Boy, she sure knows her way around the bar." Uhura smirked at the officer's offhanded compliment, as she leveled the head off of the mug of beer before handing the drink to the gentleman and then started to make the mixed drink for the lady. _

"_Ms. Uhura is more than proficient in any endeavor that she applies herself to." Spock's reply puffed up her ego and she twirled the two bottles in her hands before pouring them simultaneously. "It is most advantageous to be on her side of any campaign ." Uhura turned to look at Spock her head tilted in question to his statement. _

"_She's always been a go-getter. Once she's had her mind made up, there was nothing or no one that could ever stop that little lady." Spock's eyes never left Uhura's as McNally made his statement. _

"_From my own experience, I would have to concur to your observation." Uhura no longer heard the patrons at the bar, even the light seemed to dim as she tried to read meaning hidden in his words. His eyes locked with hers, were willing her to understand, but she wasn't sure if he was surrendering, or if he were asking her to admit defeat. She was broke from her own reverie by thirsty patrons at the table in the front, whom she wasn't aware when they had arrived. She did not recognize them until she was beside their table._

_Charlie and Hendorff obviously had started their recreational intoxication earlier in the evening, by their macho attitudes. Uhura was in no mood to deal with their shenanigans and applied a business manner when asking them for their order. "What will you two have tonight._

_Before she noticed Charlies arm around her waist, he was pulling her into his lap. "I would like to make a substitution on the menu." Uhura jerked her face away from his potent breath. She yanked his arm away from her applying pressure and twisting his index finger backwards, as she tried to stand up. _

"_I don't have time for this boys. If you want to order drinks, then do so, or leave." A shadow fell over her, in her half crouch, and she feared that Spock would make a scene. However, when she looked up it was McNally's angry face she looked into._

"_We don't need any trouble tonight. Order your drinks and keep your hands to yourselves." Charlie sat up with his hands up in the air, to show his surrender. He was aware of the policeman's reputation. _

"_No trouble officer, just playing around. Uhura never complained before." The last said with hurtful pride. She felt a moment of guilt. It was true that a few weeks ago she had used him to get Spock to admit his feelings. She hadn't thought of his own feelings at the time, only the objective and now regretted it. Although sometimes he could be a real jerk, she still didn't want to hurt him. _

" _No hard feelings. What can I get you two?" She asked again, hoping that they would make quick work of their order and leave early. They ordered beers and she turned around to head back to the bar. McNally made his way to the restroom, keeping his eyes on the boys. Uhura noticed that Spock had stood up but stayed by the bar, his eyes on her, asking silently if she were ok. She smiled at him hoping it looked more genuine than it felt. "Nothing to worry about."_

_Just as she made her way around him, she felt his hand on her shoulder. Shocked he would initiate physical contact she stopped and turned back to him. Her eyes drifted to his hand before locking on his face, filled with unspoken question. He looked at her, but she could tell that he was not really seeing her. It was as if he were preoccupied with solving a difficult equation in his head. He blinked and seemed satisfied with his computation. She wasn't sure if she felt the momentary pressure of his fingers as if he were giving her a reassuring squeeze or if she had imagined it, before he let go of her completely and resumed his seat at the bar. Dazed she continued to her station and poured the beers. _

_The couple at the other end of the bar asked for sodas, apparently calling it quits. Uhura tapped the cola button, but was irritated to find only seltzer coming out. The tank was apparently empty. She motioned to them that it would take a moment and picked up the beers. As she made her way around Spock she whispered in his ear, "We can both go into the back and get the soda canister." At Spock's look, she added, "Nothing would happen... unless you wanted it to." She continued to the front table, not looking back. _

_Charlie was sitting slumped back in his seat, complaining to Hendorff, his fingers busy shredding a cocktail napkin. She placed the drinks on the table, not bothering to make small talk, but turned to leave. Charlie stopped her with his sarcastic comment._

"_Since when does the commander frequent rundown bars? I thought he was above all of us imperfect humans." Uhura found no answer for him. Hendorff looked back and forth between the two, maybe looking for hints of a fight about to breakout. She remained silent hoping that he would drop it. But he didn't . "He seemed pretty friendly with you though. What were you two whispering about?"_

_For the first time she feared that she had gone too far with her attempts to get Spock to open up in public. What did they really see? Better to play it down._

"_Commander Spock is no concern for any of us. I better get back to work." She made it back to the bar much more sombre and contemplative. McNally had resumed his seat next to Spock. She busied herself with the empty glasses, filing the tub and began to wipe down the bar. She could feel Spock's eyes on her but she refused to acknowledge it as she tried to think things through. The couple waved to her reminding her that they still did not get their colas. She automatically went back to the tap before she remembered that she still needed to replace the tank. _

_Uhura threw her bar towel down and turned to get the tank from the backroom._

"_Do you require assistance?" Uhura turned back at Spock's inquiry. His voice sounded tentative, as if he wasn't quite sure how she would react to his question. He looked so vulnerable that she almost gave in, damn the cadets, but reason won out. Her lips twitched at the irony. Finally, he was opening up, when she could not accept his offer. Looking back to the table with the cadets, she cursed the situation under her breath. He followed her gaze, stiffening as the implications came to him. _

"_You don't need to lug that heavy canister, girl, I'll get it." McNally offered as he got off his stool and started toward the back of the bar. Uhura stopped him, though. _

"_No, it's alright, I'm used to it. But I could use your help. Step behind the bar for me. It will only take a couple of minutes." McNally protested, but Uhura would not back down._

"_Really I've got this. I've never needed help before. Just man the bar and I will be back." She looked one last time to the cadet's table and noticed only Hendorff was at the table looking nervously at the entrance. Maybe he took off. That would be a relief. She pushed through the double doors and went down the half dozen steps to the basement, turning on the light and groaning at the chaos at the once organized room. It was going to take a little longer than she originally thought to even find the spare tanks. _

_As she sorted through the mess, she couldn't help but think that today was definitely a turning point. For Spock to volunteer to go into a room alone with her was unthinkable. To offer when there were people around, a lot of people, was incredible. She couldn't wait until the customers cleared out. Once they had a little privacy, she was definitely going to press the issue. She was not about to let him back down, now that he had come so close to acknowledging his own feelings. _

_Uhura heard the footsteps coming down the stairs, as she located the needed canister, and could not hold her grin back. She would have to give him a gold star for extra effort. Uhura did not think he would have the nerve come down on his own. _

"_I can't tell you how glad I am that you came anyway. Why don't you come here and give me a hand or two." Uhura's smile disappeared from her face as the Cadet entered the room, anger radiating from his stiff stance._

"_What's the matter, expecting someone else?" Uhura stared back at the cadet, not sure what to say. He took another step into the room and watched her as she dragged the cola canister from the corner of the room. The whole time she felt his eyes boring into her back. What did she just say? Did she say Spock's name? Standing up she looked over her shoulder. Charlies eyes were steel flint as he tracked her movements. He made her nervous. All she wanted was for him to leave. _

"_What do you want Charlie?" Her tone was brassy, hiding her anxiety. "I have a bar full of customers, I don't have much time." Leaning against a metal shelf he made himself at home, as if time was not a factor to him at all. _

"_What do you want?" Uhura's voice rose in her frustration. _

_Straightening up from the support of the shelf, he made a slow stride to her side, his hand lifting to brush back her hair, "What do I want? You want to know what I want?" Uhura pushed his hand away, repulsed by his touch. How could she ever think that he was harmless. Charlie breath reeked of the tequila that he must have drank before entering the bar. The fumes made her blink as she stepped back out of his reach, but he just followed her, invading her personal space. She tried again to evade his presence. _

"_I changed my mind, I don't care what you want. Just go." Charlie lunged for her just as she stepped around him, grasping her by her upper arms, pulling her toward his chest. _

"_That's your problem, you know. You just keep changing your mind. You are nothing but a little tease. Bar trash tease. Always promising but never delivering. Well I am tired of waiting. Its time for me to collect." Uhura did not have a chance to duck before he plastered his lips across hers, forcing her mouth open to plunge his tongue in, activating her gag reflex. Instinctively she bit down until she tasted blood. _

_Charlie jerked back cursing her in pain. Uhura took advantage by forcing the heel of her hand into the Cadet's nose until she heard a distinctive crunch. Clutching his face, Uhura kicked his shin as hard as she could and then tried to sprint to the doorway, but he grabbed the back of her shirt and swung her around him to stop her from escaping. The forward momentum threw off her balance until her feet flew out from under her and she felt airborne. She knocked over the steel shelving, trying to grab a hold on anything to regain her feet, but failed. Falling, she twisted her body until she faced up to the ceiling. She did not know she was heading for the canister until she felt the back of her head making contact. _

_A brilliant white light replaced her vision as pain threatened to take her consciousness. Stunned she could only lay there as Charlie crawled over her prone body. Spitting up blood, he straddled her and reached for the collar of her shirt. With both hands he pulled outward, ripping the cloth straight down until it gaped open, revealing her standard issue white cotton bra. _

_Time seemed to float as she watched Charlie as he groped her, unable to move, her throat closed off to her frantic mental pleas for help. The pain from the back of her head rolled through her in increasing waves, forcing her stomach to revolt, threatening to force it's way passed her lips. This could not be happening to her. Tears clouded her vision as she watched Charlie yank at her bra. Just as she closed her eyes to ride the crest of the latest wave of pain, she felt Charlie's weight give way and fresh air swirled around her. _

_Fatigue pulled her to the blackness. She did not know how long she had laid there before she felt his hand on her again. Uhura's anger gave her enough strength to try to push him away, as she cringed back from his touch. As if hearing from underwater, she heard her name called. Again she felt a hand placed across her cheek. A warm hand. A very warm hand, and suddenly she knew it was not Charlie, but Spock that was beside her. What strength that she had gathered, left her and she gave into the tears that threatened to overwhelm her. _

* * *

"Mr. Spock, there is a Matthias Anders in the conference room, requesting your presence." The Vulcan aide bid the commander to follow him. Spock stood up from the couch that he had visited with his mother, and followed the other Vulcan into the hallway.

"Mr. Spock." He stopped to turn to the woman who had called his name. She was clothed from head to foot in a flowing gray cloak that concealed her face. The voice was vaguely familiar. Trying to place the face to the voice, he paused as the figure approached him. Lifting her gloved hands, she grasped the hood of the cloak and pushed it back to reveal Lissan. "It has been too long. I was just thinking of you. How have you been?"

Spock looked back at the Andorian, wondering what she was about. She was not on such a familiar status with him, and normally would not seek him out, much less think about him. He stared down at her raised hand. Spock was not about to shake hands with her. As an ambassador, she was well versed in the protocols of the membered species of the Federation, and therefore knew that physical contact was repugnant and avoided by Vulcans. Lissan, clearly losing her battle with her well known temper raised her shoulders and pointed with her head, her outstretched hand.

"Ambassador sh'Zarath, the assembly is waiting." Spock stiffened at the sound of his Father's voice. Looking to the older man he raised his hand in greeting, thinking of his Mother's declaration of his Father's failing health, he took a closer look. Sarek looked older, but then it had been ten years since he had departed Vulcan. Did he just imagine the new drawn lines that marked his face, the dark circles under his eyes? Serak did not so much as acknowledge his son by raising his own hand, but his face tightened in his disapproval in detaining the Andorian from her duties.

Again Sarek tried to gain the Andorian ambassador's attention. Lissan sighed in frustration, her hand still outstretched for Spock to take. In exasperation she dropped it to clench into a fist that matched her other hand at her side and turned toward the Vulcan ambassador as she whispered under her breath that Vulcans were so obtuse and that she was going to raise her fee.

"I am coming Ambassador." Lissan pulled up her hood and marched down the hallway, flanked by her guards. The Vulcan aide motioned for Spock to follow him the rest of the way down the hall. His hand clasped in front of him, he followed the other to the conference room where his council waited for him. The aide opened the door and moved out of Spock's way to let him in.

Matthias was seated at the far end, with Captain Pike on his left. Spock greeted the two men and took the seat on the right. Papers were organized into neat piles on the table and the councilman had a bright smile on his face.

"Good morning Mr. Spock. I have been busy since our last meeting, burning the midnight oil, so to speak, and can say with confidence that the majority of the witnesses are not creditable and should be fairly easy to dispute in cross examination. Since the burden of proof is on the prosecution's shoulders, I really don't see why they have pushed these accusations forward.

"Do you know who the primary accuser is? Obviously, some hard ass has a grudge against Spock for some reason." Pike spoke up, his anger on behalf of his officer, surprisingly a comfort to Spock, the sting of his own Father's rejection still fresh.

"The common denominator to the witnesses are students, not very exceptional students at that. I have all of their profiles, with the exception of one. Very peculiar... there is a glitch in the academy's records. For the last year he doesn't seem to exist, yet his classes are complete. I was not able to reach him yesterday." Matthias disturbed his piles until he found the one that he wanted. Pikes's eyes scanned the students name and recognition lit his eyes.

"Charles Henwick, one big trouble maker. I thought that he was suspended." Spock snatched the paper from Matthias' hands. He quickly scanned the contents, trying to read between the lines, as he answered his Captain, resisting the urge to get up and leave the conference room.

"Yes, he was expelled from the Academy about a year ago. This paper states that he is registered in my class. I can assure you that he has not attended said class this semester. Your records are flawed." Spock's voice was firm and a bit condescending.

"Well, I talked to his roommate this morning, and he was on his way to that class. Ms. Hall is the substitute until this mess is cleared up, but he is definitely in that class."

Spock's eyes darted to Pike as his mind went through the possible scenarios of how this could be possible. And the outcomes came to the same conclusion. Nyota was in very real danger if Henwick was indeed on campus. He could not let her get hurt again. Both of the other men protested as Spock got up, his determination written on his face.

"Well, where the hell do you think you are going?" Pike interjected as Spock's hand reached for the door knob. Forcing his frustration below the surface, the commander turned back to his Captain.

"If this information is valid, then Cadet Uhura could be in real danger. I have to inform her so that she will be able to protect herself." Before he could turn around Pike was on his feet and moving to his side. Matthias put in his own two cents.

"As your council, I do not advise that, Mr. Spock. You are warned not to be in the Cadet's presence. I also advised you to inform me of all pertinent information to properly prepare your defense. If you have information, that is not on the paper, you still hold in your hand, I would appreciate it if you would let me in on it." Spock felt conflicted, his mind agreeing with his council, but his body primed for flight. His stomach clenched at the thought that Nyota could be with Charlie at this very moment and he was helpless to protect her.

"Wasn't he in trouble for fighting with another cadet or something like that? I know that he was no longer on my rotations for recruitment detail, and heard from one of the cadets it was hushed up because of his parents." Spock held back his indignation at that statement. It was quieted because of the nature of the charge, and the involvement of the other cadet. Nyota had asked for privacy. Now he was about to expose the whole ordeal. He swallowed the betrayal and answered the two gentlemen.

"He was expelled for assault and attempted rape of another cadet. The board held their discretion in deference to the victim. He has not been on campus for the past year, I imagine that the civilian charges would still have him in a penal facility. If he is indeed on campus, enlisted in classes, then there has to be influence from the board. I have to ..." Matthias stood up clapping his hands on the table for emphasis.

"Spock if Uhura knows of the victim then she needs to have that person come forward. It is possible that they are covering the whole incident up, and that it may be involved in this case. We need more information..." Spock interrupted the councilman, finally at a loss for his patience. His voice broke as he pleaded his case.

"Nyota Uhura is the victim. Charlie tried to rape her. He was expelled. He blames her for all of his problems. While we are arguing, she could be fighting for her life. I have to stop him." Pike patted Spock on the shoulder to assure him.

"I'm going right now. I will collect her and take her to a safe place. No one will hurt her. Don't worry." Spock saw the promise in Chris' eyes. Matthias waited for the Captain to leave, then motioned for Spock to take his seat, but the commander found more comfort in pacing the floor. Matthias gave him a moment to compose himself, before he asked for clarification.

His mind was in turmoil. How could this be happening? How could he fail to protect her a second time?

"Commander? Would you please explain?"

* * *

"_Mr. Spock, why don't you go check on her instead of boring holes in the doorway with your eyes." McNally commented as he leveled the head of beer on the mug he was filling. "Maybe she needs help with the canister, you know how heavy they are. She was just too proud to ask for help." Spock turned his unblinking stare toward the officer , before he continued his surveillance of the doorway. _

"_And encourage the wrath of Cadet Uhura? You heard her, she could take care of herself." Spock stated, not so certain as he sounded. He almost felt rejected at her denial of his offer. Almost. Again he looked back to see only Hendorff fidgeting at the table. Where did the other cadet go? _

_Suddenly a muted sound of a crash could be heard on the other side of the double doors. McNally tilted his head as if he wasn't sure he heard what he did, but Spock was already off the stool and running to the back. What if she fell trying to move the canister up the stairs? She could be hurt right now, and he was just sitting at the bar. If she was hurt it was his fault. McNally was right behind his heels, both of them making a loud racket as they made their way down the stairs, at least she didn't fall from them._

_Bursting through the basement door, he froze at the sight of Charlie straddled over Uhura, his hands twisted in her bra. Rage blurred his vision as he raced forward and flung the Cadet to the other side of the room, crashing into the shelving that held the miscellaneous glassware, creating a viscous cacophony of sound. Charlie's body crumpled to the ground, his only protest a low moan in the back of his throat. _

_Spock ignored the officer's protest as he followed the cadet's flight, to pick him up again to land a force filled punch to his gut, then send him flying to the other side of the room. Hendorff pushed his way into the room, his eyes so round, defying physics by staying in his head. Taking his own life into his hands, McNally tried to get between the commander and the cadet, afraid if he didn't, that he would be adding homicide to the charges of the night. In all of the chaos, Spock's ears picked up Nyota's whimpers and that alone dampened his rage more than any pleas from the officer. _

_He dropped the lifeless body of the cadet and made his way to Uhura's prone body. Gently, his hands scanned her body for injuries. There was blood on her face and a small ever increasing pool by the side of her head. Scratches and darkening patches of bruises were making their appearance across the majority of exposed skin. Spock could not keep up with the swirl of heated emotions that fought for control in his aching head. He did not know if he wanted to get up and pound the cadet into the basement floor, or if he wanted to gather Nyota into his arms and race for safety, far from this dark place. _

_Uhura's cries of pain made up his mind, as he tried to lift her up. Immediately her hands came up defensively, weak in their attempt to protect herself. Spock choked on her name, trying to assure her that she was now safe. He backed away for a moment until she stilled, afraid to add to her injuries. _

_At her silence, he caressed her cheek, the only place that did not have a bruise, wanting only to comfort. Her hand reached up to push him away before she recognized him, only to clutch his hand as if a lifeline the next moment. _

"_We need to call an ambulance." McNally cautioned when he saw the commander start to pick her up. _

"_It would take too much time. I will get her to the hospital much quicker by taxi." Spock declared as he rose with the cadet clutched to his chest, careful of the wound at the back of her head. Nyota broke her silence as a torrent of tears forced from her chest. He heard McNally asking Hendorff to watch the other cadet as he made his way up the stairs to get backup, but ignored the urge to take care of the cadet himself. _

"So you are telling me that Charles Henwick was responsible for Cadet Uhura's injuries, and was expelled only to be reinstated a year later, with no said charges on his record. That they just disappeared as if they never happened. Because the way his record reads, there was no gap. He has grades for classes that he did not attend in the past year." Spock had no answers for the council so he remained silent looking out the only window in the room. He was tired of repeating the story that had left a bitter taste in his mouth. He never wanted to relive that moment in his life ever again.

"I believe that I need to investigate this further before the start of the hearing tomorrow. I trust you to stay here at the embassy and not to do anything rash that would jeopardize your case. You would do infinitely more harm trying to save the cadet. Let the Captain take care of Ms. Uhura Spock." Matthias gathered up his notes and stored them in his briefcase. He paused at the door, about to reiterate his warnings, but noticed the commander was still staring out the window, lost in his own private hell, and knew that it would be a waste of time.

* * *

_Uhura sighed her relief as she slowly made her way into her dorm room. Spock was close by her side, not quite touching. He eased the door shut and looked around the room, her roommate nowhere in evidence, both beds still made. Uhura made it to her bed and sat down warily, careful not to jar her head. _

"_Thank you for bringing me home. I'll just go to bed now, I'll be just fine tomorrow." Spock stared at her from across the room. He had his suspicions that she was lying about her roommate's whereabouts to the attending physician when he threatened not to release her without a promise that someone would be available to watch her for the next 24 hours._

"_Cadet Galia is not here." Uhura didn't bother to answer him but concentrated on removing her boots. Unfortunately, that involved lowering her head, which Spock noticed increased the lines of pain in her face. Torn between fearing that she would cringe at his nearness, and the need to save her from any further pain, he slowly made his way to her side slipping to his knees. She sighed in pleasure as his delft hands made quick work of taking off her boots, but she made no move to lay down. _

"_Do you need anything? Would you like something to drink?" Spock asked, alarmed at her pallor. He felt so helpless, so out of his depth. She moved her eyes, careful not to move her head and asked for water. He got up relieved to be able to do something with his hands. _

_Taking the cup from his him she managed to take a couple of sips before the effort was too much. Handing him back the cup, she reached for her pillow and clutched it to her chest. _

"_Thank you for bringing me home." Spock placed the cup on the table, close to her reach and then resumed his place at the other side of the room. Worried that her mental faculties were affected by the concussion, he commented on her statement._

"_You have already thanked me. And I will not leave you alone. The doctor stated that someone needed to monitor you for the next 24 hours." He took her silence as a sign that she felt uncomfortable to be alone with him. Understandable under the circumstances. He could not imagine what could be going through her head at this time. "If you would be more comfortable with someone else, I will gladly contact them, but I will not leave you alone until then." _

"_Spock I don't want anyone else. I am fine. Don't worry about me." Spock chastised her for her tendency to understate her problems._

"_You are not fine. And I can't help but be concerned for you." Uhura blinked back her tears. _

"_I think I'll just take a shower." Spock wasn't sure if that was a good idea, but he didn't contradict her. He watched her stagger to her closet and pull out a terry robe, he instinctively stepped forward as he watched her sway on her feet. She turned back searching his face. Spock wished he knew what she was thinking, what she wanted. He wanted to assure her that everything would be alright, that he could make it alright, but he also knew that it was not in his power. He wanted to take away her pain. He wanted to tell her... but he knew all the things he wanted to say were trapped inside himself. _

_She seemed to fold inside herself as she entered the bathroom, the door's click the only sound in the room. Spock moved his surveillance to the other side of the door, his head pressed against the wood panel. Images of her lying on the basement floor formed behind his closed eyes. Straightening up, he forced scene back, only to be replaced with her small form lying so lifeless on the hospital bed. _

_Her tears brought him back to the present. Just when he reached his limit and with his hand on the door knob, she opened the door and stumbled out of the door way, enfolded in her robe. He caught her before she lost her footing. Uhura's face was red with the heat from the shower, her skin felt hot to his touch, which meant she was trying to burn the cadets touch from her body. Spock's breath hitched at the thought. He tried to steady her, and as soon as she was on her feet he let her go. _

"_You don't have to stay." Uhura's voice wobbled as much as her gate as she made it back to the side of her bed. _

"_Do you want me to leave?" _

_Spock's question irritated her. Clutching her robe she flung her accusation at him. "You are acting like you don't want to be within 50 feet of me. If I repulse you please go."_

"_I don't want to go. And you don't repulse me. I am afraid to get close to you. I don't want to hurt you. I don't know what you need." The words poured out of his mouth, then jammed up. There was so much he wanted to tell her, but he didn't know how. All of his life was spent in burying his feelings, not analyzing them and defining them. He turned from her gaze embarrassed at his failure to make his thoughts known._

"_Can you hold me?" Her whispered request was so laced with fear of being rejected, that he found himself at her feet before he realized he had moved. He held her hands as if they would break, as he searched her face for signs of fear. When he found none, he moved to the side of the bed and gently took her into his arms, stiff from lack of experience, but not from want. _

_He felt her brace herself from pain as her head rested on his chest, but then relaxed into him a sigh on her lips. She spoke from her haven in his arms._

"_Why did you keep your distance, if you weren't ashamed of me?" Spock's lips found the top of her head as he sought the right words, but none would come. She looked up at him pleading to understand. _

"_I did not think you wanted anyone to touch you...Nyota, with what you just went through, and knowing it was my fault..." She shushed him by placing her fingers on his lips. Spock closed his eyes at her touch, but opened them at her next questions, not bothering to hide the pain in them. _

"_It was not your fault. How could you possibly blame yourself for what he did to me?" Spock opened his mouth but no words came out. If only he could show her. Never had he longed for a bond with anyone than he did for her at this moment. Only realizing now what a treasure a true bond could be. Uhura reached up and placed her lips where her fingers were a moment before. He blanched at the contact of all her emotions as they rolled over him. He felt her fear and pain, her mental rejection of his actions this morning. Almost too much to bear, with an audible gasp, he broke the kiss_

_He hated the the way she cringed back as if he were denying her touch. Taking a breath he tried another approach to intimacy, more common with his people. Taking her hand, he placed her fingers in the traditional formation before placing his own against hers. Uhura's confusion did not stop her from trying to follow his movements. And although it felt pleasant and much more controllable on his end, he could tell that it was still only a one way communication. He must have let his disappointment and frustration show on his face, because Uhura eyes began to fill with tears again. _

"_I' m sorry. I must not be doing it right." Spock lifted her chin as gently as possible and placed his lips against hers. He tried to show her how he felt through their contact, but again he was overwhelmed by her mental needs. And broke away to rest his forehead against hers. _

"_I am the one who should apologize, it is not your fault but my own. I want... would you let me show you... Do you trust me?" Spock's broken speech had Uhura puzzled, but she shook her head in agreement, only to close her eyes at the pain. _

_She felt his fingers on her cheek and temple, soothing as they were warm to the touch. Then her head swam as she heard him recite words in a rhythmic cadence. _

"_My mind to your mind. My thoughts to your thoughts." Spock felt her mind opening, the fibers of connection vibrating, as if in the middle of one massive spiderweb. Forcing the first of his thoughts through one of the fibers, he waited for her response. He felt her laughter, echoing along the threads and an her answer. _

"_I can hear you. Maybe hear is the wrong word... word? I can see your thoughts, hear your memories. This is incredible. Unbelievable?" Uhura's thoughts, rushed through the connection, disjointed and fragmented as she strummed the strings, releasing images and memories. _

_Spock sighed in relief, as he showed her how he felt, how he worried for her, cared for her, feared for her. She sent him her reassurance as well as her want. Then was distracted by the vibrations, strumming alternating strings, eliciting thoughts and feelings that were as alien as well as very familiar in her own upbringing. She recognized bullies from his past, as well as parental disapproval. She viewed alien landscapes, seen only on halovids._

_She saw herself, as a child, that he did not know how to handle, she saw herself, and her achievements, through his eyes, and was amazed of his presence in the background of her life. She saw herself as he saw her now. She felt his conflict, his concern, and his waring emotions pertaining to her and how he built up coping mechanisms to handle his emerging emotions. She felt his pain. She felt his shame. She felt his joy. She felt his love. _

_Only once did Spock clamp down on a thread of connection, one connected to another, and for one brief moment, she felt another presence along side Spock, a very alien presence. But before she could acknowledge the entity, it was gone. _

"_Let me ease your pain." His words stroking her threads and before she could agree, she felt the waves ebbing until she felt her body float back. Opening her eyes she noticed that Spock had lowered both of them to the soft mattress, her head cradled to his shoulder as his fingers moved to stroke her hair from her face, then wiped the tears, from her cheeks, that she had been unaware of crying. "Sleep, it will be easier now." He finished his sentence in a gentle kiss to her lips. She was unable to control her eyes as they closed in peaceful slumber, the last image she had was of Spock as he watched her a hint of a smile on his lips. _

* * *

"Mr. Spock, I have been looking for you. Here." Lissan called to him, moving to the window. She clasped his hand and placed a note into his palm. "You sure do not make things easy, do you. Nyota owes me twice as much." Then she left in a whirlwind of motion, leaving the Commander frozen in place, looking at the piece of paper in his hand.

**Sorry I got Heddorff name wrong in the previous chapters. that the problem writing on the fly. Hope you like this chapter. it is filled with secrets to the plot. Sorry if I confused anyone. **


	9. Chapter 9 Revelations of the Greatest

**Chapter 9 Revelations of the Greatest Import**

"Amanda what are you doing at the window?" Not bothering to acknowledge her husband's question, she waved him over to her side. Sarek had been looking for his wife for quite a awhile. They had not parted in the most amicable of ways this morning, and it had weighed heavily on his mind. Contrary to what she accused him of earlier, he did not "go out of way to be difficult". The opposite was true. He was not comfortable when they disagreed. Sarek had canceled his last appointment and sought his wife to try to reconcile their differences. When the aide informed him that she was in his study, he had entertained a mode of hope that she had found reason and was open to reconciliation.

Sarek moved to Amanda's side, and waited for her to acknowledge him. And waited. Sighing softly, he realized that she had not had appropriate time to calm down. In most cases, she was quick to lose her temper, but was just as easily appeased, given a little time to see the reason and logic of the situation. He was tempted to remove himself, from the room and come back a more ideal time. But the disagreement was the most intense conversation that the two of them had participated in years. After much meditative contemplation, he had logically concluded that the subject matter was the root cause. Amanda was very protective of her only son.

"Wife I find myself concerned with the way we parted this morning, and seek an opportunity to amend the resolution."

Amanda's back stiffened, causing Sarek to mentally brace himself for her retort, but she remained silent. Somehow, he felt this was worse, than if she raised her voice at him. If she did then he could counter her volley with sound logic, but silence was impossible to counter. He feared the silence.

" I find it distressing, to have you angry at me...Amanda, will you not talk to me? This cannot continue." His wife's posture relaxed as she pushed away from the window. Serak released his pensive breath.

Tuning around she stated sadly, "No this can't continue. I don't like to fight with you either." Sarek shook his head, even though he knew she did not expect an answer, but he was just pleased that she was talking to him again.

"Do you really want to make amends to me?" Sarek again shook his head, a little wary at her tone. "Then talk to him." At his silence she rolled her eyes and turned back to the window. Involuntarily his hands went to her shoulders, but she wiggled out of his embrace.

"Amanda it is not that simple." She talked over his retort. Turning back to him, unable to speak without using her hands at this point, and Serak equally unable to help but view their flight in motion.

"Yes, it is that simple! You go to your son and you talk to him. You listen to him. You let him tell you what is going on in his life." Her eyes pleaded with her husband to let go of his pride, and his fear and let his son in. He stared back at her, his face lined in immovable determination. To others he would seem to be the model of Vulcan control, but she felt him probing her through their bond. She felt his frustration.

"Sarek, your son needs you." Amanda's voice dropped in volume but not emotion. Her husband broke eye contact first. Sarek's control on his own emotions slipped as his own insecurities leaked through his words.

"Spock does not need me. He made his own path years ago." Amanda clamped down on her own frustration, the old argument was indeed getting old. Sarek could not let go of the past.

"He made a decision on a career, he didn't choose Starfleet over you. At some point you need to realize your son has grown up, that his decisions are his own." Sarek's eye brow came up as he commented, and he waved his hand to their current surroundings.

"Yes, and he has done admirably so far." Amanda lightly backhanded her husband for his biting assessment.

"We all make mistakes," She stated, her eyes daring him to correct her words, then softened her tone to add, "You know he might not be in this predicament, if he had had privilege to your council." Sarek immediately started to deflect her observation as invalid but she followed his movement, staying in his face as she continued, " He might not have always followed your advice, but he was open to it. Sarek, he is going through some things right now that are out of his life's experience. He has no one to ask for advice. No one has gone through the same things except you."

"Wife..." Amanda met Sarek's condescending tone with one of her own.

"Husband..." Amanda turned back to the window, her full attention on the scene below. Sarek gathered his mental notes, preparing the best course of action to show his wife the illogical base to her reasoning, when he noticed that he had truly lost her attention. Again he had no control of the sigh that had escaped his lips.

"Amanda what could possibly be of import so paramount that it takes precedent to this discussion." Sarek waited for his wife to acknowledge him in vain. All of her focus was on the scene beyond the pane of glass. Sarek moved behind her, still able to see over her head, curious to see what captured her attention so easily. Below them the grass stretched out from the courtyard. Beyond that a formal garden reached to the walled structure that surrounded the Embassy. A lone bench was amerced in the colorful backdrop of the floral canvas. And on that bench was their only son.

He had grown in the years of their separation. His features Vulcan from the DNA composition necessary for his conception. Five attempts were made of various formulas before they were successful. Attempts... what a euphemism for the trauma that his wife was put through.

She had carried three of the five attempts to full term. Two had made it to delivery. One had been born alive. She had not given up... She had come close. She had almost succumbed to the depression... the desperation of knowing what you want most in all the world was just out of your reach. If it had been his decision alone to make he would have not attempted the fifth time. And it was that knowledge that ate at him in the most of inopportune times.

If it had been up to him, his son would not be sitting on that bench. But it had not been his decision alone to make. And he was grateful for that …. and for her. Sarek's hands found purchase on her petite shoulders, his fingers kneading her soft flesh. Amanda's head leaned into his gentle touch, her mind accepting his thoughts and feelings that he could not articulate out loud, even in the privacy provided by the quiet of the room.

"You know it might break the ice if you would let your son know how proud you are of him." Amanda felt her husband's hands pause in their administrations, and she felt his contradiction before he found his voice. Choosing not to take offense of his coping mechanism, she let him have his say.

"Pride is a human emotion, Amanda." Smiling she sought another avenue to voice her own opinion.

"His achievements are public record. He has set records of academics that have yet to be matched or surpassed in the last 10 years, is this not truth?" She felt her husbands agreement echo through their bond, and his approval to voice this without fear of being accused of the human emotion of pride to do so, because it was just statement of fact. So she continued.

"He has continued to do so in the human world, contributing to the academic world, opening the opportunity to enforce the bridge between our two worlds, has he not? To show humans the sound reason to embrace logic."

"Indeed." Sarek's voice solid and impartial, simply agreeing with fact.

"I would impart you with additional fact, husband." Amanda's speech influenced by her years with the Vulcan culture, but not by the emotion that laced it, sounding as if she were to burst if she did not share. Sarek's most non Vulcan curiosity was roused, as only she were capable of. He made the most human sound, guttural from the back of his throat for her to continue.

"Our son has found someone." Her words rang unfamiliar in his ears, as if the meaning were obscure.

"Would you care to elaboration on your statement?" Amanda turned in her husbands arms to face him, the prideful smile lighting her whole face. Her hands formed to his cheeks, the contact added to her connection through their bond, showering him with her happiness

"Our son has formed an attachment to someone. He is no longer alone." Again he felt no connection to her statement. Needing facts to give it weight he repeated his request for elaboration.

"This morning he expressed interest in the formation of our bond. He implied that he had some personal knowledge of the effects of said bond." Serak searched his wife's face, worried that she was jumping to conclusions, with circumstantial evidence, he tried to let her down easy.

"Amanda, do not assume because he expressed interest in his parents connections, that he has participated in the beginnings of a bond.

" My aide, Tadan observed a note exchange between the Andorian Ambassador and Spock. I am not sure what was on the note, but it relieved the anxiety that he was unable to control the whole morning. For the past hour he has been waiting in the garden. Pacing." Sarek's disbelief flowed through the bond, if it did not touch his face.

"Surely, you are not inferring that our son has formed an attachment to the Andorian Ambassador? There is no basis for your conclusion." Sarek could not see the possibility. He knew of the obstacles that he had faced and overcame to form his bond with a human. The idea of Spock forming a bond with an Andorian, one with Lissan's militaristic, mercenary personality was unfathomable. There would be no chance for Spock to seek a harmonious union. It would be filled with strife, a continual fight for dominance. He would not wish this for his son.

"I am not sure whom he has formed an attachment for, but I think we should support him. It was not so long ago, that we were in his same situation, that you don't remember what we had to go through? Don't you think it would have been so much easier, if you had someone to talk with, someone who could have guided you through the hardships that we had to face?"

Her questions were compelling. He admitted to himself that indeed, it would have spared both of them needless mis-communication, mis-directed assumptions, and heartache. But he knew that he would not be discussing any of these subjects with his son. It was just not done. Movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention and Amanda followed his direction.

Spock had stood up and faced the courtyard entrance, where the Andorian Ambassador was making her way toward the garden, flanked by her royal guard. Her flowing gray cloak enveloped her from the top of her head to the heels of her calf boots. In her obvious need to meet Spock, her determined stride increased until she was sprinting to his side. The guard had stopped their escort and waited in the archway. Spock had taken a couple of steps forward, his body tense as he searched the members of the guard as if seeking another.

Both Sarek and Amanda waited by the window, their fear and anticipation flowed between them, charging the very air between them. Lissan rushed to Spock and leaped into his arms, her hands going to the nape of his neck. Their son's stiff posture loosened before their eyes, as he bent forward and kissed the Andorian Ambassador with an ardor that had Sarek blinking in embarrassment at witnessing such an emotional display from his offspring.

Before either of the parents could comment, on the unlikely pair, Spock broke the kiss and pushed back the hood of the cloak to reveal a human that was not the Andorian Ambassador after all. Her dark complexion and beautiful long hair pulled back from her graceful face was such a surprise to Amanda that her sigh caught in her throat.

"She's beautiful." Spock's mother said as she clutched her husband's hand. She could not take her eyes off of her son and the woman in his arms. Spock had both of his hands framing her face, his lips moving in earnest conversation, her head nodding in answer, before his head lowered again to claim her lips, his arms enfolding her in his embrace.

Sarek stood there, frozen behind his wife. Never had he expected his son to show such a blatant display of emotion, out in the open for anyone to see. It was such a shock that his mind shut down, and Amanda felt nothing but static from the connection of the bond. The result of sensing her husband at a total loss of words had bubbles of laughter bursting from her lips.

Again Spock broke the kiss, only to move his fingers along her jaw and cheeks in a slow caress that ended with the sure placement of the psionic points to form a mind meld.

"I told you so." Never had she had greater pleasure at saying those words to her husband.

* * *

Spock opened his mind to Nyota as he forced his body to calm down. She was alright. She was safe. He sent his concern and love to her, his relief that she was safe. His arm tightened around her. Her thoughts floated to him, the connection stronger in their heightened emotions. She was close to being hysterical. He braced himself from the assault of her fear.

She showed him Charlie's return. He inquired how he could possibly get free and return to the academy. She rushed through her thoughts, filled with fear and guilt. Spock tried to make sense of the confusion, but Uhura pulled away and broke the connection, frustrated that she still was not well experienced enough to communicate effectively. She forced the words from her constricted throat.

"He promised if I dropped the charges that you would be safe. I couldn't let you lose everything because of me. I thought I was protecting you." Uhura eyes pleaded with him to understand. His confusion filled his own as he asked her to explain again.

"He said that you had used excessive force and had injured Charlie so much that you would be arrested for assault.. and that if I dropped the charges, they would not seek restitution on you." Spock, still not following her train of thought asked her who she was talking about.

"Commandant Mendez. He told me that your career was ruined and that you would be incarcerated for the rest of your life."

Spock's temper flared at the thought that Mendez was threatening Nyota at the most vulnerable time of her life. He was in no danger of being arrested. McNally's testimony was adequate enough that he was released from any charges. If he had known that she was being blackmailed, he would have prevented it. How had he not known? How could she keep this a secret from him? Again he felt her emotions surge toward hysterical proportions. He lowered his forehead to hers, his arms tightening in his need to keep her safe.

Looking up he asked if he could meld with her again, seeking the memories of her meeting with the Commandant.

* * *

"_Ms. Uhura please come in and have a seat." Commandant Mendez asked as he motioned her to a seat in front of his desk. She interred the room, wary of the invitation. No one wanted to be summoned by the head of the Academy. Worried that this might have something to do with her and Spock's new phase of their relationship, she cautiously sat down, trying to convey a sense of calm._

"_First I want to apologize for the horrible situation that you had the unfortunate opportunity to have experienced. No cadet should have to go through that." Uhura tried to keep eye contact with Mendez but found it impossible, and found herself staring at the neat stack of forms on his desk. His voice deep and filled with concern, had her eyes filling with unshed tears. _

"_The last thing that I want to happen is to see another victim in this tragedy." Mendez stood up and moved to the other side of the desk. Sitting down on the desk top he folded his hands on his lap. "Commander Spock has put himself in a dangerous position. The injuries that he perpetrated on the Cadet in defending you, have come to the attention of the board as well as the principle law enforcement agencies."_

"_I don't understand. I thought it was all over, when Charlie was expelled from the Academy." Uhura's voice broke, she thought that it was over. All that was left was his civil trial, that she was told she may not have to testify because of McNally's own eye witness account. She did not want to have to testify. And she did not want to involve the Commander. This was a nightmare that would just not go away. _

"_Rest assured, the cadet is expelled and will not come back. You do not have to worry. I am referring to the civil trial. If the Commander is called to testify and the evidence is presented, he will be indited for assault. The last thing this Academy or your instructor needs is that kind of publicity."_

_Uhura blinked still not quite understanding the implications. "I still don't understand. Charlie was not that injured. How could Sp...Commander Spock be in trouble. He was defending me."_

"_Ms. Uhura I am not saying what he did was not justified. He may not have realized that he was hurting him. Vulcans are uncommonly strong. He was protecting his student. However the law enforcement does not make distinctions." Uhura's tears started falling in earnest. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Spock. This was all her fault._

"_I didn't mean..." Uhura choked on her apology. Mendez placed his hand on her shoulder and tried to sooth her agitation. _

"_I know you didn't put yourself into this position on purpose. No more than Mr. Spock meant to put his career in jeopardy, when he defended you. However, the fact remains that he may lose everything he has worked for." Uhura's tears rained harder at the realization that she had ruined his life. _

"_It's not his fault. It's my fault. If I hadn't encouraged Charlie, this would never have happened. None of this would have happened."_

"_The world is full of what if's Ms. Uhura and we cannot worry about what ifs, but you can do something about this. You can save the Commander's career and livelihood." Uhura looked up at Mendez's hopeful face. Mendez continued. "If you drop the charges on Cadet Henwick, then the law enforcement would have no avenue to seek charges on Commander Spock. You have the ability to save the Commander. And give the cadet a second chance to make something of his life. After all you admitted that this whole situation was your fault. You are doing the right thing by taking the responsibility on yourself. Continue to do the right thing Cadet. Drop the charges." _

"But he was expelled..." Uhura flinched at the thought that he would be coming back to the academy. She still could not think to be in the same room with him. Her body started shaking in fear. Mendez's hand tightened on her shoulder in comfort. His voice dropped in timbre.

"He will remain expelled. I cannot justify his actions, but you have the ability to keep two men from being condemned for the rest of their lives. Think about it Ms. Uhura."

"But Mr. Spock.." Mendez quickly assured her.

"Does not have to know about this conversation. He does not need to know how close he was to losing his career. It can stay just between us. No need to stretch this out or cause any more publicity than has already been exposed. It is up to you."

Spock seethed at the memory as it played out before his eyes. Uhura flinched at the onslaught, mistakenly thinking it was directed at her. He quickly assured her that he was not upset with her, and that he was ashamed that she did not feel that she could come to him with this burden. How was she able to hide this from him? They had been mind melding for almost a year now, and though he only went where she gave him invitation, it must have taken an iron will power to keep it covered up and hidden from him. The torture she had gone through alone, made bitter emotions tied to the commandant boil below the surface of his control. To encourage her to take on the blame of the situation was inexcusable.

Spock surrounded her with thoughts of support. He assured her that none of this was her fault and that she never deserved the way the Cadet had treated her, had used her and that Mendez was no better.

Breaking the meld, he came to focusing on her eyes filled with pain and guilt. Spock lowered his head and kissed her, trying to show her how cherished she was in his arms. She gasped into his mouth, her tears falling freely in her release of having to hide these terrible things from him for so long. Breaking free he held her tight as he made a decision.

"We have to tell Matthias this. He has to know what and whom we are really dealing with."

**Next chapter starts the trial. And Spock and Sarek's first discussion together. Hope you like it. I know that I am taking a chance with the over used scenario of Uhura and some guy pushing his attentions, but I hope it will have new twists . I hope I haven't lost any readers over it. Maybe you've noticed the clues I've set. Maybe not. I hope you are enjoying the story. **


	10. Chapter 10 Family Matters

**Chapter 10 Family Matters**

The knock at the door broke Spock from his meditative stance. He rose from the floor in a fluid movement, more in control and at peace, than he had been in a week. When he opened the door, he was met with his Mother's aide, whom informed him, that his Mother had requested his presence. Spock followed the aide down the causeway, past the study, past the living quarters, to a back passage. He was unaware of the destination of his current journey, until the familiar aroma of blueberry pancakes assailed his senses. His Mother was making him breakfast.

"Come in and have a seat, they are almost done. Amanda waved a spatula at her son as she watched the bubbled process of the batter, on the griddle before her. Spock sat at the islander counter, already set for two, complete with fresh squeezed orange juice and berry compote, that he always had accompany his cakes. She had thought of everything. "Did you sleep well?" The innocent question was laced with motherly concern, that she could not hide from the timbre of her voice.

"Surprisingly well Mother." Spock hastened to add, to relieve his Mother of her worry for him, "I have confidence in my council's judgment, and that the out come of the hearing will be in my favor." Amanda's smile lacked her usual surge of energy as she turned the pancakes with an efficiency from vast experience. "Mother, please do not worry for me." Spock's plea was met with a typical Mother's unbelief.

"Spock, you are my son. How can I not worry for you? Will four be enough?" She changed the subject with the handing of his plate to him over the counter. He accepted the offering with gratitude and then placed it before him, only to watch her continue her chore of pouring more of the batter to the hissing griddle. The muted sounds of her endeavor, the combination of the sweet fruit, the buttery cakes, and the relaxed affection between the two occupants of the room, formed a small knot in the base of Spock's throat. All familiar images to his senses, formed a feeling of homesickness, that he rarely treated himself the ability to indulge in. But he was hard pressed to push the emotion down this morning. For he acknowledged that he was responsible in part for his own exile.

"I apologize for my lack of correspondence in the recent past." The words forced from his throat made raw by his guilt. Quickly, he reached for his juice to quench the hurt that was not truly physical. Amanda looked up from her task, surprise lit in her eyes at her son's confession, at his admission that he was aware of his thoughtlessness. " It was not my intention to abandon you. It was not well done of me, and I will make more conscious effort to amend my transgression."

For truth, she thought he was oblivious to his careless treatment of his mother, a product of his ongoing estrangement with his Father. An unfortunate bystander caught in the friendly fire of their private war. She had lived with her hurt, caught between her husbands pride, and her son's need to prove his worthiness in his father's eyes, on his own conditions. Neither side giving in to the other. Neither acknowledging that their actions caused her real pain. Unable to voice over the lump in her own throat, she shrugged her shoulders in acknowledgment and loaded her own plate.

"We still have time." Amanda was able to add, at her son's look of contrition. His mother made her way around the islander and took her seat next to Spock.

"The aroma is very pleasing. Thank you Mother." Amanda grabbed Spock's hand in acknowledgment, then bowed her head in grace for the meal. Spock silent in respect for his Mother's beliefs, looked at his Mother's bowed head noticing the gray hairs that formed at her temples. So much time had past by him unaware. Raising her head, Amanda smiled at her son's inspection. Spock's fingers reflexively squeezed back as his lips tilted upwards.

"Is there possibly more of the substance available for your famished husband?" Sarek's question broke the tender moment for mother and son, Spock dropped her hand and turned his focus on the food before him, not acknowledging his Father's presence behind him. Amanda stood up and beckoned for him to sit at her place, as she made her way to the griddle to add more batter on the still hot surface.

Sarek sedately made his way to the abandoned place setting. His eyes darted to his offspring, noticing that he was already dressed in his instructors gray uniform, his own meditative robes flowed around him as he took his seat. The relaxed, communal atmosphere, was nothing more than lifeless vacuum now, as the two older occupants of the room exchanged non verbal stares that spoke volumes, over their son, oblivious as he stared at his untouched meal before him.

Amanda motioned at Sarek to speak to his son, to make the first move. They had argued through most of the night, rather, Amanda voiced her opinion loudly, while he tried to reason with her logically, til he left their bed to seek peace through meditation. He was not oblivious to the fact that she made several valid points. It was not as easily amended as she thought it could be though. It was her eternal optimism that had first attracted him to her, that now had him on edge, nervous to make the first overture toward his son.

Again he looked at Spock. He had his hands folded in his lap, his posture straight, frozen, lack of any movement, except for a tick that pulsed at his left temple. Still Sarek sat there, searching for words. Words, from his private collection, a collection he had accumulated from the last 10 years. There was much to say, yet still he sat. From the corner of his vision he saw two more pancakes flip onto his plate to match his son's, as well as a peeled orange. Looking up into his wife's eyes, they exchanged glances, hers full of gratefulness as well as optimism, his with hesitation and wariness. But he was trying, and she could not ask for more.

"I will leave you to your meal." Spock's voice strained, as he rose from his chair. Amanda voiced her disappointment, but he thought it was for the best. He didn't want to ruin the moment he had with his Mother, by arguing in front of her. Once again hurting her, but unable stop himself. Bowing out gracefully, would only keep the peace of the moment. Spock froze at the firm grip of his Father's hand on his shoulder. He had not been aware that Sarek had moved.

"No stay." Only two words, but it was a start. Sarek looked into his son's eyes, so like his wife's, that he was monetarily stunned. They were wary, as if waiting for him to turn on him at any minute. Both father and son locked in silent taboo, waiting for the other to make the next move.

"Please, Spock." Amanda pleaded as she pulled him back to his seat and sat down on his other side, and picked up her fork. Sarek, on his other side pick up his as well and took a healthy bite.

"Delicious Amanda." Spock's Mother thanked her husband for his statement. Spock slowly took his knife and fork, and began cutting his cakes into small pieces. The only sound in the room was the silver ware scraping the plates. Spock took a small bite, the light fluff, had no taste for him as he kept his focus on his plate.

"Do you think the negotiation will be concluded today? "Amanda asked to break the tense silence. Serak took his next bite and chewed thoughtfully and swallowed before he answered.

"I do not see that it will be possible. The Andorians are making it difficult. The humans are being just as distrustful. And the result has been a virtual halt to a productive conclusion. If one or the other side does not compromise, I do not foresee a the delethium trade proceeding." Spock looked up at his Father. His words were voiced with much wariness and a small measure of frustration leaked through. "In the 100 years that we have dealt with the Earth, their people have not evolved. They work against themselves. Sometimes I feel as if I am serving in nursery duty, instead of the ambassadorial capacity."

"Not all humans are so immature." Spock spoke up, not comfortable with Serak's blatant profiling all humans in the same category.

Sarek's stoic face gave little away as he asked in answer, "And you have found this so in your recent proceedings? Tell me Spock, how mature are these opinions that they would charge you thus?" Sarek waited for his son to reply. Spock felt caught between defending his Mother's people and defending himself, neither choice would serve any purpose, to change his Father's opinion.

" I am merely confronting your biased and short sided statement, by judging a minute measure of specimens to make your observations. Not all humans are immune to reason and logic."

"Do you imply that these charges are just and made with authority?" Sarek knew in the back of his mind that the words would bait his son, but he could not let him be blinded by his affection for these beings, to be taken advantage of .

Spock's reply was shot back, his control tested. "I imply no such thing." He stopped before he voiced the other thoughts pulsing in his mind. Amanda dropped her silver ware, no longer pretending to eat as she looked over her son to her husband, the worry pulling at her lips.

"You are too trusting, letting your feelings for these people taint your judgment. If you had practiced more caution, you would never had put yourself in this predicament. If you had not indulged in your feelings and accepted the Vulcan Science Academy admission, you would not be facing a formal hearing this morning, but would be established in a prominent position and in good standing with the Vulcan high command. You have always been reckless." Spock's head jerked to his Father.

"Reckless?" All of his life he had tried to perfect the perfect imitation of his Father. He studied harder than any other Vulcan his age. He trained harder in the Vulcan meditation techniques. He immolated his Father's passionless reason, rejected his Mother's regard to the point that he knew that he hurt her, to be more like his Father. Yet it was never enough. He felt the heat of his blood in his face at the fact he had even entertained the notion of completing the Kolinahr, to purge the last visages of his Mother's people. His Father had prompted, all of life that he had to choose between the Vulcan way or the way of his Mother, but in truth there was only one option in his Father's eyes.

"If you did not defer your reason to emotional impulses, you would not find yourself in the position you face. Surrounding yourself with these humans, you have let them influence your judgment, and your ability to make reasonable choices." Amanda tried to intervene but the two Vulcans continued their discussion, both shutting her out.

"Are you inferring that you believe the charges set before me?" Spock's question made more of a statement than the inflection of the query in his voice implied. "That I caused the charges?"

"It does not matter what I believe, but what they believe, that will be your destiny."

"Then this discussion is futile." Spock spoke as he rose from his chair, setting his napkin down he faced his Mother. "Thank you for the meal, Mother. I should be on my way." Amanda grabbed her son's arm to keep him from leaving the islander table.

"Wait and I'll come with you." Spock took a deep breath. The look of compassion in her eyes, eased his own discomfort with his Father. But there was no need for her to sit behind the closed doors for hours, when it was beyond her power to do anything.

"There is no need Mother. The hearing is a closed one and you would only be sitting outside the proceedings. It could be hours." Besides, he was sure that he did not want her to hear any possible slander that was bound to be part of the hearing. "I will keep you informed of the proceedings." He added to appease her frustration. She clutched him to her chest as he tried to leave. Spock remained stiff in his Mother's arms, feeling his Father's eyes boring into his back, but he made no further action to acknowledge his Father. After a moment, he calmly disengaged himself from his Mother's arms and left the galley without a backward glance.

Amanda threw down her napkin and sat down with disgust. Sarek looked down at his half eaten food, but found he no longer had an appetite. The silence hung heavy in the room as the two looked anywhere but at each other. Sarek saw his wife snatch his plate from his peripheral vision. Obviously, the meal was over. Still she made no overture to him as she collected the dishes and not so quietly set them in the sink. Amanda kept her back to her husband as she rested her weight on her arms, as she leaned over the sink, taking deep breaths, which only heightened Sarek's anxiety over his wife's reaction.

He wondered what she could be emotional about this time. He had done what she had asked of him. He had made the first overture. He had shown concern for his son. Had given him sound advice, full of reason. It was beyond his power to make his son accept said advice. Once again his offspring proved he was too prone to letting his emotions rule his judgment and therefore left the room before benefiting from his sage wisdom.

Sarek looked at his wife's back, waiting for her to enlighten him on her mood. Still, she stood there, making those infernal noises, not quite actual conversation, at least not words, that he had any knowledge of, yet familiar sounds, to his ears from the experience of their almost 40 years of marriage. An internal conversation, that she had with herself. A conversation that tended to encouraged her current emotional condition. Which did not bode well for the future conversation, that he would be participating in , soon.

Perhaps, he would assist her to start this conversation, before she had worked herself into a crescendo of volume to wake the whole embassy. For the volume of her internal conversation had risen with her urgency to prove her point. He took a step forward and tried to gain her attention.

"Amanda..." That was all it took to get her started. Her voice was heated with her desire to gain answers.

"Did you do that deliberately?" Sarek halted, aware that the fire in her eyes, was alerting him that to proceed without caution, was to court danger of a personal nature. Contemplating on the possible answers to her query, he finally declined them all, for sake of better clarification.

"To what are you referring, wife?" He asked. Amanda huffed, waving her hands at the chairs, where they had been sitting. Sarek looked back to the area she pointed at, as if they would explain, what she would not, but it did not help. Gratefully, she did elaborate at his confused expression.

"Did you have to confront him and accuse him like you did? Did you have to chase him away again?"

"I simply pointed out his short comings, with his dealings with humans. He is too close to his situation to see the error of his ways. Until he understands, he will continue to make the same mistakes." Sarek stated dispassionately, as if talking to a child, which Amanda found offense in.

"Did it ever occur to you, that he was not soliciting advice from you? That he merely wanted your support? His "dealings" are his own, not yours. He doesn't need you to criticize his decisions right now. Spock needs to know that we love him and nothing that happens today or tomorrow will change that." Amanda held back her tears of frustration with what was left of her will.

"But he will continue to face these situations, if he does not change. It is my duty to make him aware..." Amanda stepped up to glare into her husband's face.

"It is your duty to love him! Not change him. You cannot change him! You cannot control him. You cannot make his decisions for him. Do not leave this duty to me alone..." Amanda turned away as she lost the fight and gave into her sobs. Alarmed at her display, he moved behind her, his hands moved to her shoulders, of their own volition.

"Amanda...wife, please clarify..." Amanda's voice wavered with her hurt and fear.

"Sarek, please do not leave me to explain to our son, your feelings for him. Please let him hear them from your own lips before it is too late." Turning her to face him, he asked her again to clarify. "Don't pretend that you do not know what I am talking about. Although you refuse to talk about it, I know... I know." She looked into his eyes, all the fear and concern swam in their watery depths. Sarek shook his head, as if he had no idea what she was trying to convey.

"Sarek there is something wrong with your heart. You know it...I know it... Not talking about it changes nothing. Not doing anything about it does not make it go away." She let that sink in, in silence as she reached up to cradle his face. A face that became so dear to her, in spite of the way it could infuriate her. "Please husband, do not make me try to convince your son that you loved him, years from now when it will not mean anything. Do it now while you can. Do not leave me and your son with unfinished business of this importance."

"Amanda..." Sarek's throat closed up and he failed to complete his thought. Indeed, he was concerned that the pains that he had endured these last few months might turn into something serious. But he did not want to worry her needlessly. Obviously, he had done just that without consulting her. Enfolding her into his arms, he pulled her close and let her indulge in her emotions as he held her tight.

Uhura sat on the hard bench, closest to the double doors leading to the closed hearing. As a potential witness, she was to wait to be called, but was not given a specific time, so she sat watching the Admirals enter the room in groups of one or two, none of them making eye contact with her. There were several other people talking in small groups. Uhura assumed that they were witnesses as well. She did not miss the satirical looks that were made her way. Nor did she miss the occasional remark about her that made it to her ears. She wished she had taken Gaila's offer to sit with her. Instead she looked down to her PADD, trying to focus on the lesson for the next class she would miss. But her nerves kept going back to last night. Spock had insisted that they talk to Matthias.

"_So am I to assume that you are being totally honest with me this time? Need I remind you that I can only defend you if I am privileged with the same information that the prosecution may have?" Matthias' visage was stoic. Spock and Uhura stood before him, sombre, well Spock was, Nyota felt like she was on the verge of going in shock. She felt numb and tired, like she could fall asleep standing up. But she felt safe now. Although not quite touching, she felt Spock's warmth through her uniform, where he stood next to her. Since they had left the garden, Spock had maintained a physical distance from Uhura. Once again she felt the world separate the two of them. Matthias looked from one to the other then shook his head._

"_So we are dealing with at least one prominent figure behind the scenes. Accommodate Mendez is not an official part of the hearing panel, but he does have quite a bit of clout in the outcome. If what you say is true, then you have a formidable enemy in your mists." I need to contact this police officer, he seems to be the best witness to dispute any misdirection the prosecution may spin on this situation. It will be difficult to re- recant your story Ms. Uhura. They already have a prescient that you changed your story at least once, making you unreliable." Matthias statement was made statistically, and without any malicious intent, yet Uhura still broke eye contact in shame._

"_I am so sorry, I know it's my fault, but I thought I was helping. If Spock hadn't tried to help me, he wouldn't be in this mess now." Uhura felt the tears, she had thought had dried up, start to well in her eyes. Spock turned to look at her, for the first time since they entered the study with Matthias, his expression unreadable, only his eyes showed his concern. _

"_Nyota..." His tone soft in his censor. Uhura turned from him, but Matthias caught her attention._

"_Cadet Uhura it was not your fault. Cadet Henwick had no right to do what he did. Accommodate Mendez used his authority and your guilt to manipulate you. We will not let them get away with it. You can help us achieve this by channeling your emotions into a positive influence. We need you to be clear headed throughout this hearing. Do not let them to continue to manipulate your answers to give credit to their version of the facts." _

Uhura took a deep breath. Matthias was right. It was not her fault. She was tired of feeling like a victim. Nyota Uhura made a pledge to herself that from now on, she was not going to let anyone manipulate her again. Since she could remember, she had always known what she wanted to be and what she wanted to do and had let nothing stand in her way to achieve it. Somewhere in the last six months, that had changed and she had lost herself along the way. At this moment that would change too.

All discussion ended, causing Uhura to look up in question. Matthias and Spock entered the hallway and made their way toward the double doors. The councilman had his briefcase in his hand, impeccably dressed in formal attire, his bearing professional and confident. Spock walked beside him, as if nothing was on his mind, as if only making his way to his lecture. His eyes were focused on the doors. Charged with the energy of the epiphany that she had discovered, she sent all the positive emotions toward the Commander.

Spock's gate stumbled as if the floor's surface was uneven, his eyes searching for the Cadet. Uhura felt a lingering trace of Spock's presence as if he were tracing her mind, his inquiry as well as his unbelief that not only had she initiated contact through the the fragile bond that they had started, but had accomplished it without physical touch. Before it ebbed completely, she forced her last thought of encouragement, "Kick their ass."

Uhura felt a surge of affection and the soft chiding reprimand, "Language, Cadet." Then they were through the double doors and the people around her broke into their conversations again. Feeling better than she had, she tried to settle back into her PADD. The arrival of another bystander interrupted her concentration.

The woman was in her fifties, early sixties, dressed in flowing robes, dark blonde hair, highlighted with gray, swept up in a an elaborate headdress, sat next to her. Her encouraging smile was contagious, and Uhura could not help but to return one of her own.

"Have they started?" The stranger's question was made as she settled herself. Uhura replied that the participants had just arrived and that she thought that they still had a few minutes. Uhura had just lowered her head once more, when an official asked for everyone's attention.

"The hearing is about ready to begin. We need everyone, who has been summoned to participate, to be close by to hear when they are summoned. There is to be no open discussion of the primary participants, the details of the hearing, or any other participant. No activated electronic media of any kind is allowed in the hall, during the hearing. Any violators of the mentioned regulations will be held liable by Starfleet policy and will be prosecuted appropriately." The official concluded his statement with a pointed look at Uhura's PADD on her lap, She closed the program and then tucked it back on her lap face down. One more pointed look at the various groups of people in clusters, while he waited for their conversations to die to silence, then he entered the double doors.

"I forgot how stuffy these formal things are." The older woman commented as Uhura looked around, no longer protected with her PADD to shield her face. She looked back to the woman who was smiling at her again. Uhura wondered how she was connected with this hearing. Obviously, she was not Starfleet personnel. The Cadet concluded that she must be the mother of one of the witnesses. She thought it was sweet that she would support them, then thought that she was on the other side. Uhura's mouth lost some of it's flexibility, tightening up at the thought that she was supporting the lies. How could someone so sweet be on the wrong side?

"So what are you studying here at the Academy?" Uhura stared back at the woman. Did she really want to discuss her studies? "We are limited in what we can discuss and this could be a long day. So tell me what is your major?" Uhura twisted in her seat, uncomfortable at being questioned by the stranger, but the woman looked so harmless, and seemed so genuinely interested that Uhura found herself opening up as she never had to someone she had just met.

"I am majoring in xenolinguistics and advanced phonology." At the woman's continued smile, Uhura assumed that she had lost her audience. Most people would have no clue of what she just said really entailed, but she surprised the Cadet by her next comments.

"Ahh.. so you are taking the advanced acoustical engineering courses? Are you tracking toward a communications officer position, or are you tracking toward an ambassadorial degree?" Uhura was startled at her grasp of the courses outlines.

"Communications officer." Uhura answered and the woman shook her head as if that was the only logical answer.

"Don't neglect the technical courses. You will need the physical knowledge of the equipment as well as the linguistical to be a proper officer." The woman chuckled as if remembering a humorous tale. "You never know when you might find yourself stranded in a strange land with a faulty universal translator and a replicator no where in site." Uhura laughed with her, wondering just who this woman was.

"Cadet Valerie Compton" The bailiff announced. The cadet separated from a cluster of students and followed the officer through the double doors, charging the atmosphere into one of anticipation, and sobering Uhura's temperament.

" Uhhh. Ms..." The woman tapped her head as if just realizing that she had not introduced herself.

"I'm sorry, I feel as if I've known you for years. Just call me Amanda. And your name is..." The woman was definitely friendly, Uhura had to give her that.

"My name is Nyota Uhura." The woman tried out her name a couple of times, the consonants and vowels rolling off her tongue.

"May I call you Nyota? That is a lovely name. Very musical." Amanda seemed genuinely happy with her name, which prompted her to explain.

"It's Swahili for Freedom."

"Oh, that is beautiful. Is that where you are from?" Uhura found herself responding.

"Yes, I was born in Tanzania, but lived on a ship until I was six. Then I lived in San Francisco." Uhura replied, trying not to dwell on her parents, but Amanda's next question had her touching on their memories.

"Are your parents in Starfleet then?"

"Were. They were killed in action when I was eight." Amanda's pleasure in the conversation halted as Uhura's words sank in. Immediately compassion replaced her happiness and Uhura found herself being consoled as if her loss were recent and acute.

"I am so sorry to hear that dear. You were so young to lose both of your parents like that. I hope you had family to take care of you. Although they would never be able to replace your parents." Uhura found herself returning her condolence, assuring the woman, that her Uncle did indeed do a fine job of stepping in her parents shoes.

"My parents made the decision to keep me stateside to encourage a proper education. They found themselves hard pressed to keep my mind occupied on a ship. My Uncle took his role as guardian very seriously. He did his job the best he could."

"Could, …. as in past tense?" Uhura would normally find the woman's questions intrusive at the least. Rude would be a better adjective. But surprisingly, it was comforting to be able to voice her feelings with someone.

"Yes, he passed away a few months ago. His heart gave out. He had, had trouble with it for some time." Her words seemed to effect the woman personally and Uhura saw concern and fear echo in the older woman's eyes, as if she had personal experience with this.

"So you are alone now?" The question was laced with such compassion, that Uhura felt that she needed to console the woman, to ease her anxiety.

"No, I am not quite alone." And at the moment she truly believed it. Her eyes strayed to the closed doors as if mentally assuring herself that he was close by. Amanda's smile followed the younger woman's eyes and her smile returned.

"I am so happy to hear that... So did you decide to join Starfleet because of your parents, to honor their memory?" Amanda's change in topic had Uhura struggling to keep up.

"Uhh.. actually no, not really. I have always loved space. It is my connection to home. And was bound and determined to get back there, no matter the cost. Actually if it wasn't for Commander Spoc..." Uhura stopped as she looked toward the bailiff, reminded of the rules and continued with a censored answer, "If it hadn't been for Captain Pike and his first officer, I would probably have joined as civilian personnel just to get on any ship. If it hadn't been for their interference..." The cadet's voice trailed off as she thought back to that fateful day, when she had skipped school, and a kind officer took interest in a precocious kid.

"Oh, you have to tell me the story that has given you such a smile in just remembering it." Amanda pleaded, her curiosity peaked. The rest of the morning passed quickly, at Amanda's prompting, Uhura found herself retelling her memories of her schooling and first years at Starfleet. The older woman was genuinely interested, and asked questions, that extended her tales, when Uhura would have stopped. During that time, two more witnesses were called, all three leaving less confident than when they had entered. Uhura took it as a good sign.

The double doors opened abruptly and the council stepped through, their muted conversations bled together. Uhura stopped in mid sentence, her thoughts fled as she took in Spock's appearance. She could not read anything from his blank expression. He appeared just as collected as he was this morning. Just when she thought that they would walk by without any acknowledgment, Spock stopped before her bench. She made an effort to control the smile that threatened to take over her face, not wanting to bring attention to herself, to be brought up short at his query.

"What are you doing here?" Uhura tried to make sense of his question. He knew why she was there. Before she could answer, the woman next to her stood up.

"I can't let my son be alone at a time like this. There was no way I could sit at the embassy, not knowing what was happening." Amanda stated as she moved forward to embrace her only child. Uhura could not help but notice Spock's stiff posture in the woman's arms, his eyes darting in her direction, wariness in their expression. As she released him he added.

"I informed you that the hearing was closed. Your presence was not required, you should be with Father." Spock seemed agitated for a Vulcan as he tried to reason with her. Amanda patted her son on his shoulder.

"Nonsense, Spock. I am here to support you. Besides, I have been in good company." Amanda turned to Uhura, whom had stood up as well. "You know Nyota?" Amanda's question held a hint anticipation. Spock looked directly at Uhura and tilted his head, his expression void of anything but polite inquiry.

"Cadet." Uhura's eyes darted to Matthias who was fidgeting with his briefcase and looking at his time piece. She looked back to Spock.

"Commander."

"We have only an hour before the hearing resumes. I suggest we move to the restaurant that I made reservations for." Matthias stated. Amanda started to invite Uhura to go with them, but before she could open her mouth, the two men ushered her down the corridor and through the doors. Uhura watched their progress, a hollow feeling filling the pit of her stomach. Only after the doors closed on the bright sunshine outside, did she notice the area had cleared of people. She was all alone. And she still did not know how the hearing had gone so far.

Uhura picked up her PADD and made her way toward the exit. She blinked at the bright sun as she carefully negotiated the stairs. The thought of food turned her stomach, but the idea of staying here by herself had no appeal either.

"Uhura! Uhura wait up." Nyota turned toward the cadet who was calling her name. Hendorff was moving across the lawn at a quick pace.

"Hendorff. What are you doing here?"

"I thought you might like to get a burger or something." Hendorff pulled at his collar. Uhura looked at him in surprise. He normally was very shy, and never said more than a couple of words at a time. She could feel his nervousness. Uhura liked Hendorff, even if she didn't appreciate his friends. Speaking of his friends, she looked around, half expecting to see Hendwick lurking in the shadows.

"Who else is coming?" Hendorff had followed the movement of her eyes and immediately understood her reluctance.

"Just me. Henwick is not invited. Ever. How about it Uhura?" Maybe company for lunch wouldn't be so bad after all. She placed her hand on his arm and steered him toward the campus cafe.

"Lay on Hendorff, I hear a burger calling our name."

"That was probably one of the best burgers that I have had in a long time." Uhura stated as she set down the last couple of bites, not able to finish. In truth it was the first burger she had eaten in months, since Spock was vegan, she had forgone meat in the meals that she had shared with him. She had not realized how much she missed the taste. Hendorff finished off his second and leaned back appreciatively in the booth seat.

"Not bad. But definitely not the best. Do you remember the dive in Iowa? You know when we did that recruiting run by the shipyard?" Hendorff asked as he used a toothpick to clean his teeth. Uhura thought back and smiled.

"Yes, I do. They were the biggest burgers that I've ever seen. Buffalo burgers. And they had that contest, the five pound burger..." Hendorff interrupted, laughter in his voice at the memory.

"And that was the tastiest hundred bucks I made." They both laughed. That was a memorable recruitment run. It ended with the biggest bar room fight he had been in. Obviously, the cadet was thinking on the same wavelength as she chuckled.

"That was a fun trip." Uhura said, Hendorff had another adjective to describe it.

"I remember it being more painful than fun." Uhura punched his arm in disagreement.

"Oh, come on you had fun. You live for those bar fights." Hendorff grabbed her hand and held on to it until Uhura pulled away self conscious at his mood change. She broke eye contact first, grabbing her glass and taking a drink to distract herself.

" I was defending your honor." His eyes had turned tender at the statement.

Uhura tried to get the jovial atmosphere back. "He was a harmless hick, who admitted to having sex with farm animals. I did not need defending. I can take care of myself."

"He grabbed your chest." Hendorff stated.

"Only after you threw the first punch." Both looked at each other and their mouths twisted in laughter. "Well thanks for having my back. And my front." Both giggled at her statement. Then Hendorff reached over the table and grabbed her hand.

"I will always have your back Nyota." The serious statement felt out of place for the conversation and Uhura tried to pull away.

"Hendorff..." The cadet interrupted her.

"Tim." At her look of confusion he continued, "My name is Tim. I want you to know that I will make sure... I will always have your back. I won't let Charlie..." At Hendorff's words, Uhura snatched her hand away, wary of the contact. Her thoughts swam, as they always did at the mention of Charlie's name. She had forgotten that Hendorff knew. He was there... She could not handle talking about this now. Not today.

"Boy, look at the time! I've got to get back. I don't want to be held in contempt." Uhura stood up and collected her PADD. Hendorff stood up as well, stuttering his apology, but Uhura was through with the current conversation and did not let him continue. He offered to escort her back to the hearing. She did not accept but continued on her way, leaving him to pay and catch up with her. She had made it to the lawn before he found her.

"Uhura wait up!" Hendorff's shout caused a number of people to turn in her direction. But she noticed only one. Spock was at the top of the steps, staring down at her. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." She turned her body to the Cadet. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed that the Commander had taken one step down.

"It's alright Hendorff. I'm ok. You just took me by surprise, that's all. I really need to get back. Thanks for lunch and the company. You are a good friend." Uhura watched Matthias touch Spock's arm and direct him back into the building. She moved toward them, and only then did Spock follow his councilman into the building.

Just as she made it into the hallway, on shaky legs did she hear the bailiff call out the next witness.

"Cadet Nyota Uhura."

**No one listed Hendorff's first name so I made it up. From my perspective he had the biggest crush on Nyota. And I always wondered what kind of conversation Amanda would have had with Uhura. hope you enjoy.**


	11. Chapter 11 Can I Get a Testimony?

**Chapter 11 Can I Get a Testimony?**

Spock stood next to Matthias while he waited for the Admirals to enter the chamber from the back room. Although judicial proceedings were not his specialty, Spock felt that the morning had been productive and conducive to his case.

_The first witness had entered the room with a confident swagger. Valerie was not the brightest student he'd ever had, but what she lacked in intelligence, she had made up in ambition. A very clever young lady, indeed._

_So far she apparently had completed her courses with a form of bartering that was not legally recognized by the Starfleet constitution. It had apparently worked for her with several of the instructors, according to her grades in previous classes. Unfortunately, for her, he was not as enthralled with what she was offering in exchange for an easy ride through the phonology courses. Spock had thought that his persistent lack of response, would deter her from further advances, instead it took a direct confrontation, in the middle of the night, when he had turned her away from his private residence. At the time he had thought that it was the end of it. Apparently he had underestimated her determination, or her need for retaliation. _

_During the prosecution's turn with the witness, Matthias had scribbled on his PADD and passed it to Spock for his inspection. _ **_Nothing more than we estimated. This will be cleared up with easily with our 1__st__ witness._**_ Spock looked over the words, only his eyes moving to the PADD. His expression was attentive, nothing more showing than mild interest. Truly, the slander coming out of the young cadet's mouth, did not phase him. It was untrue, and highly illogical, and therefore could not be believed as fact. Matthias' attention turned to the discussion in front of him._

"_So Cadet Compton, you are saying that Commander Spock confronted you, that he threatened to lower your grades, if you did not provide services of a sexual nature?" Matthias stood up and objected._

"_Objection, your honors. Council is leading the witness. Although in the past five minutes, she has said a great deal, she has not stated such." Matthias set back down as the admirals agreed and asked council to rephrase his question, their expressions agitated. Matthias agreed with their demeanor. The witness had spent the last five minutes, spinning her tale and subsequently spinning her wheels as she danced around her subject, not really saying anything substantial to support the prosecution's case. Council was trying to sum it up, where their witness was unable. _

"_Did the Commander confront you?" Council asked._

"_Yes, he certainly did. He couldn't keep his eyes off me. Always undressing me with his eyes. I felt like a piece of meat. Just dangling there." Valerie's hands moved over her torso as if she were covering herself up as she pleaded with the admirals on her left, then turned her hateful eyes to Spock, whose own countenance still bore only a mild mode of interest in the proceedings, which infuriated her. Prosecutor Ramsey inhaled to the side and continued a little more firmly. _

"_When did he confront you?" Valerie's hateful stare turned back to the prosecutor in confusion._

"_When?... When what?" Valerie asked, obviously lost in her enthusiasm of her tale to keep track of the conversation. Matthias wrote on his PADD and moved it to Spock's peripheral vision.** Obviously, they did not coach Valerie enough, or she has not memorized her play lines adequately. Either way is to our benefit. **Spock's only comment was the raising of his right eyebrow. _

_Having lost patience with the 1st witness, Admiral Hayes interrupted the proceedings. "Cadet Compton please answer the question, and only the question asked of you. Do not elaborate with subjection." _

_Valerie's eyes clouded over, "Sir, I don't understand what you just said. Can you clarify?" The cadet's last question was stilted as it came out of her mouth as if she were reading from a cue card. Then she turned her anxious eyes on Ramsey as if asking if she phrased it correctly. Ramsey clenched his fists as the Admiral tone turned condescending. _

"_Cadet just answer the question and stay on the question only. Stop rambling about the Commander's eyes." Matthias held in his chuckle, barely, feeling better about the hearing every minute that went by. If all of their witnesses fared as well, he would have this finished with a an acquittal by the end of the day. The prosecution had done a truly poor job with this case, if it could be judged by the first witness. So far she came off as a not too intelligent student who had a grudge against her instructor. She was digging her own grave with her testimony and Matthias's evidence would bury her with her own dirt. _

"_He confronted me before the final." Prosecutor Ramsey unclenched his fist and smiled at Valerie, happy that she was back on track. _

"_And what did he say when he confronted you?" Ramsey moved from the witness stand and went to his desk to pick up the glass of water. He was parched from trying to steer his witness to where he needed her. _

"_He said that he would give me a failing grade if I did not sleep with him. He said that he had a thing for me, and that he couldn't keep his hands off of me anymore." Ramsey choked on his drink, as Valerie ad -libbed, embellishing on her story. Spock's eyebrows disappeared under his bangs at that statement, so unlike his own pattern of speech. _

"_Cadet Compton, the court warned you about your use of subjection." Admiral Nelson moved back from his mic, failing to keep his frustration out of his voice._

"_But I didn't mention his eyes." Valerie defended herself, her tone hurt and pouting. _

"_Council, please direct your witness on protocol." Ramsey stepped up to the witness box and gripped the sides of the table for moral support as he continued in a clipped tone. _

"_Cadet, did you comply with the Commander's offer?" Valerie gasped in true drama fashion, placing her hand on her ample breast and responded as if highly insulted._

"_No, of course not! I am not that kind of girl." Ignoring her outburst, Ramsey continued._

"_And what was your grade for your final?" Valerie's red lips shaped a perfect bow as she pouted her answer._

"An F. I've never received an F before." Ramsey turned from the box, relieved to be done with her. "That is all. I am done with this witness." There was a collective sigh from the Admiral's area. Admiral Nelson gave the floor to the defense. Valerie waited anxiously for Matthias, who took a moment to consult his notes, before he stood up and quietly walked up to her box, a friendly smile on his face.

"_It must be extremely annoying and tiresome to be judged by your pretty looks." Prosecutor Ramsey's head snapped up at the unusual comment. He paused before objecting, not sure where the defense was leading. _

_Valerie was just as confused and forgot the proper protocol for clarification._

"_HUH?" She asked. Matthias reflected as much compassion in his expression as possible as he elaborated._

"_I mean a young woman that is as beautiful as yourself, must exhaust a fair amount of energy, fighting off unwanted advances." Matthias looked into Valerie's blinking eyes. _

"_Huh... yes it is." Valerie looked to Ramsey for cues, but the prosecutor was watching Matthias. _

"_It must happen all the time. People who want your regard. Are willing to do anything for you." Valerie did not answer but continued to look at the prosecutor. "Cadet Compton, when Commander Spock was making these offers, who were your witnesses?" Valerie blinked back at him._

"_Witnesses?" Matthias nodded his head._

"_Yes, Cadet Compton. Witnesses. You've have stated for the record that Commander Spock was constantly making advances on your person. Surely, there were a number of witnesses to collaborate your perception of the events in this matter." Matthias tone hardened minutely as he moved forward, invading the space that he purposely gave her earlier. "Surely, you should be able to supply a few names to substantiate your charges... a couple... one Ms. Compton. One name." Valerie moved in her seat, leaning away from the councilman, obviously uneasy in the turn of discussion, just as she was about to blurt an answer the prosecutor stood up and objected._

"_Objection, your honors. The council is badgering the witness." Matthias raised his hands in surrender. _

"_Your honors, I am merely trying to get an answer that should have been supplied by the prosecution's evidence. If indeed this was a case where he had made several advances, there should be witnesses to add validity to the charge. All I am asking for is one witness."_

_The admirals conferred with themselves, and then Admiral Nelson leaned into the mic and asked the Cadet to answer the question. _

"_He always did it in private... When there were no witnesses." Her answer was brittle in her tone and was bit out through clenched teeth. Matthias smiled at her lack of composure. _

"_No one can substantiate this claim? No one can remember a time when he asked you to speak with him in private?" Matthias tapped his head, as if remembering something. "That's right, his aide was usually in attendance. Could not this aide collaborate your claim?" Again Ramsey stood up and objected._

"_Objection, your honors, Cadet Uhura is not a creditable witness." Matthias turned to the prosecutor, and commented._

"_And yet she is on your list of witnesses. Can I not ask for clarification on this testimony, using your own support witnesses?" Ramsey's hands clenched on the top of the desk, the only indication that he was agitated._

"_Cadet Uhura has not been called to the stand. Nor has it been determined that she will be. As a hostile witness, you cannot use her as support in this testimony."_

"_Gentlemen, I will remind you to make your comments and requests to the court and not to each other." Admiral Hayes chided as the two stood in a stand off. "Councilman continue with your question."_

"_Your honors, I drop the question. Matthias paced away from the witness box as he said this. Then turned he attention on the woman before him. He did not continue until she made eye contact with him. "Ms. Compton, what would you say if I stated that there was a witness to support that there was a confrontation? One witness to give testimony that there was a conversation between you and Commander Spock, where offers were made for favors in exchange for grade corrections?" Matthias approached the box. His tone lighter in inflection, as if evaluating her reaction. _

"_Objection, where is this witness? There has been no evidence brought before this court for approval." Matthias turned toward the admirals, his tone respectful and apologetic._

"_Your honors, I apologize for the tardiness. It had just come to my attention, that there was a witness that observed a confrontation on April 3rd . My team has tried to make contact with the individual and hope to have the person available for dissertation. If I may continue, I am merely substantiating that this witness was aware." Matthias waited, not showing the anxiety that he felt at the moment with the gamble he was attempting. After the admirals conferred out of the microphone's range they agreed for him to continue. He turned to Valerie and asked again._

"_I don't remember the time." Her answer was stated more like a question, her eyes darting around him. From her body language, Matthias guessed that she was remembering the incident in detail and the tips of his mouth tipped in satisfaction. _

"_Let me refresh your memory. You visited Commander Spock's private residence, approximately 3 am on April 3rd. You confronted him in the entry to his apartment. Memory coming back Cadet?" Valerie's open mouth clamped shut, and Matthias continued. "You approached him with an offer to give him services of a personal nature, in exchange for an exceptional grade on the auxiliary language finial. He refused you entry into his home, refused your offer and sent you on your way. Indeed he was generous in his offer. He could have had you brought up on charges of extortion. But he did not. He let you go. Do you have any recollection now Cadet?" _

"_Objection your honors, this is pure speculation from the councilman." _

_Admiral Nelson overruled. "Answer the question Cadet." Valerie looked at Spock, hate in her eyes, then turned to Matthias._

"_I do not remember that at all." Matthias smiled at the churlish tone. _

"_Our witness will remember the incident." Ramsey stood up at the councilman's statement. _

"_Objection, the councilman has yet to identify this witness, nor has the councilman submitted said testimony for approval to this court." Matthias turned to the admirals._

"_Again I apologize your honors. The witness was a neighbor to Commander Spock. This administrator has retired and we are in the process of locating her. However, this witness was privy to the confrontation and can verify that it took place. _

"_Sustained." Matthias waved apology at the admirals ruling against him, knowing that they could not allow his statement, but it was still in their heads, and hers, where he wanted it. The seed of doubt had been planted and it was working in that narrow mind of hers. She squirmed in her seat, fear now in her eyes at the thought that she was caught in her own lies.. _

"_I remind you Cadet, purgery is a criminal offense. Are you standing on your word for the record, that you do not remember the confrontation, that you initiated on April 3rd at the commander's residence?" Valerie's mouth twisted in bitterness. She looked to the commander, who looked back at her as if she were an interesting species of insect for inspection. Her hatred leaked through her countenance and she dropped all facades. _

_Her next statements were directed at the Commander. "You think you are so great. Like everyone is beneath you. Well you are nothing! Nothing!" Matthias turned away and talked over her, washing his hands of the witness._

"_I am done with this witness." Valerie stood up, her anger at being dismissed, before she was through, pushed her over the edge of her reserve. She shouted obscenities at the Commander as the bailiff moved to escort her out of the courtroom. Admiral Hayes held her in contempt and fined her for her outburst. Matthias took his seat and looked at the PADD that had a note from Commander Spock. _

_**How did you locate a witness? **Matthias added a line under the first. **I didn't. **The noise disappeared with the witness as the courtroom got back to order._

_Spock looked at the PADD for a moment, before he answered. **A bluff?**Matthias took the PADD and replied. **A calculated risk. There had to be a witness. You said that you remember a light going on during the confrontation at your door. A busybody, who turns on an entry light would listen in on the conversation. All I needed was a doubt to enter her head. Don't knock it. It worked. If the other witnesses are as intelligent as the first, you will be cleared by the end of the day. **_

_Both gentlemen turned their attention to the prosecution as they called their next witness. "Your honors, the prosecution calls Albert Ivans." The bailiff made his way to the back of the room to retain the next witness. Matthias changed the screen on his PADD to go over his notes on the next witness. Spock looked over the councilman to read as well._

_Another student. Not so lack luster as the previous. An older, more mature student. This student had promise, but his pride and over confidence of himself had seemed to work against him. His grades were in the top twenty percent of the classes. Spock was satisfied with his performance. What he lacked in natural talent to decipher phonic nuances, he made up in technical accent. However the cadet felt that he performance was consistently underestimated, and would challenge every demerit on every assignment. _

"_Please state your name for the record." The bailiff stated as the witness placed his hand on the scanner that recorded his electrical and biological patterns. Albert stated his name and sat down. Ramsey stood up and moved to the witness box. _

"_How long have you been a student at the academy Cadet?" _

"_Three years." Albert answered, his voice even and without any excessive emotion. Matthias turned from his notes and gave his undivided attention. _

"_And please state your major."_

"_I am charting for an officer position in the field of phonology and xenolinguistics, minoring in UT engineering technical support." _

"_Please state your rank in respect to grade point." The admirals attention was focused on the witness, who presented himself with the appropriate decorum that was absent from the first witness. Matthias watched the reaction to the testimony with foreboding._

"_I am in the top twenty percent of the academy." His tone slightly agitated, as if this was an embarrassment. _

"_That is impressive Cadet." Ramsey's statement was met with the witness's skepticism. "I take it that you disagree with my assessment Mr. Ivans."_

"_My grade point average was in the top five percent in my first year." Ramsey shrugged his shoulders as if the drop did not matter, which irritated the Cadet. "The decline in my opinion was not warranted." Ramsey placed his hands on the witness box._

"_Would you elaborate on your last statement Cadet Ivans?"_

"_The grading scale in the linguistic courses are unrealistic and impossible to achieve in the current establishment." Ivans' eyes moved over the Commander in passive challenge. Spock's expression did not alter, except for a small movement over his right eye. " Before Commander Spock assumed the position as head of the linguistic's department of the academy, the grade point curve was higher. The percentage has drastically declined in the last two years. Basically, he has made it impossible to complete the courses with less than an eighty percent efficiency rating. But he does have his favorites." Ramsey took a peek at the Admiral board, to see that they indeed were at attention. _

"_Are you insinuating that Commander Spock is not consistent with his grading scale?" Ramsey asked, his tone incredulous, as if this was not the exact route he was trying to navigate. _

"_I'm not insinuating anything." Ivans eyes were trained on Spock. "I'm clearly stating that Commander Spock practices favoritism. He purposely devalues performance for some and others he needlessly exalts." Ramsey moved away from the Cadet._

"_Can you give me an example to substantiate your claim, Cadet Ivans?"_

"_Cadet Uhura." Ramsey went to his PADD._

"_And what do you base your claim on?" _

"_Cadet Uhura is rated consistently ten percent above anyone else in the last two years. She was chosen as aide in her first year. That is unheard of. She was placed above more highly qualified applicants, before her academic record was established." Cadet Ivans was warming to his subject. His voice held more emotion as he let his bitterness show through._

"_And do you have an explanation for Uhura's placement?" Matthias moved into action at the question. He addressed the board as he stood up._

"_Objection your honors. The Cadet's answer would be purely subjective." _

"_Abstained." Ramsey smiled at Matthias and withdrew the question._

"_In your observations of the Commander and Cadet Uhura, have you seen anything that would support your claim of favoritism?" Ramsey turned to Matthias as if seeking permission for the question. Matthias sat back down, picking up his stylus and absently placing it to his lips. Using his peripheral vision he watched his client's response. _

"_They are always talking in languages that others do not know, purposely keeping everyone out of the conversation." Ramsey shook his head as if to tell him to go on. " They are always together in his office. They go to lunch together. He confers to her, and gives her excessive authority in the classroom. And no one _

_grades higher than her. No one." Ramsey held his hands up to stop the Cadet from adding anything else._

"_I want to stop you there for a moment Cadet. Do you have anything to add in the way of substantiating your claim as to the grading curve?" _

"_Yes, Commander Spock insists on grading the audio portions of the assignments and tests himself without assistance from the UT computer system, like the rest of the administrative staff, which obviously, is due to his biased way of teaching." Ramsey stepped up and turned to the board._

"_So in summary you stated that Commander Spock ignored protocol and placed Cadet Uhura in a teachers aide position without qualification, he entertained undue attention to the cadet, forgoes established, unbiased computer programing to grade inconsistently, in his aides favor. Acts in unprofessional behavior in front of his students. Am I correct Cadet?" Ivans shook his head in affirmation then moved forward to answer._

"_Yes, sir. That is precisely what I am saying." _

"_Thank you Cadet. That is all I have your honors." Ramsey turned to Matthias and waved for him to take over, his lips tilted in a relaxed smile. _

"_You have the floor councilman Anders." Matthias looked down to his PADD as a sudden thought caught his attention. "Councilman?" Admiral James repeated, Matthias waved his hand for a moment as his fingers moved across the tablet with lightening speed. "Do you need a recess, councilman?"_

_Matthias looked up from his PADD, his thoughts still on his lead,"No, your honors, I've got it." He moved the text up on the screen as he tried to memorize certain statistics, before putting it down. Then he stood up and moved toward the witness box. _

"_Cadet Ivans. May I ask you to confirm how long you have been with the academy?" Ivans leaned forward and repeated his answer._

"_Three years." Matthias folded his arms in front of him as he asked for clarification._

"_Is that the total years here at the academy, and all of it's affiliate facilities?" Ivans paused before he replied._

"_No, that would be eight years. Two years at the Harvard branch, three years at the Princeton campus and three here at the main campus." _

"_And how many degrees and certifications have you acquired in your studies?" Matthias lowered his arms. Ivans' neck flushed with color._

"_Sir?" _

_Matthias slowed his speech and repeated his question, in a patronizing manner. "How many degrees or certifications did you earn in your eight years of schooling?" _

"_None." Ivan stated as the flush rose to meet his head._

"_You mean to say in eight years, you have not completed a single course study to receive a single certification?" Matthias' tone was laced with condensation. _

"_I've changed majors." At the Cadet's hesitant answer, Matthias asked him to speak up. "I said that I changed majors." _

"_Objection. Cadet Ivans is not on trial. Council is badgering the witness." _

_Matthias interrupted before the board could rule. "Your honors, the prosecution has tried to establish the Cadet in a state of educational qualification and I am using my right challenge said qualification." The admirals conferred with each other before they ruled._

"_Overruled. You may continue." Matthias thanked the board and then asked._

"_How many majors have you declared in the last eight years?" _

"_Four." _

_Matthias shrugged his shoulders in disbelief. "Four? That many? And what is the reason for changing so many times?" Matthias moved closer to the witness box. The cadet's body tensed in defense._

"_I have the right to change my mind. I just hadn't found the right one." Matthias moved to the table and picked up his PADD. _

"_You just had not found the right major?" Looking down at the PADD, he continued. "And in the course of your self discovery, isn't it true that you have participated in a total of three hearings dealing with administrative staff and charges of favoritism?" _

_Again Ramsey stood up, his voice frustrated at this turn of events. "Objection! Your honors, this has nothing to do with this case. Cadet Ivans is not the one on trial." _

_The board took offense at the prosecution's tone. Admiral Nelson took the mic. "Councilman Ramsey, we are aware that the Cadet is not on trial, but the defense has the right to ascertain your witness's credentials. Cadet answer the question." _

"_I don't see what this has to do with what we are talking about now?" The cadet protested. _

"_Because Cadet, you seem to have a problem with several administrators. You seem to have a problem accepting criticism for your work." Ramsey objected, but Matthias continued, voice rising to drown out the prosecution, "You can't handle not being the best. You can't be second." Again Ramsey asked the board to object, but Matthias just got louder, "**Can you? If you don't get your way, you try to get them out of your way! Don't you!**"_

_Admiral Nelson brought the gavel down on the marble tabletop of the board's box. "Councilman, the board cautions you to practice protocol and refrain from theatrics. Abstained, the councilman will withdraw the question."_

_Matthias adjusted his jacket as he turned to lay his PADD back on the table. By the time he turned back, he was relaxed again and looked like the incident had not happened at all. _

"_Cadet you mentioned that the Commander and Cadet Uhura speak in languages that no one understands, this is correct?" The cadet sat up straight at the question, not sure if it was a trick question, he paused before he answered._

"_Yes, sir. Often." _

"_No one except yourself?" Ivans looked at the councilman, confused. _

"_Pardon me?" Matthias was back to being the Cadet's friend again and clarified, smiling as he did so._

"_You meant that no one understood the languages that the two were speaking, yourself excluded of course." Ivans still was not sure if it was a trick question. Matthias continued, " You mean to say that a lowly underclassman, like Cadet Uhura would know a language that you, who has years more experience, does not know? Wait a moment, you said languages, as in more than one. Just how many languages did you observe Cadet Uhura engaging in that you are not versed in?" At Ivans silence, he pressed._

"_Two?...More than two?..." Matthias voice raised in surprise, "Three?"_

"_I'm... I'm not sure... They sounded alike." Matthias moved closer._

"_They sounded alike? Tell the truth Cadet. You are not sure. However, Cadet Uhura is. It might be interesting to know that the Cadet is versed in more than 13 languages. How many are you versed in again?" _

"_Objection, question is irrelevant."_

"_Abstained. Strike the question from the record." Matthias turned from the witness box. _

"_Defense is done your honors." The witness was released from the box as Matthias sat down, sighing at his PADD, he scribbled a note that he passed to Spock, **That went about as well as it could.** Spock tilted his head in agreement. _

"_Council calls Lauren Collins to the stand." Matthias looked up as a woman in dress uniform approached the box. She was asked to state her name and occupation._

"_Lauren Collins, administrative statistical annalist." Her hand was scanned and then she sat down. _

"_And how long have you held your position?" _

"_Twelve years." Lauren's pleasant personality was contagious and Ramsey found himself smiling in return. _

"_You are responsible for record retention for the campus, correct?" Lauren responded in the affirmative. "In the last two years which student has retained the highest grade level in the linguistics department?" _

_Lauren's fingers moved over the computer console beside her before retaining the answer. "Cadet Nyota Uhura at a 4.95." _

"_And who is responsible for input of these grades?"_

"_Usually, the computers do most of the grading, what is not electronically imputed, is done by the administrators themselves."_

_Ramsey turned toward the board to gauge their reaction. "And this is the norm? In Spock's classes, is the established protocol being followed?"_

_Lauren uncomfortable being caught between the board and a well liked administrator, hesitated before answering, "No, he tends to grade personally and then input the grades himself." _

"_So he bypasses the computer system's tried and true way to grade consistently, without the possibility of biased interference? Lauren's smile dimmed at the implications the prosecution twisted into the statement that they wanted her to verify. _

"_Commander Spock uses his vast experience and expertize to grade on variances that the computer system is unable to do." Matthias chuckled at the annalist's defense of his client and the obvious disapproval of the prosecutor. _

"_Your honors, I ask that the last statement be stricken from the record." Admiral Nelson was tired and ready for a break. His tone matched his mood._

"_Are you objecting to your own witness's testimony?" _

"_Your honors, the answer is subjective with her own opinion." Ramsey was just as frustrated, not expecting his witness to make a stand for the defendant. _

"_Yes, your witness. Councilman approach the bench." Ramsey moved forward not happy with the turn of events. "Ramsey, obviously, you have not interviewed your witnesses to your satisfaction I will allow this one objection, but further disruption will not be tolerated, do you understand?" Ramsey agreed and moved back to the front of the box._

"_Abstained. Ms. Collins please just answer the question." _

"_Can you repeat the question please?" _

_Ramsey repeated his question, rephrasing it to get a more direct answer. " Commander Spock relies on his own judgment to grade instead of using the computer systems that the majority of the administration uses. _

"_Yes, Commander Spock uses his own judgment." Ramsey turned away as he stated that he was finished with the witness. Matthias got up right away as he was given the floor. Sensing that the board needed a break, he wanted to make this go as quickly as possible. _

"_Ms. Collins, you have privilege to all of the records of the students grades in the system, correct?" _

"_Yes." Her answer just as abrupt. _

"_You have the scores of the preliminary assessments that all students have to take to be placed accordingly, correct?" Lauren's eyes darted to the councilman's face, he could see the wheels turning in her mind, trying to figure where this was going. _

"_Yes."_

"_And they are scored with a ratio from one to ten, with ten being a perfect score, correct?" _

"_Yes."_

"_What is the average for a student entering the Academy?"_

"_A 5.6 ."_

"_And what is the highest score that the Academy has recorded?" _

_Lauren did not need to refer to the computer. It was common knowledge with the administration that one of their current administrator's held the record. "The highest score was a 9.8 ." Matthias clucked his tongue at the score._

"_A 9.8? That is incredible! And do you have any idea who set this record?" Lauren's face lit up with a bright smile as she turned her attention to the commander. She remembered when he made the record. Lauren felt sorry for the student who seemed so alone on campus. Now she beamed as she pointed to the Commander for the board._

"_Commander Spock holds the current record." Matthias turned to Spock and saluted him, then turned back to the witness._

"_Just a few more questions, Can you give me the entrance score for Cadet Compton?" Lauren's fingers flew over the board._

"_3.1" Matthias shook his head at the pitiful score._

"_Cadet Ivan's score?" _

"_6.9"_

_Matthias smiled and said, "And Cadet Uhura?" _

"_8.9" _

"_8.9 ….. Thank you Ms. Collins, that will be all." Matthias stopped his movement when the board declared recess for lunch. _

The bailiff called the hearing to order as the board entered from the back room. Matthias and Spock sat down. Spock wondered what had Nyota so upset. He could feel traces of her emotions through the fragile connection that they had been creating. What could his mother have said to her? He had been shocked speechless at the sight of the two of them talking like long lost friends.

Spock was brought out of his private thoughts at Nyota's name being called as the next witness. Matthias and Spock locked eyes. The Commander could see that his councilman was just as surprised as he was that the prosecution was calling her.

He watched as she was led into the hearing. She kept her eyes forward and did not let them stray as she made her way to the front. She was somber as she placed her hand on the scanner and stated her name and rank for the board and then sat down.

"How long have you been a student at the Academy Cadet?" Ramsey asked, his demeanor was professional, if a little distant.

"Two years."

"And how long have you been a student aide to Commander Spock?"

"A year and a half."

"That soon? You were made an aide after only six months? Is that common?" Ramsey asked, his tone implying that he already knew the answer.

"No, ...I mean I was not aware that it was not the norm, but it fit in my studies." Uhura took a deep breath and tried to calm her nerves. She had nothing to be afraid of.

"And how long have you known Commander Spock?" Uhura's eyes darted to Matthias, making all effort to avoid the Commander. She was not sure what she read in his eyes, but decided the truth was the only option.

"Eight years." Ramsey choked on his tongue.

"Excuse me? How long did you say that you've known the Commander?"

"Eight years. I met him at a recruitment seminar. I was just a kid and I am sure that I was just a pest and got in his way. He was with Captain Pike. I met several of the Captains crew. They made a great impression on me that shaped my life and my goals." Uhura felt herself rambling, and unable to stop herself. Ramsey as well as the board listened in active attention. So much, that he failed to halt her monologue.

"I was with them for an afternoon, and I am sure that they did not think of me again, but I never forgot. If it hadn't been for them, I would not be here today."

Ramsey seemed to come to himself, and moved forward, "Cadet Uhura, you are on a full scholarship, are you not?"

"Yes."

"And the name of this "Scholarship"? Ramsey asked , making the word scholarship sound obscene. Uhura, unsure of where this was going answered hesitantly.

"The Starfleet Service Memorial Scholarship." Ramsey smirked at the name as he turned to the board.

"And how did you become familiar with this "Scholarship"?"

"I was awarded it my senior year in high school." Uhura's tone more confident, sure that she was on solid ground on this answer. I was awarded several scholarships, but this was the one that I chose." Ramsey turned to her, malice no longer hidden, flared in his eyes.

"Isn't it true that there is no such thing as the " Starfleet Service Memorial Scholarship"? That this is just a made up excuse, to cover up the fact that you are taking money from your Commander on a regular basis?"

"NO! I was awarded the scholarship on my graduation day."

"And just who awarded this scholarship, Ms. Uhura?"

Uhura turned her eyes to Spock for the first time since she made her way into the courtroom. Mathias had also turned to his client, but the two had eyes only for each other. Uhura did not like what she saw in the Vulcan's eyes. Afraid to get caught in their ebony depths, she wrenched her vision back to the prosecutor's face.

"Answer the question, Cadet." Uhura opened her mouth but found that her answer would not come out. Again her eyes touched the Commander's face, her confusion and hurt echoed through the fibers of their connection, causing the Commander to brace himself on the table top. Matthias noticed his client's discomfort, and placed a hand on his arm. Spock did not seem to notice, he was too busy trying in vain to communicate his assurance, through the delicate connection. Somehow, it looked to be a futile effort.

"Cadet Uhura, bank records clearly show transactions from Commander Spock depositing regular amounts in the account that you have made monthly withdrawals. Your honors I would like to enter the following forms as evidence."

Matthias stood up and objected. "Objection, your honors. Prosecution has not made the defense aware of such records. They have not given us time to make our defense. They have violated disclosure."

"Your honors, the prosecution has just been made aware of this evidence and have not had the chance to make disclosure." Ramsey's tone irritating as it grated on Matthias' nerves. "The defense should clearly understand, since it is currently looking for a witness that it wanted to enter evidence on this very morning?" Ramsey reminded Matthias of his bluff from this morning.

Ramsey added, " I am perfectly satisfied if the defense wants a recess to look over the evidence to be entered in tomorrow morning. That should give them plenty of time to supply their defense." Ramsey was pleased with himself as he handed over the documents, his superior attitude flashing in his eyes.

"Is that sufficient for you?" Admiral Nelson asked as Matthias rapidly scanned the computer readout of the debits and withdrawals. The account numbers consistent with a few odd numbers dispersed in between. Something was not adding up, but for the life of him, the councilman could not decipher with all the other noise echoing in his head.

"Councilman?" The admiral's voice turning sharper.

Matthias looked up to see Cadet Uhura close her eyes and a single tear escaped their caged depths. The councilman looked to his client, in time to see him flinch at the same sight.

"Councilman?"

"Yes, your honors that would be adequate."

**Sorry it took longer to update. I am no legal expert by any means. So I apologize for any errors. I just love a good court fight. The next chapter will have more Uhura and Spock I promise. I just feel so sorry for them right now. thanks for the reviews. they keep me on the right path. **


	12. Chapter 12 Good Intentions

**Chapter 12 Good Intentions**

"This hearing is dismissed until 9 am tomorrow morning. Everyone rise. Footfalls echoed through the chamber as everyone stood to their feet and watched the Admirals leave the room through the back entrance. Uhura's knees locked as tremors raced through her legs. Clutching the witness box she turned her eyes from the Admirals to Spock, who had not broke his gaze from her face. She could not read his expression, and cursed his Vulcan heritage.

Spock took one step to the side, before Matthias grabbed his arm to stop him. The councilman gave him a warning look and took a step back, pulling his client with him.

The Commander opened his mouth to protest, but Matthias interrupted him in clipped tones, "Not now." Matthias continued to direct him to the exit, while Uhura looked on in unbelief.

"I cannot just leave her..." Spock protested as they picked up speed, making their way through the crowed corridor.

"The hell you can't." Matthias stated as he took a side exit, opening the door to the bright sunshine of the courtyard. Spock opened his mouth again to reason with his council, only to be shut down. "Not now." Matthias looked to the edge of the lawn searching for something, before he took Spock's arm and directed him to the hover taxi waiting at the foremost east point. Spock accepted the set down with acquiescence and followed the older man to the east edge of the lawn.

They entered the taxi and it took off without direction. Matthias held up his hand to stop his client from trying to speak for a third time as he opened his communicator and bit out a command. "How fast can you come up to San Francisco? Yes, I have some questions for you. " Spock waited, no signs of his anxiety, except for nervous tick at his right temple. "Where?... No, that would be better. More private. Meet you there." Matthias ended the conversation and entered a different code as he turned his pensive gaze toward the Commander.

"Yes, go get her...No, change of plans, I will email you the coordinates." Matthias closed the communicator and then turned to the window. Spock remained silent, waiting for the councilman to open the conversation. Both remained in the stalemate for several minutes before the older man gave the taxi driver new coordinates and then closed the privacy glass. Matthias turned his angry eyes to the Vulcan, still Spock kept his silence.

"I asked for honesty. I warned you that my ability to defend you, was only as good as my knowledge of the situation. You continue to leave me in the dark, Mr. Spock. You continue to mislead me." Spock opened his mouth to deny any such doings, only to close it at the intent glare from the councilman. Matthias held up the transcriptions from the bank facility, "what is this?" His tone rising in his anger.

"It looks like transcriptions from a bank facility." Spock's tone even and fact filled. Matthias gave him a disgusted look and waved them again.

"You know what I mean. Don't hide behind technicalities. What is the meaning of this? Your credit account is all over this. It goes back two years, Mr. Spock."

"I would assume that would be obvious. I am the primary benefactor of the scholarship." As before, Spock's tone was even and without emotion, which infuriated the older man.

"Yes, Mr. Spock, that much is obvious." Matthias slurred his reply with great sarcasm. "What is not obvious, Commander, is why you would go to such lengths to per portrait a fraudulent scholarship to keep your mistress."

Spock's expression hardened at the councilman's accusation. "There is no valid reason to insult Ms. Uhura. I can assure you that the scholarship is not fraudulent. The account was created by Captain Pike and myself eight years ago, to assist Ms. Uhura in her academic career. And has been used for that sole purpose."

Matthias studied his client for a moment before he asked, "why would you do that? I mean, she was just a child, what did she mean to you?" Matthias was truly confused. What would a starship Captain and a Vulcan officer have in common with a preteen Earth girl from the wrong side of town? It just didn't make sense.

Spock took his time, trying to formulate his answer. "I... the Captain and I saw great potential in Ms. Uhura. The evidence clearly stated that without assistance, she would not have had the opportunity to meet said potential. We took the only logical course. We created the scholarship to help her achieve her goals." Matthias was still skeptical.

"And you saw this after one afternoon? In just a few hours conversation with an eleven year old? That is anything but logical, Mr. Spock. And I think it will be highly doubtful if I can convince a panel of Admirals to think any way else." Matthias was contemplative for the next few minutes, as he turned back to the window. Spock kept his silence as he looked at the view from his own window. They had reversed direction, heading toward the northern coast. The metropolitan areas were soon replaced with deserted rocky coastline that glittered in the bright sunlight of the afternoon.

"You said that you and Pike started this account eight years ago? It is highly doubtful that you two put in your whole revenue from your starfleet careers into this account. How do you account for the balance?" Matthias was surprised when the Commander hesitated with his answer. He noticed that the Vulcan's eyes broke contact first, which was unusual in itself, but there was something else in his ebony eyes. Could that be guilt? Matthias leaned forward. "Come on out with it. If there is anything that could be construed as illegal or lewd, I would like to be made aware before it is declared before the board."

"It was not lewd." Spock's declaration was immediate and held a hint of irritation of being insulted. But Matthias also noticed that he left out the word illegal in his defense. The councilman's senses pricked at the conclusion. The Vulcan would only do that on purpose. And for one reason only.

"So it was illegally obtained." Matthias' statement was met with more hesitancy. "How much trouble are we talking about here?"

"It was … not illegal in the sense that you are surmising. It... " Matthias was getting nervous at the Commander's stuttered speech, so unlike his character. It could only mean trouble.

"Spit it out Spock!" Spock flinched at the councilman's emphatic exclamation. The knock on the window, brought the Commander to attention. He was not aware that they had reached their destination. They were parked in front a beach bungalow on stilts facing the Pacific Coast. Captain Pike was at the Councilman's window, trying to get their attention. Spock felt a small measure of relief to see his former Captain. Matthias scanned the sensor to pay for the ride and opened his door. Spock opened his own and made his way around the vehicle.

"So I hear that it didn't go so well." Pike's understatement was met with a punch on his arm.

"You have some explaining to do mister." Matthias demanded as he motioned for him to lead the way.

Uhura could not believe that Spock and Matthias just left her like that. She stood in the empty hearing room, staring at the vacant chairs, where they were sitting just a few minutes ago, a numbness growing in the pit of her stomach.

The cadets mind whirled with the change of events from this afternoon. She never thought that she would doubt the Commander or his intentions, but the things she had just heard, did not make sense. And his eyes did not deny the accusations. A custodial employee entered and started cleaning the room. On shaky legs, the cadet made her way out of the witness box and out of the hearing room. She was met with speculative gazes as she moved down the corridor, Uhura meeting their eyes with as much decorum as she could gather. She had nothing to be ashamed of. Matthias' reminder to not give them any ammunition to shoot back at her. She deliberately slowed her steps, to not appear as if she were running away from their rude curiosity.

Uhura felt someone pull her arm, and turned her startled expression to her roommate. "There you are. I have been looking all over for you. Come on now, we are going to be late for my birthday party." Gaila pulled on Uhura to move her toward the side exit. The cadet resisted, not in the mood to party, and irritated that Gaila would believe that she would be.

"I don't want to go anywhere. I just want to go back to the room." Gaila got in the other girl's face.

"Oh, yes you do. You don't want to disappoint your boyfriend do you? Matty is just waiting to talk to you." Uhura's eyes narrowed on the Orion. "Not to mention that Chris is waiting too. And they are bringing a guest. I know you want to see him."

Uhura no longer resisted as Gaila pulled her to the exit door. She noticed that the people around her were not even trying to hide their curiosity. When they made it out into the bright daylight, Gaila released her arm and pointed to a couple of taxis at the curb. Uhura opened her mouth, but closed it at the expression she received from her roommate.

Gaila opened the door and let Uhura get in first. She was surprised when Gaila just scanned her credit chip and spoke to Uhura, "Just key in our room number as the pin."

"Aren't you coming with me?" Uhura asked as Gaila shut the door. Her roommate pointed to the other taxi that had another occupant in the back seat. Uhura could not see the person in detail, but she was about the same build and coloring as herself, in a red cadet's uniform.

"No, it's time for me and "Cadet Uhura" to party." At Nyota's confused expression, she elaborated, "Cadet Timmon's can't be confused with you with close scrutiny, but from a distance no one will tell, and Matthias thinks that they won't tail you too much. Off you go now and don't have too much fun." Gaila closed the side of the taxi and tapped the side for the hover craft to go.

As she drove away, she realized that she hadn't even thanked her friend for her help. Once the Academy was behind her and the city sights turned into the vast highway did she find her body letting go of the rigid stance. If only her mind could do the same. Taking a deep breath, she scanned the horizon as she tried to make a rhyme and reason to her scattered thoughts. Her first inclination was to accuse Spock of deliberately trying to trick her. But what could possibly be his reason to make her think that the scholarship was not exactly what she thought it was?

She didn't want to jump to conclusions. Uhura laughed to herself, the sound bitter in remembrance. Jumping to conclusions can cause all kinds of heartache that she was well familiar with. Nyota had not felt so alone since her Uncle's funeral. Time slipped past the window as easily as the scenery as she thought back a little more than six months ago, when her world turned upside down.

_The sound of the rain as it pelted on her umbrella drown out most of the of the words of the reverend, as he spoke of terms of comfort and promise to the mourners that gathered at the graveside service. Uhura was sure that she had shed all the tears that her body could hold, but was surprised that drops still fell on her hands as she clutched the handle of the black umbrella that completed her somber ensemble. Her eyes broke contact with simple casket that was adorned with daises and white carnations, his favorite flowers. _

_Hanori was very specific with his funeral requests. No cremation, he did not fancy burning in the fires of hell, and did not want to start his eternal life in a pit. A facsimile of a smile framed her face at the memory. _

_The pain of knowing she would never have another conversation with him sliced through her heart, causing her face to crumble and sobs to escape from her throat. Gaila placed an arm around her shoulders, giving her a gentle squeeze. Uhura gave her a wobbly smile in gratitude. And she was grateful for her roommates comfort. Grateful for all of her friends and family that rallied around her in her time of need. But it also gave her no time for herself. No time to be alone. No time for Spock to approach her. And she was lonely. _

_It had only been three weeks ago, when the incident with Charlie happened, she could not let herself think of it as more than that, and her relationship had not progressed as much as she would have liked. They had not had the privacy to initiate any intimate contact. And Spock was …..Spock. He was no more physically responsive than before their breakthrough. She was hard pressed not to believe that it had all been a dream, if not for the few moments, when his voice softened or his eyes betrayed a familiarity that went beyond teacher-pupil relationship. _

_Uhura had been awakened in the dead of night four days ago, to be called to the hospital, only to find that her uncle had slipped away peacefully in his sleep. Since then, she had been surrounded and supported by distant relatives and fellow students. And in all of their embraces, she had never felt so alone._

_Uhura lowered her head as the reverend said the last prayer. The formality of the benediction caused fresh tears to fall as she silently said her last goodbyes. All too soon the congregation echoed the amen and she felt herself surrounded with people forming a receiving line to give their condolences. One person blended into the next as their words flowed over her in the persistent ping of the rain. _

_She made sure that her smile remained fixed on her face and made the occasional thanks of appreciation as one after another took her hand or gave her a customary hug. Uhura felt numb. Then he was there._

_He did not bother with an umbrella but let the water flow over him. His expression was void of emotion. To others he would look no different than if he were in front of his classroom. But she knew different. His eyes held his concern. Spock just stood in front of her. He did not try to speak the same generic words that had been said numerous times before. He did not try to touch her, but she felt his heat in the close proximity. Uhura drank in his presence. She longed to touch him, but that was impossible with the crowd that surrounded her. Uhura could feel the others in the line impatiently waiting their turn to speak with her and she felt the moment slipping away. It just wasn't fair. _

"_Thank you for coming." The words stumbled from her lips. His eyes followed her lips movement and she involuntarily swayed toward him. Spock's hands found their way to her arms to steady her._

"_Are you alright Cadet?" His compassion softened his normally clipped tone. Uhura closed her eyes to the warmth that flowed from the contact. She felt an echo through the fragile bond that they were forging. Others closed in, afraid that the Cadet was going to faint. Uhura opened her eyes as Spock's hands were pulled away. She took one step forward, but it was too late. He was swallowed up by the well wishers, who closed in to offer assistance. She felt like growling at them to leave her alone, but did not give in to the urge. The crowd lead her away to the hover taxis that would take her to the bar, that would hold her uncle's dinner. Without protest, she got in and sat back into the seat, the whole time she felt herself being led away fro Spock and felt like exploding at the situation. Gaila took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. _

"_It's ok to feel angry and sad. Everyone grieves differently." Her roommates words, although misplaced, were still comforting. Nyota looked out the window as they made their way for her last night at the bar. It had been sold. The new owners were going to take possession the next day. Until then it was closed. She had a little more packing to do, but other than that all that was left to do was say goodbye to the place that had been her only home on Earth. _

_It hit her like a wave, taking her breath. She was alone in the world. Yes, she had distant relatives and friends, but with her parents gone and now her Uncle Hanori, she could not help but feel like an orphan. Again Gaila squeezed her hand._

_Through the rest of the ride, Uhura tried to keep her mind blank. It helped to deal with the pain. While Gaila paid for the ride, Uhura made her way to the Bar's entrance, noticing that the sign that read Hanori's Happy Hour was still hanging by a couple of wires, yet in all the years, that she had lived there, it was no closer to falling down than it was now. He had made numerous declarations that he was going to fix it, but never made the time. Guess it did not matter now. The thought echoed in the hallow pit of her stomach. _

_Her cousins had already set up a small buffet on the bar's counter and had the tables ready to receive the mourning guests. One of her cousins handed her a glass of iced tea and told her to take a seat, that they had everything under control. Control. One thing she felt lacking at the moment. The rest of the evening past in alternating segments of pain and laughter. She welcomed the moments of peaceful reminiscing, but her eyes kept straying to the doors, expecting Spock to show up at any minute. But he did not come. _

_Deep in her heart, she knew that he was not comfortable with emotion, and the room was reeling in it. She knew that he was concerned with appearances, and his attending the funeral was acceptable, but the dinner was for closer friends and family. She knew that any moment of intimacy was initiated by her. But she could not help herself from hoping. And it hurt that he was not there. _

Spock took in the spectacular view from the floor to ceiling windows of the beach front bungalow. The waves were topped with frothy white caps as they billowed and crested on the rocks below. The Vulcan felt overwhelmed by the display of so much water in one space, his own planet void of any oceans of mass. For a moment the earth shifted under his feet, and he mentally documented the experience in his mind.

"Have you ever seen anything like this Mr. Spock?" Captain Pike's question intruded in the Commander's thoughts. It took a moment for Spock to find his voice.

"I cannot say that I have Captain." Matthias broke up the two to have them to take a seat at the table. He was not in the mood for small talk. Until the revealing of the bank documents, he was confident that the hearing was going to be dismissed because lack of evidence, but that was blown out of the water by the prosecution. Matthias hated being left in the dark and he took this latest display as a direct insult. He was so close to dropping this case, friend or no friend. The councilman felt betrayed. And at the moment he did not know who to blame more.

"Alright let's get started. Someone want to tell me what the hell is going on? Well, don't all talk at once." This last statement was made when the other two occupants at the table exchanged censored looks. Pike shrugged his shoulders to let Spock have the floor.

"Would you please clarify your question." Matthias rolled his eyes at the Vulcan.

"Are we really going to play it like that?" The councilman stared down the other two before he bit out with great condensation. "Why would two dedicated Starfleet officers take the time and money to create a scholarship for a kid, and continue to contribute to the fund even after presenting said scholarship?" The two officers looked back to each other. Matthias snapped his fingers a couple of times to get their attention.

"Over here guys. Stay with me now. And why the hell did you not tell me? Do you like making me look like a fool? Do you want me to quit? Speak up guys, any time." Spock spoke up first.

"I apologize for any inconvenience our omission may have caused. I assure you it was not intentional." Again Matthias rolled his eyes at Spock's first statement.

"You have yet to answer any of my questions." Matthias was losing the last of his patience.

"I was impressed with Cadet Uhura's natural talent with phonology. Even at that early age, she showed exceptional ability and sensitivity. It was obvious by her Uncle and environment that she would not be able to attain the education needed to enhance those abilities without assistance."

Pike interrupted. "It was my idea. I was the one to suggest it. I have just as much responsibility in this as Mr. Spock. We did not bring it up because we did not see the need. The scholarship was made in good faith and there is nothing obscene about it." Matthias rubbed his chin.

"That is not for us to decide. The problem is that it fits in with the perception that the prosecution is trying to create for the Commander. Our job is to tear down that perception. We need to make this scholarship professional and established." Matthias got up to pace. He did his best thinking on his feet. "What we need to do is distance the two of you from it." Matthias turned back to the two gentlemen. "How many people know about this scholarship? Are there any others that can testify that this was not some dirty secret held by just the two of you?"

The two officers looked back at each other, silently communicating. Matthias was getting disgusted again.

"Come on you two, don't leave me out of the conversation again." His voice was laced with frustration and threat.

Pike turned guilty eyes on the councilman, his voice hesitant with what he was about to reveal. "Yes, there are a number of people who are aware of this scholarship, but it may be hard to get them to testify." Matthias was concerned about the legal factor again.

"What's the problem? Are you telling me it was financed with illegal means?" Spock took over the conversation.

"Technically, it is not illegal, however, the financial backing was made with activities that are frowned upon by Starfleet regulations. The participants may not want to be identified in the particular activities."

"Just spit it out Mr. Spock. What activities?"

"Gambling. Poker to be precise." Spock's answer surprised the councilman. He wasn't quite sure what the officer was going to say, but poker was not it.

"It started out our weekly poker game on the ship. We asked the winners if they wanted to donate their earnings to the fund. Most of them were good sports, and soon everyone was doing it. Word spread and we started having tournaments with other ship crews. We even had other sponsored tournaments outside our own ship that made contributions. A few admirals joined in. Mind you, the activity of gambling is against Starfleet regulation and could result in disciplinary action. So it was not openly talked about. But that did not stop it from happening."

"Can you give me names?" Pike shook his head yes. "Matthias looked down at the document the prosecution wanted to submit. It only went back two years. Hardly enough to establish credibility to Spock's statement. If the prosecution wanted to add this document into the record, he was going to make them work for it. "Did any of these participants make direct deposits into the account?"

Pike looked to Spock for confirmation and Spock answered for the both of them, "I do believe that a few did, but not in the last couple of years."

"I need to get those records. With those deposits, we can establish credibility and legitimacy. Chris I will need your help..." The rest of his request was lost by the audible signal of the door bell.

Pike was closest to the door, so he stood up to answer it. Uhura stood hesitantly outside the doorway. Pike waved her in. The other gentlemen stood up, Matthias greeted her and asked her to sit at the table.

"I thought that I was not allowed to be in this close proximity to Commander Spock?" Uhura kept her eyes on the councilman. Now that she was in Spock's presence, she felt uneasy, unsure of his reasons for keeping her in the dark, and not sure she wanted to know the answer.

"At this point, I am choosing the lesser of two evils. I would much rather have you informed of the situation, before the prosecution tries to take more pot shots at you."

Uhura bowed her head, "I am sorry that I did so poorly at the hearing, they just took me by surprise." Matthias quickly assured her that it was not her fault, his tone soft and comforting.

"You must not take it to heart Cadet. It was not your fault. You had no idea that your scholarship was anything but what was directed to you. If Spock and Pike were open with their information, we would not be in this predicament, trying to defend ourselves without all the facts." The councilman's statement was emphasized with dagger stares at the two gentlemen.

" Now then, I need to get with my people to try to get the bank records we need, Chris if you could try to gather up some of these names and try to contact them to see if we can build up our case I would appreciate it." Chris nodded as he got his communicator out. Matthias turned his intent gaze to the Commander. "Talk this out. Clear the air, so she's not in the dark." Matthias waited for Spock to nod before he stepped into the next room, his communicator on speed dial. Pike told the two to make themselves at home and followed the councilman out of the room.

Uhura waited for Spock to speak first. Normally, she was the one to push the conversation along. Not this time. They could stand there all night, for all she cared, in a staring contest, but damn it, he was going to make the first move.

Warily, Spock stared back. _Was that fear in his eyes?_ No, it couldn't be. Fear was an emotion that he did not indulge in. Uhura took a step forward. Spock's eyes widened infinitesimally, not enough for her to notice, unless she had been studying his face so thoroughly. Moving closer, she gauged his response. He took a hesitant step back, as if to give her more room. _He was afraid._ Very well she would give him a chance to compose himself. Uhura kept moving past him to view the ocean through the wall of glass.

Spock watched the Cadet warily, calculating the most efficient way to relay the facts that he had omitted about the scholarship. Taking in account Nyota's tendency to react to conflict with volatile emotion, Spock silently calculated the probability of getting through this conversation unscathed was 73% at best. However, it was impossible to add all of the variables of Nyota's human unpredictability of female logic. He couldn't help but remember another time when he had underestimated the Cadet's sensitivity.

_Spock superstitiously looked toward the door. Cadet Uhura had been on a leave due to the death of her Uncle for the last week, but the funeral had been two days ago and today was the aural final for Caitian diplomacy. She knew the importance of this test. He could not fathom the idea that Nyota would fail to complete this final. He decided to reassess his decision to give the Cadet her privacy to deal with her grief without interference on his part. Perhaps he would open communication with her this afternoon if she did not make an appearance before hand. _

_Picking up his PADD, Spock scanned the entries to see who had completed their final in the com lab, when Uhura breezed through, a whirlwind as she went to her com unit at her desk and deftly opened the program extracting the information she needed to start the phonology program in the lecture hall. Spock watched her for signs that she was still suffering from her grief, but she showed no indication that this was so._

"_Cadet Uhura." His greeting was met with dry dull eyes. Spock noticed the dark circles that highlighted their ebony depths. There were drawn lines around her mouth, that was stretched in a tight line. She looked tired and drained. Perhaps she needed more time to recuperate. He had no experience in this situation and had no reference to navigate. "Are you well Cadet?" _

_Uhura showed no signs that she had heard his question as she keyed in the sequence to have the lecture ready for activation by the podium controls and then confirmed it to her instructor._

"_The lecture is ready for your initiation Commander." Uhura stated as she picked up her PADD and made her way to the hall, not bothering to look at him again. Spock took a step toward her and touched her arm. She flinched as if he had burned her and took a step to move around him. The whole time he watched her face, and braced himself for an emotional outburst, but it never came. On the contrary, there was no emotion at all. That disturbed him more than if she were openingly weeping._

"_Cadet is there something the matter?" Uhura looked up to him, a flare of heat lit up her eyes, only to be extinguished immediately. She nodded in the negative and moved toward the door. Spock took hold of her arm, firmly this time to stop her. "Nyota, what is it?"_

_Uhura turned sharply, "No, you don't. Not now." Her words bit out sharply, pain in each syllable. Spock's expression of confusion ignited her irritation. _

"_Do what? You seem perturbed . I am merely trying to ascertain the reason for your current demeanor. I cannot do so without you telling me." _

"_Are you serious?" At her question he assured her that in deed he was always serious. Uhura gave a bitter chuckle and replied, "you have a wonderful sense of timing Commander. Let me get back to you." _

"_Nyota I do not understand. Please clarify." Uhura took a deep breath to get a control of her anger. One whole week, he did not make a single attempt to talk to her, to see how she was doing, and now a couple of minutes before class, he wanted to discuss her feelings? Was he that clueless? Spock's eyes darkened with confusion as he reached for her face with his other hand. The thought left her cold, that he would try to seek something so intimate at a time like this. She jerked free of his hand and moved away to give some distance between them. _

"_Spock I can't believe that you would pretend that you don't understand why I am upset." Spock tilted his head, deep in thought. Uhura waited for him to speak, for him to explain his neglect at least. Even the worn out excuse of avoiding the appearance of familiarity would be welcome compared to the silence that greeted her. _

"_Nyota I do not pretend. It is obvious that you have a grievance with me, but I cannot rectify it, if I am not aware of the root cause." Spock's authoritative tone worked it's way under her skin. _

_Uhura dropped her the volume of her voice as she confronted the Commander, "I just lost my Uncle, Spock."_

_Spock's voice softened, "I am aware of that Nyota." She could see that he still did not understand. Uhura tried to remind herself that he was not fully human and the Vulcans might not react to grief in the same way. But he had been around humans enough to be more considerate of their emotions. _

"_Spock, I just lost the last close family member. The one person who had taken care of me. The person that welcomed me into his home, and took me in like a daughter. He was the closest thing I had to a Father and Mother." The Cadet could see that he was digesting the information that she was giving him, but without understanding the emotions behind it, he would never realize why she was so upset._

"_Perhaps you need more time to process your grief. If you need to extend your leave..." Uhura interrupted him, breaking down her feelings into the simplest description she knew how to. _

"_Spock I was hurting, and alone. I felt lost and alone. I was scared and alone. I needed you to be there. I needed you to hold my hand and tell me that I was not alone. I needed you to tell me that it was going to be ok. I needed you to hold me and let me cry and talk about how much I would miss him. Spock __**I needed you**__." The Commander blinked as he processed the information. He really was oblivious to her need. _

"_Nyota I apologize if I hurt you, by assuming that you would have wanted privacy in your time of grief. I followed the traditional ways of my people. I assure you that although I may have not been with you in the physical sense, my thoughts were." Spock took a step closer to her and then stopped. Uhura dropped any pretenses of anger and closed the distance between them. _

"_Why did you stay away?" Spock raised his hand but stopped from touching her. Uhura grabbed his hand. His warmth a balm to her wounded pride. "I did not understand what kept you away." _

"_I thought that you would want time and distance to control your pain. It is impossible with people constantly around to distract. I did not want to add to your distress." Spock's reasoning made sense, in his own context._

"_I thought that you did not care." Her words caused his eyes to flinch. He raise his other hand and caressed her cheek._

_His voice trembled in its intensity. "That is the direct opposite of my feelings for you, Nyota. I did want to be with you, but I felt that it would have been a truly selfish action on my part. I was trying to put your needs above my own. Obviously, I erred grievously in my calculations." Spock's words broke the last control she had on her tears as they slipped past her lashes. Uhura choked on her sob as a chuckle bubbled up her throat._

"_I do believe that is the first time I've heard you admit a mistake in your perfect calculator mind of yours. Uhura said as she moved into the hand that continued to caress as he wiped the tears that lay against mocha skin. He lifted her chin to raise her face, locking eyes with her._

"_Nyota I have never claimed to be perfect. There will be times when I fail miserably in trying to understand your emotions. They are as alien to my thinking as the landscape of Vulcan would be to you. That does not mean that I am not trying. Or that I do not want to understand." Uhura closed her eyes at the raw emotion that she saw burning in his own chocolate depths. She felt the heat radiating from his nearness, before she felt the __burning pressure of his lips as they sealed over her own. _

_He swallowed her surprise, at his first initiation of intimacy. She was so lost in the kiss, that she did not know when he opened the mind meld, until she felt his presence in every aspect of her thoughts. He showed her that in the past week, he was not exaggerating when he said that his thoughts were with her. He had been worried, and anxious for her well being. He also longed for her company, her presence. _

_She led him to the threads, where she had been longing for him. Uhura showed him how she had wished for his strength, is arms to hold her, for his shelter. Phantom arms wrapped around her, echoing the physical arms that pressed her closer. Phantom arms that drew her further into his consciousness until she blended into his thoughts and feelings, both alien and yet so familiar. Both broke the kiss as they gasped for breath, yet the connection was still just as strong. Within the meld there was no doubt of feelings, of intentions. She wished that it would never be broken. Uhura reached deeper, to be closer. Spock closed his eyes at the depth of feeling, not able to control intensity. _

_Uhura paused at the alien presence that met her. Not Spock, but another presence, curious and questing. Spock broke the contact, sharply and without any warning, but not before the impression formalized into a beautiful Vulcan female, regal and cold in calculation. _

_Spock stepped out of Uhura's arms his eyes lighting anywhere but on the Cadet, his breath shaky, as it sawed through his lungs. Uhura felt his distress, sharp and bitter in its intensity. She knew that he did not want her to have contact with this person._

"_Who is she?" Uhura's voice dry and raw. Spock opened his mouth, but nothing came out and belatedly he closed it. "Was she your...girlfriend?" Spock turned away, he hand going to his temple. And she had the strangest feeling that he was having a silent war within his head. Maybe with this Vulcan female. But that was just her ridiculous imagination. She would have known if he was involved with someone else. Wouldn't she? Spock __turned back as if he were privileged to her thoughts. Maybe he was. _

"_It doesn't matter." Uhura's words forced out before she was truly conscious of them herself. She tried to rephrase them. "I don't need to know about your past. It doesn't matter to me, your past." Her words seemed to have the opposite result than what she expected as he continued to avoid her gaze._

"Nyota, the scholarship was Chris and my way of helping you achieve your academic goals. Nothing more." Spock's words hesitant as he looked at her reflection in the glass, not quite able to face her head on.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Her question just as hesitant. Spock shrugged as he took his time to form the correct sequence of words to explain.

"You were proud of your achievement and ….there never seemed to be a correct time to inform you. I make no excuses... I did not know how to tell you. Then later it did not seem to be important." The truth echoed in each word that fell from his lips. Uhura smiled. He was protecting her pride. And maybe his own embarrassment. He would be hard pressed to boast of his own good will dealings.

"I should be flattered that you made up a scholarship just for me. Particularly since I made such a pest of myself when we first met." Through the reflection on the glass she could see a trace of a smile mark Spock's lips, at the memory. Afraid it would disappear if she turned toward him, she continued to spy his mirrored features.

"You were precocious. But you were gifted. It was apparent even then. …. I did not mean to cause you pain...I ..." Suddenly, it did not matter why he chose not to disclose the scholarship details. He cared enough, all those years ago. He had not forgotten or abandoned her, when he had no obligation to do so. She turned to him and reached up to cradle his face.

"It does not matter. You cared enough to take care of my future. And I never knew." She leaned in and he followed, relief flashed in his eyes before they were obscured by his dark lashes. The kiss was light and filled with gratitude for her forgiveness. They were interrupted with someone clearing their throat, both parting in embarrassment at being caught. Chris's eyes were as big as saucers, at the sight of his first officer's actions.

"Glad to see that you _talked _all out. If you are done, we have more work to do, before the hearing convenes." Matthias dryly stated as he sat back down at the table.

**Sorry it took so long to update. My dog ate my homework per say. In reality, he (Yoda) ate the keys off my laptop computer. A good lesson to properly put up my computer when not in use and to not eat while I am working. After several dollars later, I was able to fix it. And a lesson in patience, the dog is well and I did not kill it like I threatened. Hope you like the chapter. **


End file.
